It Was Me

Well, here I am on Saturday night with just the animals keeping me company and they're none too thrilled about it. I was supposed to out with a girlfriend, but she had to have two teeth pulled in an emergency procedure this morning (Poor her). The Man got called out on an officer involved shooting so won't see him for another day or two. It's just as well that I'm all alone tonight. I now know where Saddam Hussein hid his weapons of mass destruction.... my intestines. For the last couple of days, I've been as bloated as I can be and I'm killing all who walk behind me. I have no idea what's causing this, but I got several exclamations of, "Oh my gawd, what is that?" as I walked through the grocery store tonight. It was me, me, me. I can usually control myself, but somewhere around the Crystal Lite I just decided to let it rip. I'm sorry that the public had to suffer for my comfort, but I was hurtin'. I have so much gas in me that I won't be surprised if I start to levitate. Maybe I should go weigh myself. I bet I float and my feet barely touch the scale. Hugs (but not too tight), Connie

Joy

Connie, Hope you are feeling better Thanks for the laugh!!! Julie

Hey, thanks for the laugh, I needed it!! but, all in all try some gasEX or something. There has to be something that you are eating different or consuming different that is causing the problem hope you can figure it out and change the situation before you kill someone with those things. (he he) Marilyn, the Bearlady

Ah.....Saturday night at the gas works.....What fun!!!! I wish that I knew what brings these attacks on Connie, because I have them too! Thursday night, for example, my wife made a stir-fried chicken and asparagus dish which I love and which we've had before. This time, for some reason, it felt like someone inflated the Goodyear Blimp in my innards! I was considering renting myself out to float above the Super Bowl if it didn't calm down. Of course, that night at work, it was "tubas" in the moonlight. As luck would have it, I had a field meeting that night to discuss a new installation with some of my night crew and our hardware management expert!! I had to bail out of the instrument house several times to save my co-workers. I'm sure that no pre-historic Wooly Mammoth ever trumpeted louder than me that night!! As I said, I've had that same dinner before with no trouble. It seems that our innards have good and bad days for no rhyme or reason. If you figure it out, Connie, please let us know.........You'll go down in Post-Op history as a Savior!!! Thanks as always for a good chuckle!! Mike

I know it is so funny how we all handle things like this. My husband is notorious of letting things rip so when I did one...and he was near..I let him take the blame.... I did apoligize to him later in private that it was me that let it rip. Sometimes there is just nothing can be done. They are sudden attacks and there is no stopping them. I have learned to keep a straight face and act like someone else was the culprit. Never prior to WLS did I have this issue.

Gosh, I get like that too and I have no idea what causes it. But, of course, I let them rip. Ray is really funny about it....he'll say...."honey, someone is talking behind your back" or if I'm in another room and he hears it he says...."say something, honey??" This is going to sound strange, but when I feel REAL gassy, I go in my room, close the door, get on all fours and rock back and forth. I just hate that feeling.... Don't take Gas Ex or Beano...I tried it and it actually makes me feel worse. Then, the gas is in there and won't come out. Break out the maternity clothes! Joan

I hear you on this one. But thanks for the great chuckle. We can always count on you for that. The other morning I was doing the weekly shopping and got the "walking farts", I was expelling with each step and could nothing to stop it. I was glad they were silent, but I rounded the corner and then remembered an item I failed to retrieve in the aisle I had just left. As I walked up to get my item I thought that the CIA may be contacting me as a Weapon of Mass Destructuion and then I over heard a woman tell her husband to stay with the cart because she was going to go change their baby because she could smell that he filled his diaper. I wanted to tell her to hold tight, it was just me filling my jeans.