SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT...
... as you start your new work week. I need to post something positive since I had a very bad "food" weekend, but am pulling myself together. The weekends are just very difficult for me. Anyway, so I'm in rehearsal yesterday afternoon (we're doing a benefit gala performance fundraiser for Katrina) and I had an idea that I started to share with the director. He got excited and I got more excited and suddenly I found myself -- jumping! Like a 7th grade cheerleader and without premeditation, my little feet simply responded to a signal from my brain that demanded I -- jump -- an action that supported my giggly, girlish feelings in that moment. I had to stop myself because I couldn't believe it, I couldn't believe my feet were really clearing the floor. Immediately, my mind was flooded with memories of my 360 lb. self, a woman who could barely walk let alone think about jumping. I remembered her and in my mind, I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her very tightly and whispered to her, "Look, we're jumping..." And I jumped. I was gone, retreated into a place that belonged to just the two of us and I held her very tightly and jumped, 6, 8, 10 times in quick succession, with each jump slightly higher than the last. And then I let her go and my surroundings came flooding back to me, the sounds and smells and sights of artists creating a story of strength and support through music. My soul was at peace for the first time this weekend. And when I came home I dug down deep into the vast box of the unwanted that resides in our garage, I burrowed with the frantic fever of a hungry dog, I dug and dug deep into that box until my fingers found what they were looking for. And I yanked and tugged until the thing was set free. My jump rope - purchased a few years ago by a 360 lb. woman who thought what a fun way to exercise and get some of this weight off. Her feet could not leave the ground, she tried to jump but literally could not do it and the rope was discarded in the box of the unwanted. I curled my fingers around the handles and went out into what was left of a damp and cool New England day and I jumped, 6, 8, 10 times in quick succession. Sophie barked and nipped at the rope as it whizzed high above my head and down to and then under my elevated feet, oh, how she wanted to play. Me too. I want to play, I want to live and love and laugh and be happy....for now, for just this moment, I can do all of that, feel all of that by -- jumping. Love to you, my dear, dear friends. Maureen
Marilyn, the Berlady 
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