Success Stories?

Is anyone else experiencing this...? All of my doctors tell me that I'm their most successful wls patient. My chiropractor has 4 patients who have had wls and he tells me that no one else is doing nearly as well as me. My pcp tells me the same thing. The guy I'm dating says that he knows about 10 people who have had surgery and everyone other than me has had complications so he won't even consider it for himself. I hear all the time about people who have gained their weight back after a year. I don't think that I've done exceptionally well. I think I'm pretty average, but maybe I'm wrong. I think that all of us on this board, that I know of, have done pretty well. Are we the exception? Connie

Yes, I hear this from my PCP (although in rural CT, he has only had a handful of WLS patients); my surgeon, Dr. Aranow, has told me I am one of his most successful patients, but I think Mike and Pam (we share the same surgeon) have done every bit as well as I, so we three represent a cluster of his most successful patients. I DO see a LOT of regain and people doing desperate things to stop the pattern. Connie, I spend a lot of time reflecting on the journey (I know, Mike, I think too much!) and I can point to a few things that have moved me toward success...first and foremost, is education. Staying fully informed on what it is I need to do on an ongoing basis to maintain my weight loss; and then doing it. Simple, tried-and-true follow-through. Secondly, and equally important is support. Getting out of my head and sharing with people who understand and who can help -- this group, our Marchers, have been all that and more to me. My success is your success. I am so damned proud of every single word that has ever been posted to this group by everyone. Great post, I look forward to hearing other responses. Have a great day, all. Love, Maureen

Boy, I think back to when we were all still in active weightloss phase and all the tears and triumphs we went through. Do you remember, Maureen, how you used to think you were going to stop losing and that you felt like you were bingeing early on? I remember you fretting over eating a cookie one time and feeling like you ate too much. It really does my heart good to see you succeed like you have. I knew you would kick ass at this....but it took awhile for you to see it. I still think you fear yourself a bit more than you need to, but then sometimes a healthy dose of fear keeps us honest. I wish I had more fear because I fail in my eating way too often! I wish you and Connie were closer so you two could keep me in line! I need a keeper. Seriously!!! Dina

Yes, I remember, sweetie. This has been a real evolution for me - as for all of us -- learning to live differently. It's so simple but so complicated at the same time. I think I'm making progress and there but by the grace of God I have maintained my weight loss for the most part. Believe me, I have experimented with lots of food choices that had no business seeing the walls of my pouch! Each day brings a new start for making the right choices - for me, Dina, the key is to make choices built around good, solid health...not beauty, but feeling good. I have been as low as 141 and I felt really good at that weight, so my goal is to get back there as soon as my choices allow me to. The other mark of 135 is just a number -- right now. It will all depend on how I FEEL in terms of health and energy. You can do this, Dina, you are one of the strongest people on this board! If it's really, truly what you want, you will make it happen. I have no doubt whatsoever. Love you tons, Maureen

Well, I'm a far cry from being a star patient, that's for sure! I have to say though that I've been as complication free as anyone I know, so for that I am very thankful. Wish I could say I was a star pupil, but I lack motivation to keep up with exercise and stuff. I still believe in my deepest heart of hearts that I will eventually lose the 20 lbs, and maybe even 40, that I have a goal for. I'm not willing to say it's over yet. My honeymoon may be over, but not my transformation! You though - you and Maureen just blow me away. I am so proud of you both!!! Dina

Dina, I'm far from what I would consider a star patient so that's why it is so surprising to me that people think I've done so well. I drink with a straw, drink with my meals and have been lax about my water and vitamins off and on. My surgeon originally gave me a goal weight of 125, but I think she was smoking something when she said that. Her nurse thought I should be around 140 which is doable after plastics. I float in the 150's so I don't feel all that successful. I guess that's why I was posting the question. I've come a long way, but it surprises me that people think I'm the exception rather than the rule. This bothers me because I am concerned about people's perception of wls. It's a lifesaving surgery and I worry that people who would benefit don't have it because of misconceptions. I think you've done wonderfully, especially with that GIANT pouch of your. lol And I have to tell you that I think of you every morning when I drink my coffee! Hugs, Connie

