It's amazing how we keep going and going....

When you look around at some of the boards on OH you see a lot of dead air. I don't post as much anymore but I do lurk when I can. I need to go through this journey with my fellow Marchers! But think about it - we are 18 months out now, and yet here we are....still posting away. Going through our life-changes and plastic surgeries and all that fun stuff togethehr. I can't believe that much time has elapsed - can you? I'm getting excited to see what the 2 year mark brings us to. I wonder if I will ever make it to my goal (I think not!). I wonder how many changes our lives will go through in this time? I know many of us have seen drastic changes already. What do you envision for yourself in the next 6 months? Marriage? Divorce? Kids? New careers? Where do you see your life headed now??? Dina

Great post, Dina. I am so thankful we are maintaining our virtual connection and hope that we continue to do so for the long haul. I long for changes, I feel at times that I am bursting at the seams to bust out, break free, feel challenged, experience, discover, fear and realize the unimaginable. Nearly two years ago, I was living a life that I believed would never turn around. Today, I am living the unimaginable. While reality suggests I will merely keep on keepin' on -- stay in my marriage, get my kids through school and stay at a job that is less than rewarding in order to finance their educations, my fantasies beckon otherwise. I long for a career change. Relapse prevention has become my single most important focus (apart from the well being of my children) and I long to make it my life's work. I need to talk about it, write about, live it and share whatever contributes to my success with others in the hopes that we all can continue to beat the demon dead in its tracks. Perhaps I career change of this sort would have me traveling a bit, which might go a long way in keeping my marriage intact. Mostly, I feel an intense longing every day to be better, do better, look better, feel better, live better...life is so damned short and we've been given a great gift. How I'm unwrapping it is falling short of my new expectations. I want more. And you??? Maureen

I have gone through a gamut of emotions in the last 6 months or so. I went from wanting to quit my job to loving my job. I also have had other things going on that have me contemplating my life long term. Where I will be in 6 months may end up being drastically different from where I am right now. In addition, I have gone from really really wanting that 2nd baby to now not wanting anymore kids. I am going through a mid-life crisis at 39. AND I have started having hot flashes already. I am NOT happy about that. So I am coming to grips with a lot right now. Not quite sure how I will digest all of it, but I'm looking forward to whatever pains I go through now being worth the final product. Dina

Yup, Its definately been an emotional trip over the last 18 months. I sure won't disagree with you over that one. I know a lot has happened to me as well as all of you other Marchers. I do also agree that this board seems to stick together more than any others out there & I think that is why our success rate seems to be so much better than others as well. I went to loving my job to hating it, changed jobs, moved away from my boyfriend 3 months ago, Now am going back with him as of next week. We are starting over basically, we want to give it one more try and work on what our problems were instead of running from them. We are both willing to give it one more go before giving it all up. ( I am happy about that, by the way) It is my hope that this will work for us. He is working VERY HARD at the drinking problem & that was the BIG thing that was in the way. He has a long road ahead of him, but we are kind of the same as I have the eating deamons he has the alcohol deamons. Pretty much the same thing. We just have to communicate better than we have in the past. I am looking forward to the next 6 months or so to see what lies ahead of this constant new life. I know even that I am a ways from my goal, I will get there & sure feel better than I ever have before I had WLS. This was a great post, it makes us think, which of course is a good thing. Marilyn, the Bearlady

Marilyn - I'm glad your boyfriend is willing to work on the drinking issues. I remember you posting about that situation. It can really tear down a relationship and that really sucks when there is true love there. I hope he is able to come to grips with it for both your sake! Dina

Hi, Dina. Your timing is amazing. Well, as I've posted, I lost my job last month and am collecting unemployment. I decided to go back to school to get a teaching certification. Well, upon looking into everything, it's going to take a lot for me to do this---probably a year and a half of classes....tests...things I haven't done in about 30 years. I am torn between doing this or just looking for a job. On top of this, I am trying to get my daughter ready for college as this is her last year in high school. My father suffers from dementia and will be entering a nursing home shortly. Once my daughter graduates from high school, I will be moving away to live with my boyfriend....which is good news. He's the best thing to ever happen to me, and I'm looking forward to us setting up house together. Next month, we are going on a cruise to Bermuda and then at the end of the month, we are going to Atlanta to visit my son at school. So I have a mixture of the good and the bad. My life is in constant flux at this point, but I am thinking positive! Joanie

Joanie - I can't know your situation to know what is really really right for you, but I would ask you - do you feel like the last 18 months since surgery has flown by for you? If so, consider that when you think of that year and half of classes you have to take to get your teaching certification. If it's what you want, maybe you should just go for it. If you think you would love it more than "just a job" then I think you should give it a little more consideration. I know about the constant state of flux though - it seems like all of us are going through that to a degree, doesn't it??? Dina

I'm thrilled too that after such a long time this message board keeps going. I don't know what I would do without it. I feel like I have members of a family here who know exactly what I'm going throught at any given moment. I know I can come here and vent, ramble on about silly things, and discuss what has happened in my day. I'll get a comment or two from someone who is right there with me. Knows just what I'm saying, feeling, doing, all of it. Where will I be in another 6 months? who knows. I never thought I'd ever be thin. Now look at me. Heck look at all of us. Who knew I had hip bones, a neck, muscles in my calfs, a waist, a jaw! Who knew I'd ever be able to look down at my feet and see them with out bending over! I think I feel more courageish (one thing hasn't changed I'm a terrible speller) I know that I can handle the rough times alittle bit better cause I made it though what I think of as a war. The war of the weight. It really was a battle to have lived through it. I'm not joking or kidding either. We've survived. Lets keep that going along with our postings!

Exactly! For me it's wonderful being able to come back here and talk to those who are at the same time out in this journey as me. It helps to go through this together and who better to understand than my surgery date buddies? As for the battle/war thing: I couldn't agree more. It has been a lifelong struggle and has shaped my life in so many ways. I know the battle will never completely be over, but I have a sense of being able to inhale and breathe for once in my life. I don't have that suffocating feeling of having to work at it 24/7 anymore. Dina

Our board is the only good board, as far as I'm concerned. It never ceases to amaze me how I feel like you guys are my friends. My life is *generally* on track with where I thought I would be.. Moving out of my ex's house was a likelihood before I even moved in two years ago. I always hoped to work for the company that I got my new (almost a year!) job with. But there are things I never expected, also. Opportunities, friends, events, that I think would not have been so readily available. Or perhaps I wouldn't have been so open to them. I did not expect the midlife crisis aspect though - not for me. I thought losing the weight wouldn't change me but it has... I feel like I don't know my "worth" on the "market". It's something I'm talking to my therapist about, as well as trying to find "norms".. like, what kind of behaviors do "normal" people accept as reasonable vs. me (anything) and how much do "normal" people GIVE in their relationships vs. me (everything), and how do I overcome this low self esteem problem, where I am so deep-down scared of not being liked, wanted, or loved? More people like, want, and love me than ever but I still feel empty. I know I have to fill that hole myself - it's the how and the doing that's hard. I hope you are doing well. I also never thought I'd consider plastics but I am, now. Now that I broke up with the ex, it actually is becoming an issue for me. Jen Remember this? 266/149.5/140?