Sorry!

I am so sorry to have worried so many of you with my last post. Truly, please accept my apologies and know that I'm ok - I was mostly thinking aloud in a very matter-of-fact sort of way. You all are so kind and wonderful to have expressed such concern. Let me say simply that, today I went swimming. It felt good. Really great. Quiet. Peaceful. I felt strong as my body cut through the water. Life is hard for all of us at some time or another - I know you are there for me. Thank you. With much love and gratitude, Maureen

I'll know you're ok when you sign your posts REENIE. We need to 'think aloud' and say how we really feel about things...it's the only way to make changes in order to better ourselves. And anyway, I'm jealous you went swimming. I am deathly afraid of the water (very strange for someone who lives at the beach) and always wanted to learn, but I'm positively terrified. Hugs, Joanie

I'm remembering my son when he was 4 and we were both in the pool together. "Momma, I want to swim but I'm so afraid." He was standing in the shallow water and wanted to swim to the deep end. I said, "It's okay to feel afraid, sweetie. The trick is to face your fear and do it anyway....I'm right here - you try when you're ready." And I turned slightly away from him, pretending to clean the pool, an arms length away if he needed me. I heard him whispering to himself, "Face my fear and do it anyway...face my fear and do it anyway..." Then I heard his push off and his legs kicking up great splashes of water and I turned to him then, making sure he knew I was right there with him...and we swam alongside each other to the deep until he grabbed onto the ladder. And we didn't say a word to each other. We were too busy grinning from ear to ear... I'll teach you, Joanie. I'll teach you. Love, Reenie

Didn't get to the first post until now, yet I get more worried about those who don't think about it and pretend issues don't exist. Keep on swimming through it all.

Ah, Ken...

I haven't been on this message board for EONS...life is stressful right now, my husband lost his job a YEAR ago, has not yet been able to find one. (He is truely trying). My daughter (my youngest) moved 750 miles away to college. Our life is in turmoil. SO who's isn't???...I tell myself. But I did want to ask. Reenie I know you were feeling depressed. I'm so sorry for that pain you experienced. Have any of you had panic attacks since being post-op? I experienced my first one while trying to drive the 10 hour drive from my parents home to my home. (this happened last month) Had to pull over 8 times as my arms felt like lead and I couldn't drive. It is was terrifying. As if my body was trying to STOP me from going home...home to all the problems. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband very much but this job loss has been a TREMENDOUS stress on us. I think my panic attack may have come on because I can no longer comfort myself with food. I have to FACE my feelings. What a scary thing! Any advice?? Even though I don't get on line much, I do THINK and PRAY for all my fellow March 04 travelers!! Love,ellen