Connie, you wrote: I've come a long way, but it surprises me that people think I'm the exception rather than the rule. This bothers me because I am concerned about people's perception of wls. It's a lifesaving surgery and I worry that people who would benefit don't have it because of misconceptions. I think there are two things going on. ONE: I think that our group here is SIGNIFICANTLY more motivated than the average wls patient. We put a lot out on this board, advice from all of our doctors, personal experiences, moral support. I don't see it on other boards, and if you don't see it on the other boards at a self-help website, (which you'd expect to attract people who have at least a modicum of motivation), then I think the conclusion is that most people are not as motivated as us. Do you know anyone else *****AD BOOKS before surgery? I read three. I met with three different surgeons/teams before I selected mine. I went to the support group of a fourth surgeon, as well as the one affiliated with the hospital of the surgeons I chose, AND a 'non-denominational' support group (not affiliated with a surgeon) for MONTHS before I had my surgery. And we also put a lot into the ongoing maintenance end -- look at all the posts we have where we probe into the things that drove us to extreme eating in the first place, or the healthy coping mechanisms we are building into our lives now. I have reached out to so many people who were scheduled for surgery, both with my surgeons and others, but I have found you can't lead a horse to water. Maybe the obstacle is that it's near impossible to lead a depressed horse to water... when you wake up in the morning unhappy, listless, miserable, without hope (yes I still wake up that way sometimes, maybe once every three months, and it scares the (*&T out of me), it's like a flashback.. It is a complex situation, obesity, and it weighs down so much more than just the physical. TWO: It's horrible but there are entire industries out there extorting money by keeping fat people just fat enough to be sick without dying.. look at how spotty insurance coverage for the surgery is! And that's probably a smaller industry than those who make their money off the 30-45 BMI range... health clubs, diet ("low fat" high sugar) food manufacturers, fat-girl clothes stores with a captive clientele, diet pills, workout tapes, diet journals, fads... It's not just the industries either it is also their customers. People WANT to believe in that stuff. It is difficult to face that you're abusing yourself, that you have a problem, that it is so serious that you could be one of those people that has to have surgery. Plus people who are pyschologically threatened by the idea of an external limit on their eating. Or, people who ascribe to the "easy way out" theory regarding surgery. All of these people, subconsciously probably, have reasons to distrust, disparage, disinform, or buy into disinformation. I'm not fat enough to need SURGERY! Just a few months of TrimSpa! Or a Bally's membership for Christmas! And there is still the bias against fat people.. even the formerly fat. Ever look at a new skinny aquaintance's face when you show them your "before" pictures? Well, I know Al Roker had surgery but I don't know any actual news anchors that did - so the stories are being reported on by people with perhaps less empathy, more disdain. Just my thoughts on it. There are a lot of internal and external forces affecting the population that would benefit from surgery. I thank God that I am on my way out of that dark wood, try to be available as a resource to anyone that could benefit from my experience, and basically have to leave it up to God somehow show others. You can't teach people who don't want to learn, who aren't ready yet - something happened for us, something 'clicked' - so I just pray that the clicking happens for more of our people. Good topic. -Jen

Now that's the old Jen that I love and admire! You really should be thinking about a career in counseling, Jen, or becoming a motivational speaker. I just want to say that I absolutely agree that this board is unique - and I think given the fact that Mike, Pam and I share the same surgeon, as well as this board, is a testament to the power of support. Please, folks, stay close. Don't stray too long, or too far. Thanks, Jen. We will have to plan to meet someday -- soon! Love, Maureen

As we approach our two year anniversary, you can be considered a star pupil. I too get told that I am doing far better then "so and so" who had the surgery. While I'm far from perfect at all times with food choices and I fail to keep up on the vitamins, my doctor does consider me to be one of his better patients. That fact remains that this surgery was but a tool. It has been proven that you can mess it up. I think the one thing reason that I am considered a "sucess story" is that besides just the weight loss, I have so radically altered my life. Even when I was in shape in college, I could have never run a 5K, but I have now completed numerous ones. Point being, we can all look at our failings, but sometimes it is nice to look back to see just how far we have come. Pat yourself on the back ( now that you can actually finally do it) you deserve any and all of the praise you have received.