More body image problems

Well.....I'm no longer at the "drugged-up post-surgical stage". I've now graduated to the "sitting around the house grumpy and bored stage"!!! I started 6 weeks of phsical therapy yesterday and I get the stitches out today. I'm reflecting on a couple of situations which happened on the day of my shoulder surgery. They both proved to me that I still haven't gotten over the self-image hurdle yet: The first incident took place before the surgery. One of the nurses went over some information that I had provided on my info sheet. She said that she noticed that I had WLS and wondered if I had lost a lot more weight since I filled out this form. When I told her no, she looked surprised and said that I listed my weight at 200 lbs. and that didn't sound right. I told her that I was at 197 on my scale the previous day. She still wasn't buying it and put me on her scale. When she saw 194, she shook her head and said that I sure didn't look that heavy. I wrote this off as poor judgement on her part. The second incident took place before they discharged me. A different nurse was going over some post-op care information with me. She asked me if I was a runner?!! My first reaction to myself was "Yeah, ha ha....big joke!!!" My second reaction was "Gee, aren't you nice!!!!" My third reaction was " DAMN....I think she's serious...I think these nurses need to stay away from the drug stash!!!" Anyway, I laughingly told my wife about the "runner question" and she repled "Yes you do have the legs of a runner". AAARRRGGGGHHH!!!!!! What's wrong with these people......Am I the only sane one left?? I'm a FAT GUY!!!!!!!!!! I guess that the bottom line in all of this is that I'm still not sure of what I present to the world, but it's not what I still see in the mirror. I guess that I've still got work to do here....but at least, unlike the food decisions.....this is pleasant work! Cheers Mike

I'm right there with you, Mike. I started english riding lessons this weekend (can you believe it???) and my new dressage trainer, a young, pretty thing, was telling me that someone had just given her a competition coat that didn't quite fit her. She said, "Would you like it? You're pretty SKINNY, I'm sure it will fit you!" Jillian was sitting next to me on the bench in the riding ring; she started cracking up. I was absolutely speechless -- and YOU KNOW how uncharacteristic that is of me!!! Have a great day, I sure hope you're feeling better. Maureen

Mike! LOL I love those moments tho! The looks I give people MUST be PRICELESS as I am trying to fiugre out how to "steal" whatever drugs they are currently taking LOL ENJOY! Glad you are feeling better! nic

Hey Mike, I am betting that youare lookin pretty good these days, with all that weight gone. I still consider me a fat girl too!, so I can sure relate. I went to the gym today for the first time in a long time & the owner did not even recognize me & was shocked when I told him who I was. (pretty cool) as it's been awhile since I have ran into anyone that hasn't seen me in awhile. Glad you are feeling better. Do you have one of those balloons under your sholder (my boyfriends mother recently had rotator cuff surgery & she is still in that stupid balloon 4 weeks later(2 more weeks to go) Marilyn, the Bearlady

I can relate!!!!! I have two skinny skinny women who live in my condo complex. "skinny sheila" my next door neighbor is a beautiful 55+ (doen'st look it) size 6 with blond hair and always I mean always looks perfectly created. She is the woman that men all ages always turn to stare at. "skinny sally" 2 doors down is maybe mid 30's cutesy maybe size 10 ditzy darkhaired flirty bubblehead. She tilts her head and twirls her hair around her fingers. The two of them walk 6 or miles daily discussing what they eat I just know thats what they talk about! Anyways frumpy old curly grey haired size 10, 52 year old me was sitting on the steps when they had just returned from their walk. Skinny sally said to me while skinny sheila was knodding her head, Pam this weight loss thing has made you the skinnest person here in the condo. Yes she really did say this. STruck me as being the evil step sisters talking to poor old cinderella. We don't like it she said! OOOO maybe I should go back and have the surgery reversed? I just laugh casue I htink they are trying to be funny. I don't see it. I still feel fat and when I look in the mirror I still see fat. The other night my boyfriend and I were watching our bahama's trip video and I said to him OH my god I didn't realize how fat I still was I've got to stick with the protein maybe lose another 5 pounds! He said NO your perfect right were you are you don't need to lose anymore! smart man huh? Soooooo back to the skinny girls...we did start to talk more. The younger one was saying that she was trying to stick with her diet. That she had put weight on I dont see it but she says she had. She now weighs more than I do. She asked me what I weighed I told her 157 and she said she weighs 165. She is more fit than I am of course with all the walking she does. Her muscle weighs more than my fat does. So of course she is going to be more solid. But when she told me that she wears size 10/12 now I couldn't belivve it. no way do I wear smaller than her no way! i will NOT believe it! She woudnlt be able to convince me even if she had me go try on her jeans and they fit I still woudln't believe it casue she is thin! I am not! The older woman then told me how she'd put weight on. I do have to say that she has put on a slight amount and she looks better than she did. She had gotten tooo skinny. She had been wearing a size 4 but she is tall like me and just din't look right. too angled in her face and no hips at all. no boobs either. now at least with that extra 10 pounds she has a figure again. She now wears a size 6/8. well, i wear size 8/10 i have one size 6 that i can squeeze into real good too! i love that pair of pants! But again there is no way that i am the same size as her. i do know that not all size 10's are the same. difference brands different fit. does this even become real to us? do we ever look in the mirror and say wow i've done good? boy oh boy there sure are worse things to worry about!

Im the LAST person to give advice on body image issues But it is interesting to hear someone tell me that I'm looking so good! I just think "are they insane?" I guess becuase we are sooo aware of our faults to a fault! LOL! we are so use to being so critical of ourselves for sooo long that its just another bad habit to break. I know I myself have come very far I started out at 334. Now at 211. But I wont be happy till the skin comes off and even then I just PRAY that I will be satisfied but heck... I will learn and pray on it. To a point I am content and feel alot better but then the mirrors show me something different. You are doing so well for yourself! It is hard to take people seriously but I really do think it really is comming from their hearts and they really do mean it! Because we all have come a long way! Major improvements!

Mike, here is how I see things: the average woman is 5' 5", I am 5'8". the average woman weighs 174 lbs, I weigh 146 lbs. the average woman wears a size 14-16, I wear a size 8. What I see when I look through my eyes is a woman who has come a ways, but still is fat and has weight to lose. Even after having my abdominoplasty done (of course there is still swelling) I still look at it and see fat. It drives me crazy and I want to see things thru the eyes that others are looking with, but my mind is trying to convince me otherwise. On the other hand, when I looked with my pre-srugery eyes I wasnt seeing 348 pounds either. I know I didnt see myself as I actually was. Kind of like the reverse anorexia thing. While i was inthe hospital and the nurses commented on how thin I was I just smiled and inside thought, "who are they kidding?" Certainly not me. I know we have to be careful not to let things get out of hand inthe other direction, and as diligent as I ahve been about my weight loss I purpose to be that diligent to be emotionally healthy and not to go overboard. It helps to see that others are struggling with the same things and that we are not alone. Thanks for sharing! Janelle