CHALLENGE UPDATE

Well, I'm certainly not going to make my goal of getting under 140 by August 1st. But I'm trying not to beat myself up about it. Staying focused on the more critical aspects of my journey that need my immediate attention: 1. Why have I lost my edge in working out? I just feel zapped, no energy, feel so, so tired all the time. I go out to do my workout and end up barely walking a half mile. I am just plain pooped. It's showing around my belly, even though I haven't gained weight in the numbers on the scale, my tummy tuck just doesn't look the same - is this going on for anyone else? The lower part of my abdomen is still flat and taught, but the upper part between my navel and breasts is flabby so when I sit down I have a real roll of flab in that area. I saw the plastic surgeon who did all my work and he said, "oh, everyone has a roll." I asked if he could do lipo to get that area firm and flat again and he said no, that there was nothing there to extract--no fat, just loose skin. Well, hello!!! Why didn't he take care of all the loose skin when he did the work? So I'm really bummed about this--that area makes me look fat again, even though I've not gained weight. I'm still in size 6 pants but that roll is very evident. 2. Then there are the M&Ms - I can't quiet the screaming voice in my head for those M&Ms. There's a woman at work who has one of those M&M dispensers in a very public place for anyone to grab a fistful of the damned candy. I'm up to about 3 or 4 fistfuls a day. I can't stand it! I feel out of control with it. So, I'm not going to make my goal and I'm really heading down a very dangerous slippery path that leads directly to weight regain. Consider this an SOS my friends, any help is greatly appreciated. Reenie

REALITY CHECK, Girlfriend! Did you keep a pair of pants from before WLS? I hope so--I did. Go try them on NOW. Your expectations are not realistic. Hate to break it to you, but none of us is going to wind up with a PERFECT body. If we did we would not be normal! Our goal is for a NORMAL body and a NORMAL life. The pursuit of perfection is what got us into the obesity cycle in the first place. (Look where it took Michael Jackson!!) Your M&M obsession is coming from the belief that "If I can't be perfect I might as well give up". This is self destruction (as you know). My prescription for you... Today, I want you to notice a physical inperfection in EVERYONE you see, especially those you admire most, and think about how it does not change how you feel about them. When you are drawn to the M&M's or other guilt producing behavior, give yourself permission to do it AFTER you do something physical--even if it is just 3 brisk laps around the office and some leg lifts under the desk. Then really ask yourself if you still want it and if the answer is "Yes", make do with less. That little roll does not diminish the power of your gifts at all (encouragement, singing), and maybe helps the resonance. It definitely helps you to relate to the rest of us who are less than perfect! Love you friend! Joy

First of all think of that song by James Blunt. Your beautiful. Then look at the women your age. LOOK HERE LOOK HERE!!!! We women who have hit the late 40's and up and are also struggling with pre or regularu menopause usually have some kind of roll to go along with it. ARen't we lucky. We get rid of one monthly nightmare and pick up a roll. We also gain hot flashes. Don't get me started! You are tiny. you are itsy bitsy. Like Joy I kept a pair of old pants. Yikes I could litterally put me and another person in them. Ok so that makes me realize were I've come from. Then I hold them up to a pair of my now pants. That takes me to where I am. Where I am going is the next step and theres no way to find that unless it is within. You are not alone. Having the surgery gave you a tool. Unfortuantely it we didn't have lobotomys that would help to cue the head. Its the head that is calling you to the M&M's. My head calls for sugar free snackwell shortbread cookies. It calls for them on a daily basis. Its been over a week now and I've not caved in for them yet. maybe what we all need to do is take a look at what our head is calling for. Acknowledge it and then work at keeping it at bay. Without knowing it I did what Joy had just recomended to you about the m's. Yesterday when I was out on the road driving around I had a craving to beat all cravings for those dam cookies. My head was listening and it also was telling me that I'd been so good I've lost 5 pounds (YES!!!!!) that just having 3 which is a serving and is only 150 calories and I've worked so hard and they would well be in my allowed amount of calories for the day...are YOU listening Reenie? My head was being BAD! I got to the point where when I passed the stop & shop I pulled inparked and went into the store! All while one side of my head was saying go on pick them up buy them eat them the other side was saying wait amintue... yes you have done good. if you eat these cookies they aren' talo tof calories but will you stop at 3? no! Geesh this all happened in a matter of minutes but to type it takes way to long! i ended up getting 10 cherrys instead and a atkins protein bar. Now while the calories I consumed on those cherrys and the bar were more they were better for me than the cookies. I would have eaten alot more of the cookies and I would ahve eaten them all within just a days time. I'm not perfect. I will eat the cookies again someday. Giving myself the ok to acknowledge that I amnot giving them up totally that I will have them some day is ok. If I tell myself I'll nver eat them again I'm kidding myself and I'm also setting myself up to be in a panic cause I really like those cookies. so its ok to say someday just not right now. Does any of that make any sense? I guess we all have our own ways of working with this and what I do might not be right for you or anyone else but I know you read all of thse and appreciate what we all have to say. Just like the rest of us appreciate you, and we apprecaite joy, and we apprecaite connie, marilyn. and all the other sisters and brothers in GBS.

Ya No Reenie your lack of energy could be from a magnesium shortage. If you are not taking it, start. It helped my energy levels quite a bit. I have also been reeding about it, that it hits a lot of women around our age. It is not something that Doc's see up front. So if you don't take it, start Or take more of it. They say that in the heat and warmer weather it acts like those type of things you are talking about. I agree here, that you a a beautiful person & very strong part of this board & yes, our cheering section, so DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP!! God Loves you & so do we, so start loving yourself. I tell myself this daily to reinforce it, so start doing it!! It's hard to love ourselves, but, it is starting to make a difference in my attitude & it will yours. Love you Mariyn, the Bearlady

Reenie.... Come over here. No, closer... Now let me smack you. Have you forgotten where you've come from? Good Lord woman. You are harder on yourself than anyone else and I think you need to cut yourself some slack. If that was someone else's roll, you'd be telling them not to sweat it and focus on something else, right? Give yourself the same sage advice. You need to be just as kind and nurturing to yourself as you are to the rest of us. Last week, one of my staff brought in a ginormous bag of candy and sat it on a filing cabinet outside of my office. It was a daily battle not to eat those damned tootsie rolls and I wasn't always successful. I moved the bag and said, "Look, I've got no willpower and you people have to keep this stuff away from me." One of my skinny geeks looks at me in all seriousness asks, "Why not? Why don't you have any will power." I resisted all urges to kick him in the shins, flip him off and fire him, in that order. I said, "It's a birth defect. I was born that way. Don't know why and if you figure out the answer, you'll be a very wealthy man." Long and short of it is that we moved the candy off the beaten path and for me, out of sight is out of mind. At first, I struggled with moving the candy because after all, it's my issue, not the staff's. It's not their responsibility to accomodate my food addction. I finally decided that I just wasn't winning the Tootsie Roll war and needed a different tactic. I'm not going to feel bad about my lack of resistance, it is what it is. In the end, several people thanked me for moving the candy because they were having the same struggle. So in my long-winded way, I guess I'm suggesting that you ask M&M Woman if you can move the candy or maybe you can substitute something healthier once in a while. My Admin Assitant sometimes brings in a big bowl of grapes and sets them up on the counter instead of candy. As for the lack of energy, I'm going through the same thing. I've upped my B-12 to every other day and that seems to help. I'm going to take it everyday and see if that helps even more. I know my exhaustion is from work and keeping up with life in general. It can't possibly be because I just turned 47. Perish the thought. Love ya huge, Connie