THIS MUST STOP RIGHT NOW!!!!!

I am not going to do this to myself again!! I've put on a few pounds lately as I've mentioned in other postings and it's going to stop here and now!! I haven't come all of this way to slide back into my old, self destructive ways. I know from your posts that many of you are dealing with these same issues. I also suspect that there are many others who are too ashamed to "Fess Up" and are lurking instead of posting......you know who you are. I am now openly declaring to all of you that I am going to stop this trend right now. If I don't declare it openly, I fear that I'll just keep sliding down the slippery slope. I AM NOT GOING TO FIT INTO THOSE JUMBO JEANS AGAIN (the ones that I keep around as a reminder)!!!! I am going to get back on track one small step at a time. Here's what I've done so far: Last night at work, I stayed away from the snack machine for the first time in months. I'm going to stop carrying change to help me continue this. This morning I ate a proper breakfast of fruit and fat-free cottage cheese. The only snack I will eat between now and bed time (don't forget I work nights) is a low fat cheese stick. My aim is to get through 24 hours of proper eating. I will then try to follow it up with another 24 hours and so on. I've noticed that in addition to snacking and grazing, my portions have been gradually getting larger all of the time. This too is at an end. I'm back to measuring my portions carefully. I've been doing OK with the exercise, but I'm still going to try to do better. I'm trying to keep up the liquid intake and most days I'm doing OK with this. Now for the good news...... I visited my WLS surgeon a few weeks ago for my 18 month post-op visit (a bit late due to scheduling problems). He's very pleased with how I'm doing and my blood work was perfect. Despite the fact that I'm 5-8 lbs heavier than my lightest weight, I'm still 6 lbs lighter than I was at my 1 year post-op visit. I look at this surgery as my last hope, and I'll be damned if I'm going to fail this time. In addition to what I've started, I'm also going to look into the books which Karen has mentioned in her recent posts. I'll do anything to keep from wearing those jeans again. If they ever become anything but a novelty in my life, I don't know if I could live with myself. I sure don't want to find out!! Well Marchers......there it is for all the world to see....... I'm going to beat this thing and I invite any and all of you to join me. I hope for your continued support and offer mine to you. THE BUCK STOPS HERE!!!!!!!! Mike

Mike, I am going to join you in this endevor. I too am having a beastly time trying to keep from continuing to gain (I have gained 10lbs back in the last 2 months). From here on out will stop allowing things in my life that I cannot control control what I put in my mouth. This does not include just food but alcohol as well. I am having a hard time controling that, and it is dangerouse path for me to travel down as I come from a very long line of alcoholics on both sides of my family and have had issues with it myself in the past. So no more excuses for self medicating!! As soon as I get off this computer I am going down to the garage where we have moved all my work out equipment (home gym and treadmill, see I have no excuse to not excersise) and uncover them from all the junk that is currently keeping me from getting to them. I am going to spend 1/2hour on the treadmill running and re-start a weight training regiment. I am also going to start using my FITDAY program to track all my food and vow to keep my calories to 1000-1200 per day, and am going to make an appointment with my nutritionist for a consult, as well as an appointment with a therapist to get to the bottom of my fear of failure (this keeps me from ever finnishing what I start and from starting things I don't think I will finnish), and to get a grip on the food and alcohol issues from the mental side. And lastly I am going to start keeping a journal so that I have a place to go and write down all my fears, hopes and dreams so that I have a record to look back on so that when the tough times come again, and they will (life is very cyclical) I can re-read the entries and know that things will get better and that what ever is going on is just temporary. So, Mike I am with you.........THE BUCK STOPS HERE!!!!! Leslie

Hi Leslie, I read your post to Mike and felt I just had to respond to you. I developed an alcohol problem gradually over the past year. Although I had never had a problem pre WLS, it eventually became a daily occurance. I stopped losing weight (didn't gain) and was mad that I now had a problem. I kept telling myself it wasn't a problem. It was. I took my last drink of wine in August. Now, if I am in a social situation where it becomes difficult to celebrate without alcohol, I order an O'Douls non-alcoholic beer! It is only 58 calories, no sugar and I can only drink one due to the slight carbonation. But at least I FEEL like I am partying. It has really helped me to be successful in abstaining from alcohol. Maybe it would help you, too. Sutter Home makes a non-alcoholic wine, too. I thank God that it didn't grow into the problem it did with others in my family in the past. Good Luck! Hugs, Karen

Hi Leslie; It's great to hear from you again. I'm happy to have you joining me in my efforts to get back on track. It sounds like you have a good plan and I'll be glad to encourage you on your way. I think that a lot of us have gotten off track and need to get out of the drainage ditch and back on the road. I haven't had the alcohol trouble since surgery, but I can feel your pain there too. I think that the only reason I don't have trouble with drinking now is that I drank a lifetime's worth of alcohol when I was younger and I just plain got bored with it!! I just loved to party and it just added more weight to an already over-loaded body. Anyway, I think that your idea of keeping a journal is a good one. I'd like to try, but I never have the self-disipline to keep at it. Please stay in touch and lets try to work together on this project. Mike

Okay Mike , I'm with you , lets just take one day at a time and it will be easier than trying to fix the rest of our lives in one day !! Thanks for your support to all of us . Judy

OK Judy...... I'm glad to have you with me. It seems so simplistic to say, but one day at a time is the only way to tackle this problem. You are absolutely right in that we can't fix our lives in one day!! Thanks for sharing your wisdom and we'll work on this together. Please stay in touch. Mike

Mike count me in! I've been lucky so far but I watch it tightly. I read all the posts and I see me in many of them. I'm fearful of gaining back a single pound. I had gotten alittle slack with some things. Knowing is 1/2 the battle right? Where do we but that buck???

Hi Pam; You are so right! Knowing is half the battle. I'm glad that you haven't back-slid the way I have.....what are you doing to keep yourself on track?? I am determined not to sabotage myself the way I had done in the past. I appreciate your support. Mike

Hi Mike! Way to go!!! I am so proud of you! I think you will find those books I suggested to be amazingly helpful. I am with you all the way! I haven't exercised since my plastic surgery in September (lower body lift) but have been given the go ahead from my surgeon. It sure is hard getting back into it again! I had gained about 15 pounds before plastics and then lost about 20 from surgery. So I, too, know how easy it is to graze and gain weight. Keep us posted! Karen

Thanks Karen; I appreciate your support and hope that you stay with us on this board. I checked your profile......you look wonderful! You've done a great job and have a lot to be proud of. I know that exercise is hard to get psyched up for, but I'm convinced that it is essential to continued sucess. As I mentioned in my other recent posts, with the way I've been grazing lately, the exercise is the only reason I haven't put on a lot more weight than I have. I wish you continued success and hope that you continue sharing your experiences with us. Mike