Dawg shares a bit
Ken Matteson is draped across the satin comforter on his king sized water bed talking to a "chick" on his own phone line. Van Halen's Diver Down album blasts from the stereo filling not only the room, but also the entire basement of the modest three-bedroom home. The basement is basically his as it only contents are a laundry room, a storage room, a family room and his bedroom. The family room has a couch, a chair and the remainder is filled with weights. Ken has just arrived home from wrestling practice, scarfed a meal down, lifted a few weights and thought of his future. In a few short weeks, he'll transition from wrestling to track and finish his senior year in high school. Ken is 6'2, muscular but still has some baby fat. The former captain of his high school football team, he is a gym rat who is popular due to his sense of humor, genuine kindness, and success on the playing fields. School was easy, and not much effort was made other then attending and doing the work presented. However, with a natural gift for math he progressed through the honors math courses with little effort. Scoring well enough on the ACT and combined with his abilities on the playing field, Ken was offered scholarships at two of the leading small engineering schools in the west. Numerous other schools offered all they could in order to get him to play college football at their institution, but the one school he really wanted to attend feels he isn't big enough of Division 1 football, and only offers him to walk on. On the outside, Ken had everything going for him. Yet, like all people there were issues. Ken had been the fat kid in the past, but sports and activity kept him from becoming obese. He has issues with food, and often uses it as a tool to deal with the alcoholic and verbally abusive father. Ken has decided to accept a scholarship at the in state engineering school and put off his desire to attend the University of Montana. After a semester, the coaching staff is fired at his dream school with the only holdover being his position coach. Ken decides that he wants to reach for the stars and transfers to the University of Montana.
Between his freshman and sophomore years in college, Ken takes a job loading 100 pound bags of sugar from 4 to midnight. His best friend, and unknown to him at the time future Professional football player, wakes him at 8:00 for their workouts. At the end of the summer and transformation has been made. Ken now is no longer fat, in fact he proudly wears muscle tank tops and returns to the University of Montana wear he earns a scholarship, and meets his future wife while completing his degree. After graduating, Ken is married and moves to the hometown of his new wife.
After a short stint in retail management and turning down several transfers, Ken lands a job in insurance. He is fighting the battle of the bulge as his food issues haven't changed, and he can no longer workout like he used did before. Soon he is doing the yo-yo routine of gaining and losing. Gaining more each time until he gets to the point that he can no longer get active enough to burn the food he intakes and then the occasional abuse of a bag of cookies or carton of ice cream add more fuel to the fire. Soon, Ken begins to lie to himself and although he knows he is getting bigger, he can't comprehend his actual size. He begins to think of options, and begins to research Gastric Bypass surgery. After a year of research Ken goes to see a doctor about the surgery. He is surprised to step on the scale and see the number 500 come up. After his consult, he is determined to make a change in his life.
Two years later and 240 pounds lighter, Ken has had the excess skin removed due to the massive weight loss. Through the struggles of the weight loss he achieved his desire to get involved in law enforcement and became a healthily individual. The father of three girls, Ken feels like he has regained his life back. While he isn't on a satin comforter of a waterbed, Ken feels that just as the kid back in 85 did, his life is full of opportunities once again. He feels like he'll be around to see his daughters contemplate their future, and one time he wondered if that would be possible. While his life is far from perfect, life is much brighter then it was prior to the past. Ken has a life again.
Well, Ken, this post brought me to my knees. Rarely are people comfortable to step out of their own skin to share on such a meaningful and deeply personal level -- and even rarer is it the case that a man will do so. You guys are different than we women folk. Telling us about the younger Ken has brought me to a deeper understanding of who you are and what you're all about. I always knew that you were caring and honest and funny; but I didn't know about the pain you've endured in your life, the physical and emotional pain you suffered as a morbidly obese man, especially as a man who used to be so physically active and experienced such joy in physical activity. I'm blathering...thanks for sharing this and thanks so, so much for always, always being there for us. Your presence on this board has meant the world to me. Stay close. Huge hugs -- Maureenie
I just kinda hit on some of the issues to give folks some idea of how I got to where I'm at, without being too boring.
In regards to my pain growing up, I could give you far more detail and horror stories but it would serve no purpose. I had a wonderful mother and credit her for keeping me from following in some bad footsteps. I also have the theory that my problems were no worse then others. At that time in your life, you play the cards dealt to you and we all had problems, not really worse, just different.
In regards to sharing, this is my safe haven. Very few people understand the blackness that being obese can bring on, and what light WLS surgery can bring. I also did if for me as a reminder. I'm one of those who was very fit, got fat, and now am getting very fit again. I also have to acknowledge that I have food issues. While my meals were larger then most, I had to realize I also used food to deal with pain, etc. I'm thankful I have a safe place to share and learn. You all inspire me too.
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