Hip Hip Away!

I LOVE shopping! A couple of days ago I went to Dillard's to get a blouse to go with a blazer I have. I was in a hurry so showed the blazer to the saleswoman and asked her to help me find something that matched. She came back with a blouse and said they were out of small, would a medium be OK. I refrained from kissing her. I'm still so surprised when people don't see me as a big girl. I was doing some Christmas shopping yesterday at one of the doorbuster sales in a store without shopping carts and had a long wait in line for the cashier. I had my arms full of purses, socks, a table top wine opener, a gift basket of bath stuff and maybe even some gifts for other people, when I came across a display of cookware sets. My son is using my old pots and pans and I thought it would make a great gift for him so I scooted a big box containing a ten piece set of cookware, plus a bonus cutting board, plus a bonus roasting pan and rack, plus a bonus knife set, plus a utensel set (you get the idea) towards the cash register. When I finally got checked out, the woman asked if I needed help out and I said yes. She called sporting goods and tried to get someone to come up to help carry this big box, but was having trouble locating someone. I told her it was OK and I could do it myself. She tried to argue with me, but I didn't want to wait so I grabbed my purse, the big bag of smaller items and balanced that big box of cookware on my right hip like it was a baby and took two steps. That's when the box came sliding down my leg. Hmmmm.... I've been carrying things on my hips for years... Babies, boxes, potted plants... I hoisted everything up again and headed off. This time I made it as far as the back of the line when the box slid down again. By now, all the bored people in line are watching the show. I pick up the box again and realize... I don't have ginormous hips to balance stuff on anymore! I turn to the last woman in the line and said, "I forgot that my hips are gone." She smiles, nods and looks at me as if I've been hitting the Egg Nog at 8:00 a.m. Plan B. I set the bag of stuff on top of the box and pick the whole thing up to carry in front of me. I try to rest the box on my belly and it drops to the ground. (The box, not the belly.) I tell the poor woman in line, "Oh yeah, I forgot that I don't have a belly either." She steps away from me as if I'm contagious. I struggled out of the store, grinning like the cat that ate the canary. Almost two years later and I'm still surprised at the changes in my body. I still marvel at the new me. Big, big hugs, Connie

Ah yes.....Ain't it just marvelous to make these little discoveries?? I still find myself turning sideways to squeeze by people in narrow spaces when it's now totally unnecessary! I always get odd looks for that one. I still sit in the end seat in the row at movie theaters so that I can leak out into the aisle without bothering the person sitting next to me.....totally unnecessary. The list just goes on. Isn't life great??!! Thanks for the reminder, Connie. Mike

Connie, you are such a hoot. I so enjoy your postings. Yesterday I had to dress up a little as I was playing photographer with my digital camera for a friend at work as she was getting married. I had worn all my black slacks and had brown or tan in my closet. Low and behold, nothing matched to go with the pants but a zip up sweater. So today I talked myself into going shopping for me at Catos. I bought 5 tops with long sleeves to match brown and beige slacks. I did nothave to try on anything. It was great. And I got it all off the sale rack!!!!!!!!!!!!! Last several years that would have not happened. It is great as we go on now and make all these discoveries.

Yes, We havemissed your stories. How great they are!! After the lousy day I had (fight with my Mom on the phone) She is my only friend these days & I sure don't want her pissed at me. Your story was great release & made me smile. Thanks. Marilyn, the Bearlady

I love to read your stuff. It always brings a smile to my face. We all seem to have a roll here, and I so appreciate what you bring to the table. To add to it, I too got a little boost of image. My nephew was playing for the Naitional Championship with his football team this weekend. I didn't attend the school he plays for, but several of my relatives did. Anyway, we were having a party to watch the game and my sister-in-law bought me a shirt for the occasion. She handed me a large and said, "I hope this isn't too big." Man, in the past I need enough X's in front of the L of a shirt that "Deep Throat" looked like a Disney movie compared to my shirt size. The large fit just fine thank you, and my nephew played well and his team won. A win-win situation.