asking for help...kick me....

ok-this is me...i am 20 months out from my open rny--i had lost about 70# (needing to just lose 100) when my DH became quite ill last spring. my emotional/stress eating took over and i have regained 25 #. i am still able to squeeze into my 14's tho i had been close to getting into the 10's. thank God, my DH survived and is ready to start a new chapter-including more surgery coming soon-life as we knew it has changed considerably. i was walking everyday and had actually started to run; i was still losing and doing well- due to money i had not joined a gym or curves--then i fell back into the stuffmyfacewithanythingnottieddown mode- now-i am finding many days i am no longer grazing (YEA!) and i still know what i am sposed to do-- i have not had any pop/i do ocassionally chew gum just to keep my mouth busy/ i don't dump on a lot of things that i sure thought i would. i am keeping up with my vitamins and calcium...my labs continue to be good-almost high range in some places! so i am not a total loss.... **********where i need help is this--please kick me in my butt--help me to re-motivate myself....would i maybe be better to go back to the beginning stages of my post wls days and do liquids??? get my butt back to moving-things have been good to just get up and go to work everyday-no time or money for a gym or "Y" membership-and now it's snowy and yucky-well starting-the stationary bike isn't cutting it....does anyone have some walking dvd's they would send me cheap??? *******************i basically need a swift kick in the a** and a big pep talk....*************** please tell me that i am not alone in this one....it has become so tuff to come to the boards and read of everyone's successes--i was so much on track i shoulda been there! and i know that my cir****tances were serious and i do thank God for allowing my DH to be here with me- and i know that we are not supposed to compare ourselves to anyone or anything-please help me to get refocused........and ,yes, i DO feel so much better even at this weight and i understand that it is numbers on the scale-but- i really need ,for my mental health, to get down farther. thanks for listening...let the pep talks begin.

Margo, I am sure you are reading about everyone else's struggles these days and so you certainly must know you are not alone. Life will continue to happen for all of us. We must learn to take care of ourselves through the good and the bad of it and not use food as our coping mechanism because it is every bit as harmful as any other substance of choice, including drugs and alcohol, to get through the tough times. Would you choose liquor to cope? Would you drink yourself into a stupor to get through it? Would you shoot up with heroine or cocaine to cope? Of course not. So why do we abuse ourselves likewise with food? Why do we think it's ok, it's not harmful, it's just food? Is it just food when we get to be so heavy we can't walk and our hearts beat against our chests in sheer effort? Is it just food when we have absolutely no quality of life for ourselves or the people who love us? It's not just food when we use it to soothe our raging emotions. It is a drug, it is addictive and the only way to deal with it is to get help with it. I wish I had the answers, my friend. We are at a different place than we were a year ago; it's more difficult and more important to make the right choices and follow through. I wish I could be of more help but the bottom line is we are the only ones that can help ourselves. I am, however, in your corner, every step of the way. Best of luck. Maureen

Hi Margo, Here is your kick in the you-know-what I agree with Reenie, you are for sure not alone in the fight of your life. We all seem to be having stresses lately & we do have to fight those urges to eat whenever we want to. That is the key to keeping the weight off is when you go for that food you are eating. You have to ask are you really hungry or just grabbing to quickly satisfy a quick emotion. Yes, we can all eat just about anything right now. & that will scare anyone, & if it doesn't tha I want to know how they do it!! You have to start getting some exercise & if you don't want to walk outside in the snow, than you have to do it inside. Leslie Samson has a walk video for over 40 that I used for a long time. It finally broke, but, she is very good, & you should be able to find her tapes at Wal-mart, K-mart or a target in your area. (they are not too expensive either around 6$ It is a good 40 minute workout & real easy to follow. Hang in There, You know what you are doing wrong that is a good step. You are also not too far gone to turn it around. Do not go back to liquids, but, you should be adding some kind of protein shakes into the equasion. Are you eating mostly protein & few carbs. That has helped me get back on track. I also added more water back in,, I was not drinking enough. Hope this helps you somewhat. Don't go away, We will help you through this as well as we can. We are all with you in this struggle. This board is awesome & won't let anyone down. Lots of Love Marilyn, the bearlady

Hi Margo, See my reply post to Judy on the same day as your post. Consider buying the "Don't Diet, Live It" Workbook from Amazon.com. It is amazing and very helpful in getting a handle on our emotions and how they relate to our compulsive eating patterns. If you have support group meetings in your area, they can be a great source of comfort. I attended the Obesity Help Convention in New Jersey last May and Dr. Terry Simpson lectured there. One thing I learned it that many post-ops who start re-gaining weight seem to all have the same pattern.....we start eating a lot more soft, mushy, comforting foods instead of focusing on dense foods that require chewing and stick with us longer. Perhaps you could avoid soup (like eating and drinking at the same time) unless it is a stew, yogert, hot cereal, puddings, pastas, etc. You get the picture. He has published a wonderful workbook called "Getting to Goal and Staying There" written for post-ops who are farther out who either still need to get to goal or those who are struggling to keep at goal weight. Go to www.obesitydr.com and you can order it there. He also has a great book called "Losing the Last 30 Pounds" that is good. He is a bariatric surgeon who writes articles for the Obesity Help Magazine. Let us know how you are doing. You are important to me. I hope I have been able to help. Karen S.

Hi Margo; All you need to do is read some of the recent posts on this board to see that you are not alone. A great many of us are struggling with the same issues that you are. As for the kick in the butt......Maybe we should all get together and line up in a circle and take turns kicking the one in front of us. A circular butt-kicking....... what a great video that would make!! We're with you, Margo, and hopefully together we will conquer the demons!! Mike