Back in the land of the living

Hello!!!!! I've missed you all so much. My son's computer has been broken and I've not been able to get on line for a long time. Probalby only 2 weeks but it seemed like years. I couldn't wait to see how everyone has been. The shakey leg thing sometimes bothers me sometimes doens't. for me its more of if i've had too much sugar or not enough potasium. connie your picture looks awesome! good luck with the police officer. i'd like to do a TT someday but my insurance won't cover it and its not real high on my list of prioritys. there is a doctor in NOrwich CT who does TT very well known with a very good record who will work payments with people. I think I'd like to talk to him about my goggler under my chin. That I'd save up and buy! At least that seems to be the thing that is bothering me right now. The other stuff doens't. Reenie, is it Dr A who told you about eating the 6 meals a day instead of 3 because of the low blood sugar? I had read about that along time ago and have found that works for me the best. O I have a friend in my fire dept who is leaving on friday to go help out in New Orleans! He's very excited but also nervous about being so far away from home. they've told him to expect to be gone 30 to 120 days with probalby at least 90 days gone. he feels badly to be gone for the holidays and leaving his wife at that time but she understands. I"m doing pretty good right now other than i'm all of a sudden hungry. sometimes i feel like i could eat a horse. i am still weighing and measuring things that i eat and hope that that will help to control the craziness. i'm sstill at 157-158 that one or two pounds that i'll play with are still being played. someday i'd like to get to 150. i think i'm going to try the program that mariyln talked about. things are still iffy with my boyfriend. he's such a good man but we just seem to be more of just really good friends. i'm having a hard time dealing with that. i dont know what to do. well i do know what i need to do but thats were i'm having the hard time. i guess its not always WLS that is on our minds...

Pamela - So many things I want to respond to here but need to condense, so the thing that stands out the most to me right now is right at the end of your post about your boyfriend. I'm struggling right now in my marriage as many know, and one of the problems is that we were best friends to the exclusion of others when we first got together. The sparks weren't really there, but I didn't notice it so much because the emotional attachment was strong. Now that the years have heaped on it's share of destruction, and we ended up losing our friendship, there was nothing left to hold us together. From my personal experience I would say to listen to your gut instinct here and don't compromise. If you aren't feeling the passion, you might want to give that a lot of consideration. You could end up regretting it later. Things happen that we cannot control that cause people to lose their communication skills sometimes. When you lose that and you are subsisting in a relationship based on friendship, well, you have nothing left to tide you over. That's what I'm discovering. In fact, right now I have agreed to hold off on the divorce and we are going to do the counseling thing. I don't "feel" it in my heart but am willing to try only because my counselor says it can be better than it ever was and I can find the passion. I don't necessarily believe it but I'm going to try. But it is very hard to not just check out right now. So listen to your inner voice and consider long term what would happen if you grew distant. Take care of yourself - glad you could check in! Dina

Hi Pam, Glad to hear from you & yeah the boyfriend thing I can relate to as well. Someday are real good with mine & then others I could go live in a cave just fine. At least you don't have to deal with a drunk. Mine is working on that, but, he has a long way to go before he has it unde complete omission. I am going to do the protein & veggie thing for a while & see what happens. Go back to the measuring. I might have to adjust it ot 4 meals instead of 3 though with going back to Graveyard next week. Glad you are O.K & Hang in there, your weight seems to be just fine & holding steady That is sure a good thing at this point. Marilyn, the Bearlady

Hi, Pam - no, the conversation I had was with my regular (PCP) doctor. I've been with him for years and he has been incredibly supportive of the whole WLS journey, in fact, he has boned up on all things related to WLS because I am his patient! He tells me that he has other patients who have had the surgery but none have met with the same level of success and a great percentage of them are regaining their weight very quickly. I am so frightened of that scenario!!! Sometimes I lay in bed all night and think, think, think about it, about the what ifs....especially when I've had a bad day of eating, which is getting more and more frequent. As for the relationship issue, married or not, a significant other is a significant other and looking at that relationship square between the eyeballs is a difficult, painful process. I truly do wish I could walk away from my marriage, amicably and in the spirit of friendship because it is just so empty for me. I'm just not ready...sometimes I truly wish that I would meet someone else with whom I would fall passionately in love and have that passion reciprocated - I think that would make the decision much easier...then again, other days I think who needs it? Who needs a relationship, sex, googoo eyes, any of it, all of it -- I just want to be left alone! Complicated stuff. All of it very painful, stressful and exhausting. As you and Dina -- as those of us who find ourselves in this situation -- wade through the muck of it all, we have to remember that we're moving toward something...surrounding every body of muck there is terra firma. Keep wading, my friend, keep moving forward. Love, Maureen

Hi Pam and welcome back! Your post has certainly brought out a lot of deep thinkiing in our Marcher community. No suprise here, because there's no lack of deep thinkers around here. As a matter of fact, I've been thinking of posting some long-winded blather on the subject...... maybe I will do so soon. We all seem to have lots of issues over and above the weight thing and having a group like this to air them out is priceless!!! I've been having the same issue with static or creeping weight. One thing that I've noticed, is that I've been indulging in "Portion Creep" lately since I haven't been religiously measuring. I'm trying to get back to measuring portions to see what happens. As for the relationship issues.....Only you can decide if this relationship works for you. I would, however encourage you to make every effort to fix things before making a final break. If there is enough good there to have you undecided, maybe the bad is worth fixing. Sometimes, its worth some hard work to make a go of it. Of course, some relationships must be broken......especially the abusive ones, so all the counselling in the world is a waste of time,money and effort......only you can decide. I've been blessed in that I'm still married to my best friend after 24 years. Having said that, I must add that there have been lots of times where we could have parted and it took lots of hard work and compromise to get us through. I don't see how 2 people can co-exist without friction. The secret seems to be to find a partner who can help you keep the positives in focus and the negatives in the background. I don't have anything to say about the TT, because I have no experience there yet myself. All I can say is that I hope things work out to make you happy with your choices. In any case, I wish you nothing but the best!! Mike

Pam's back!!! I love your posts and look forward to them. I miss you when you're not here. I still don't have the food thing under control and my pouch continues to confuse me. Last night I went over to my Dad's for dinner. Scratch that, I picked up dinner on the way to my Dad's house. I made good choices for protein with Italian meatloaf, calamari and squash, but I was amazed at how much I ate. It wasn't as much as a normal person could eat, but it sure seemed like more than I should have been able to eat. Looking at it realistically, it was probably 4 ounces of protein and then the vegetables, but it just seemed like a lot. For breakfast this morning, I couldn't finish one little egg. What's up with that? By the time I was done at the gym, I was starving and came home and put away two pieces of fish with no problem. I just can't seem to get the rhyme or reason behind the quantities I can eat at any given time. I'm still fighting with my insurance company about the tummy tuck. I'm on my final appeal. They keep insisting it's cosmetic and I keep insisting they're full of crap. I don't know what to tell you about the boyfriend because we all know I have a faulty man picker. Hugs, Connie