the cookies won

i ate the cookies. those horrible sugar free snackwell shortbread cookies. i ate them the whole box. it took me 3 days but i ate them i was doing so good too. ok so its only a box of cookies but i felt like such a failure. all the excuses in the world doesn't matter i ate them. i'm back on track now working at trying to forgive myself for eating them. i'm more upset that i bought them and ate them all than not being good on my diet. i was within my calorie range that i needed to be. it was the addiction that called to me and i failed at. that addiction is just as bad health wise to me as any other addiction. people don't always understant a food addiction. they dont think of it as an addiction but it is. so i know i can not have those cookies in this house. i know i can not buy them because it won't be just one cookie. it won't be that i'll buy them and not eat them. i can not buy them at all. i can not go in the aisle that they are in at the grocery store. i will take it one step at a time and be strong. dam cookies.

You only lost one battle--not the war. As long as you are still fighting, the war is going in your favor. Hang in there! We all share the same struggle!

Pam, in our old life, we lived from the perch of the All Or Nothing sensibility; Mike used to post to this issue quite a bit, usually as admonition of some self-defeating behavior I was posting about. MICHAEL, I MISS YOU! You know I am right there with you on this, especially with the M&Ms (I hope to post to everyone tomorrow that I stayed away from them today - but the day is only half over!). Here's the difference: LIVING NORMAL (that's the name of the column I write for the magazine). We CAN indulge in these types of foods once in a while so long as doing so does not make us feel badly about ourselves! No shame, no self-loathing because we lack willpower, no regrets for being "bad", none of that. That's old stuff. To be truly Living Normal is to be able to enjoy a handful of M&Ms or a few Snackwell cookies, enjoy the moment, savor the taste, and then move on with the rest of our lives. Dina used to talk about this as well and she seemed to have a pretty good handle on Living Normal.. DINA, I MISS YOU! I firmly believe that when we are able to absolutely embrace the concept of Living Normal, we will then be able to practice it fully in our everyday lives. When this happens, your cookies won't control you...you will control them. Remember, that voice we hear screaming inside our heads is our own - no food demon taking residence in our brains, no Cookie Monster, no nasty M&M guy...that's us, our heads, our voices. Trying to sooth raging emotions that we have been programmed and conditioned to deal with in this manner. Food is sustenance. Food is energy. Food is LOVE, truly when you think about it. Hope this helps. I'm gonna go do my workout now and I hope to have a good one. Take care, sweetie. Reenie

Hmmm...a box of snackwell sugar free cookies in 3 days...lets do some damage control. A) How many cookies in the box? B) How many calories per serving? C) How many servings in the whole box? D) How many GOOD food choices did you make in those 3 days? (My guess is alot.) There usually isn't a lot of cookies in a box of those things. Remember the days of eating a bag of Chips Ahoy in ONE day? Sugar, fat and all? I don't buy cookies anymore because no one in the house wants to eat them. But, every now and then, I buy the 100 calorie portion controled stuff. They cost more than a bag or box of cookies, however, the extra money is worth it because the portion control is already there for me. Just think of all the good you've done. As far as the addiction is concerned, I feel it too....and I think it is worse than other addictions. As I said in a previous post, my gastro guy told me the success rate of WLS patients after 3 years DROPS to 20%. It's all about life changes...the changes we promised ourselves we would commit to before we had the surgery. Reenie talks about living normal...and I think that is exactly what you are doing. Identifying the weakness and working with it. YOU are holding your end of the deal to yourself...the life changes. You are doing great....keep up the amazing work. Love, Joanie

Hey Pam I agree with Joanie eating sugar free cookies is a whole lot better than the real things which I did the past couple of days along with M & M's Just because of garbage gone wrong. Today I starte over & has been a pretty good day mostly protein & very few carbs. If the only bad thng is a few cookies don't beat yourself up. Could be lots worse things out there to be addicted to. Mine is the high calorie coffee lattee's. Whic now with the new car will have to quit the $3.00 a day habit. NOw have car payments again. Have to make it a once a week thing instead of every day. That will be my treat & will probably start losing weight again. They were killing me. Keep smiling its all we have!! Marilyn, the Bearlady