Two years
OK--I'm a few days late with this...
As far as physical journeys go, it has been an easy trip for me. I lost down from a size 22 to a size 6, and have settled in at an 8. I recovered well and quickly from the surgery. The only complication I have had is an incisional hernia which appeared 18 months post op. I recovered from the surgery from that quickly and well. I am able to eat normally, with the only issues being sugar and quantity. (If I cross those boundaries, I yak!) I am eating more food than I expected to be able to, but not nearly as much as I used to. I struggle with carbs. All in all, the physical journey was all I hoped it would be and easier than I expected. I am pleased with the weight loss and content with the size (if not shape!) I ended up. My arthritis is much better and my sleep apnea is gone. I have gone hiking in Alaska, gone white water rafting, and scuba diving. I can run and play with my grandson.
Emotionally, I was not prepared for the changes in my relationships. I find myself avoiding overweight friends--not because I am repulsed, but because I feel guilty to have escaped when they can't. I find myself angry at preferential treatment given to thin people. I did not perceive persecution before surgery, but I am still shocked at the changes of attitudes toward me. Even compliments on my appearance make me angry because I interpret them as shallow--I am the same person that I always was! This, among other issues, almost destroyed my marriage, but I have come to realize it is my perception that has changed, not the behavior of those around me. Prejudice against obesity has always been a reality, and I can't change it. My heightened sensitivity to it is a side-effect of surgery that I am having to learn to live with.
Taking this step to improve my health was the biggest thing that I ever did for myself. I have come to believe that I deserve to treat myself well, and am taking a more active role in choosing my path, rather than letting life happen to me. I am realizing that this is not a dress rehearsal--it is the real thing, and I thank WLS for helping to teach me this.
I don't know what the future holds. My health may negatively impacted by some side effect of WLS that is currently unknown, but even so, I stand by my choice. I will deal with that if it comes. I have a better life on every front (I can say, even my marriage!) because of WLS.
It continues to be a tremendous blessing to share this journey with you all. I've never met any of your in person, but you understand me in a way that my closest friends and family never will. Love and continued blessings to each of you...
Joy
Hi pretty lady...so good to hear from you! Boy, do I relate to what you say in this post. I remember so clearly being the largest person in the room wherever I went, no matter the function or how many people were in attendance -- I was always the largest person there. Now, I notice the very heavy people, the morbidly obese people and my heart breaks for them; I want to go right up to them and say, "There is an answer for you, you don't have to live like this anymore!" Instead, I walk the other way, I am afraid to have anything to do with them. What is that all about? I saw a woman the other day...where was I??? Gosh, I can't even remember, but there were a lot of people there and she was so large she could barely walk. Yet, she mingled and talked with people and wore a beautiful smile on her face -- that was me two years ago and the smile I wore totally hid the pain in my heart and soul. I perfected the art of illusion and denial so that I could function on some level in the real world. Only when I absolutely had to venture into it, however; mostly, I stayed holed up in my home because it was easier and so much less painful to be alone with the laundry and with my food...When I see a morbidly obese person now, it's as if I can smell them, feel the perspiration on their arms and necks because it was me, it was me and the memory of that is still so raw and so frightening. I hope I will move from this place of fear and horror and make myself open and available to these folks, our sisters and brothers, and be of some help or comfort to them. Thanks for this, Joy. And thanks for being your wonderful self on this board, always so positive and caring even when you are responding to someone's post rooted in despair -- I've been that person and you've always been there for me. I truly hope to get to meet you one day. Take care, sweetie. Maureen
[IMG]http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f59/boemary/152.jpg[/IMG] God Bless you Joy! Have a Blessed Easter !
Most Active
Recent Topics
