I feel like such a failure.

I'm taking Connie's challenge. I've not had sugar since Sunday. I'm doing the low carb diet. By taking this challenge and knowing I'm going to post here on Monday is helping. I'm commited not to eat sugar and to keep my carbs below 50 a day. My carbs will come from vegetables, like green beans and salad. I am from the south where everybody put a big piece of (fat back) pork in the green beans and cooked them till all the water was cooked out of them. I have my own recipe for my beans now. 1 can of cut green beans 1 tablespoon olive oil 1 tablespoon dehydrated onions 3 tablespoons of vinegar 2 packs of splenda Cook till all the water is cooked out. I cook them till they start to stick in the pan. I feel like such a failure. This is just one more diet that I can't do. When I first had the surgery in the first 4 months I lost 86 pounds. My eyes sparkled and my skin was like a young girls. I felt like a million dollars. Now my eyes are dull and I look like I'm sick. I told the women at work today that I believe all the people that had this surgery and has kept the weight off can't eat certain things because it makes them sick. My cousin had this surgery over 12 years ago and lost 200 pounds and she's still kept off 189 pounds, but if she eats sugar it makes her very sick. I went to a support group meeting and a man said at a restaruant they accidently brought him tea with sugar and he took one drink of it and he passed out. Too bad, I can eat anything and nothing makes me sick. But I'm going to keep trying . Judy

We are struggling, but not failures. We have to remember that WLS gave us a tool, not a magic spell. When we choose to use the tool it works. When we choose not to use it, it does not help. This is not a pass fail course. We are human and we are entitled to make choices, we just have to remember that the choices we make have consequences. If we don't like the consequences, we have to change the choices. You are sure not alone, Judy. But beating ourselves up just makes it worse. I don't know about you, but when I feel defeated, I most want comfort food. When I remember that I am making choices, I feel empowered and am much likelier to make good choices. I think that cutting out the sugar and white carbs would be a terrific first step back to control for all of us who have fallen into the carb pit. To do that, we need to have positive choices pre-made, easy and available. OK--this hurts, BUT... I'm going to a ladies retreat for my church tomorrow night where the featured end-session snack is chocolate fondue. Judy, you and Reenie shamed me into it. I'm going to stay away from it. Do you remember when we used to say that being thin feels better than the best food tastes? Hold that thought..... hold that thought... hold that thought..... Joy

Ok, all of us 'old fart' ladies - *****members Bobby Sherman??? I was madly in love with Bobby Sherman when I was a teenaged, star-struck girl with tons of acne and poundage - none the less, I was going to have Bobby Sherman's babies. Now Bobby is just as old as I am--older actually--and he has one hell of a pot belly while my belly is still flat and firm! *****members Bobby's tune, "Judy, Do You Love Me?" - the first lines of the lyrics went like this, "Judy, Judy, Judy, do you love me? Judy, Judy, Judy, do ya care? Judy, Judy, are you thinking of me? Judy, Judy, will you still be there?" JUDY, JUDY, JUDY....sing this song to YOU!!! Love YOU, care about YOU, be there for YOU. I am SO HAPPY that some of us are stepping up and posting to this Board the very real trouble we're in with food. And Joy is so right to point out how we can empower ourselves by owning the fact that this is about CHOICES. Take the power back from the food by owning the choices we make. The hard part is making this manageable so that we can meet with success; for me, this means the old tried and true adage of Overeaters Anonymous - and all the Anonymouses - One Day at a Time...this morning, as my troubled son headed out the door for school, he said this over his shoulder: "Have a good day, Mom. I love you, Mom. I'll do my best in school today, Mom. Try not to eat candy today, Mom." I stopped breathing for a moment, then recovered in time to say, "I love you, too, Devin. I will not eat candy today. I PROMISE you, Devin." And he was gone. It takes only a moment of connection to realize the impact we have on the lives of other people. I didn't know Devin was so atuned to what was happening with me. So TODAY, I made a promise to my son that I will NOT eat candy. Given that my relationship with my son, which has been so painful for quite a while now, is strongly connected to my hurting myself with food (old behaviors), then my promise to him FOR TODAY must hold some Power - a stronger power than food has over me. Find your source of power today, Judy. Sing that song to yourself: "Judy, Judy, Judy, do you love me?" YOU have been such an inspiration to ME. Thank you for being there. Here's to checking in on Monday, my dear friend. Love to you, Reenie

Judy please don't feel like a failure. I think there is alot of us that are in the same boat and I am so glad I can read this mess. and learn so much from you and everyone on here. I am one that can eat just about anything and it never bother me now. The only thing somethings like some sweets cause me to have the dumping problem. But I am having a problem with drinking diet sodas and I know that is a big no no. An I am the only one that can change that. When I just drank water or crystal lite I felt so much better. But I will keep trying too!!!!!!!!!!! Diana