TWO-YEAR ANNIVERSARY RALLY CHECK-IN
Thanks for your great responses, as always. I went home, did a few things and then crashed at 7:30 last night; slept through until 7:30 a.m. today...well, I woke up a few times throughout the night but blessedly was able to go right back to sleep each time. I feel refreshed -- think my system just bottomed out and crashed. As always, you're there when I need you...M.
I just wish I could give you a real hug! We are so much alike and travelling many of the same roads. Hang in there. The only thing certain in life is change. And sometimes it is for the better!
Sleep deprivation is a serious symptom of depression. I understand your hesitance to use sleep aids, but you must get sleep to be able to think and cope rationally. I find that ambien or a low dose anxiety drug (buspar or xanex) shuts down the racing mind. I don't want to get dependent, but on those rare occasions that I am having trouble for the second night in a row, I will use something to shut down the stress cycle. I also use the recliner at times. I don't know if it is the position or the quiet (away from Dan's snoring!), but it helps.
Anti depressants do not cause the groggy side effects that sleep aids do, and might alleviate your sleep problems and improve your relationship issues as well. Dan and I have decided we prefer each other on drugs--Prozak is our drug of choice and that, with therapy, has our marriage back on solid grounds. That is not the fix for everyone, but if you are depressed, you are not reacting rationally. The SSRI just corrects what is screwed up so you can think straight instead of living in an angry fog. (At least that is what it does for us). It rebuilds our coping mechanisms which were totally broken for a while.
Anyway, you are NOT alone. It has been a challenging 2 years, but I would not have missed this ride for anything!
Joy
Joy
Hi Reenie, Again!!
You seemed to have opened a big can of worms on this one!! I no that
you really don't want to get into drugs, however, if the depression is
a real cause of some of the underlying problems than you really should
re-consider that. Depression is a killer. I do not have a brother anymore
as depression caused him to kill himself. I am not saying this to hurt you
just to let you no that it is real & if not treated can be a killer.
With WLS patients the depression is a real problem & most of us are on some form of anti-anxeity meds. you might not even need very much of
it just the smallest dose. But these meds help so much & do not cause
additicion like sleeping pills will. Please re-think the drug issue & talk
to a therapist about it.
Enough for tonight.
Be good to yourself. We love you!!
Marilyn, the Bearlady 
As usual, I'm a day late and a dollar short on this thread where so many responded with such fabulous things to say. Again, Connie and Jen had a lot to say that hit home. Especially Connie's "Wherever you go, there you are." Happiness is a choice, I've discovered....and it's taken me a long time to figure that out. I'm not "there" with where I want to be yet, but I have learned, at least at work, to accept it for what it is and now enjoy it more than I ever have. That's saying a lot for me.
As for my marriage, well, it's still pretty muddy for me. I'm not sure what is going on in my life there or what will happen. But I'm taking it a day at a time and trying to just get space to figure it out.
The sleep? I'm lousy at that myself and the only thing that works for me is to get so incredibly sleep deprived that when I go to take a nap, I sleep for 9 hours....like I did yesterday. Hopefully you'll find something that works well for you because I sure haven't found it! 
Dina
Dina 
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