Pammy's Back in Town!
Hello everyone!!!!! My son has gotten another new computer, well old computer but new to us! That puts me back on the internet without mooching off of my very good computer friends.
Its so good to be back in my own little computer room again.
Tomorrow is my 2 year anniversary. I've read everyones postings of how they felt what occomplishments they have, all the changes the obvious ones and the ones we never expected. Everything from hair loss to the most discusting smells.
The very first thing I remember was being lifted onto the stretcher to go to recovery. My first words were to the nurse..."do I look thinner yet?" That got a great laugh. I tried to laugh along with them but there was this incredible tightness coming from were the belly laugh should have been. That elastic binder. Along with all of the hospital stuff was the drill sargent commanding me to walk walk walk. I felt like I was in boot camp instead of carrying a heavy back pack I had a pole with fluid filled bags, drains, plastic hosing going into my arms and some other places I'd like to forget about. Then there was those blow up booties chugging away. Ahhhh but there was this fantastic little button clipped to my nighty and when I pushed it there would be a warm fuzzy feeling that I felt all the way from my toes to the top of my head. I slept. and slept. then took a nap then slept some more. The Aniestihia (spelling sorry) effects me in that it doesn't go away so I couldn't walk for a day & 1/2. Finally it wore off around 3am. I kicked the blow up booties off, grabbed my pole and all those bags and decided I was going to stand up on my own and WALK! STanding is an activity that reguires muscles that had just been cut and did not want to work. It was slow. It was painful. But I knew I could do it. I got about 1/2 way up and the towel that they had placed on the recliner chair got caught...in my butt cheeks. I couldn't reach around to get it out my hands were filled with hosing the other was that I just didn't have the muscle power to turn and then add to it that I was exhasued just by attempting to lift myself out of that chair! But I was still determed to walk. So I said to heck with it I"m heading out that door to the freedom of the laps around the nurses station! My room was right across from the statiion as I slowly took baby steps into the doorway they cheered me on! Go Pammy! You can do it! I had a morphien induced grin on my face. I felt like I was running a 5k marothon. as I turned out of my room they all noticed that I had a very long towel tail. I didn't care I was walking!
I've read so many wonderful postings about how this has changed our lives. Each and everyone of the postings has said something that hits me, that reminds me of were I was and now were I am.
I'm a stronger person now than I've ever been. I'm confident and I never thought I'd ever say that I was confident! While my life isn't perfect by any means I'm the happiest that I've ever been.
I feel wonderful.
This is such a big deal to have this anniversary. I wish I had wonderful words of wisdom to share.
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