It's All Good
Or as Connie would say, It Is What It Is. For each of us, our lives are hectic and painful and emotional rollercoasters as we try to deal with the daily onslaught of just plain living...paying the bills, taking care of sick parents or other loved ones, jobs, spouses, kids, being alone, wishing we were alone, cars that break down, unexpected new debt, overflowing toilets, underflowing cash, world devestation, man's inhumanity to man...I'm remembering the first few months after surgery and it struck me that even though life was happening all around me in all its wonderful and horrible manifestations, it was all about the numbers...getting on that scale every morning in a state of anticipation very akin to the way I looked forward to eating pre-surgery, seeing those numbers go down every day, reveling in the fact that for the first time in my adult life I was losing weight, successfully. My scale became my obsession. I am trying to recall what was going on around me at that time and all I can remember is the numbers. Today, the numbers have stabilized and I am living my life. Once in a while I run into someone that I knew "before" and indulge in the OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S YOU HOW DID YOU DO IT circus but it's old. The truth is none of it is about them -- it's all about us -- it's all about you, how you perceive yourself, what you do with that perception, what feels good and right and latching onto that, and disposing with what doesn't through behavioral change. The only person who truly has the power to define who you are is YOU. By giving that power away--"Jack says I'm stupid and fat, therefore I am stupid and fat"--we give ourselves permission to eat, which in turn becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Would you really walk through your days telling yourself you are stupid and fat, really believing that mantra? Of course not. So why do you let Jack tell you as much? Because we look for excuses to do what feels good, what comforts us, what soothes and that is eating. Not for all of us, but for those of you who can relate to these ramblings I offer my love and support and total understanding. I've been awake since 3:00 this morning alive with questions and thoughts and introspection. Today, my life is not about the numbers. And today, I commit to dealing with all of it, the good and the bad of life and living, positively, cheerfully, compassionately and in a spirit of humble gratitude for being able to do so. Won't you join me? Love to you, Reenie
I love your introspection! 
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