could use your prayers

My mom had her 6 month check up with her Gyno-Onc. on Friday. Her CT scan showed spots on her lungs. So she will be doing aggressive chemo starting the 11th of July. I did look up the stages of cervical cancer and this sounds like it is stage 4b, cervical cancer. Which gives her a 5 year survival rate of less than 35%. The doc's tell her she can fight it, my sister is really gung-ho about doing all the holistic approaches and what not. My first response was to ask her if fighting was what she wanted to do. My sister is FURIOUS with me, but I needed to know that chemo is what MOM wanted to do. Is that wrong? I can't ask her to do it if she doesn't want too, can I? Why was it the wrong thing to say? Of course I want her to fight, I want her to live a long healthy life MORE THAN ANYTHING! But it isn't my body that will be fighting it is it?? We told Britton and Isabella today. Isi asked a ton of questions and seemed ok with it, but mostly it is because she doesn't understand. Britton just cried and cried. He gets it. He remembers watching my 2 uncles die after round and round of chemo and radiation. if you have any extra prayers I would ask you to use them for my Britton. thanks nic

I'm sorry that you and your family are dealing with this. You are not wrong, but neither is your sister. You are all grieving the loss of your mom's health and each of you will feel that pain and respond in a different way. Realize that you may feel differently from day to day and so will your mom. The tough part is trying to set aside your own fears and being sensitive to what she is feeling at the time. She needs you both to be open listeners and to support whatever direction she is going, even if it goes against your feelings. Realize she may change her mind according to how she is feeling. Cancer is a frightening foe, and it takes time to work through the shock of that diagnosis to know what is really in one's heart to do. Be honest with her about your feelings and fears, but mostly take your cue from her. Some people long to talk out their feelings but feel that they have to be strong for their family. Others deal with the fear by choosing to hold it inside and trying to make each moment as full of happiness as possible. Your challenge is to let her determine this without pushing her into your mold. Above all, she will draw strength from knowing that you love her. Your sister needs your love and acceptance too. The best gift you can give your mom is unity of support and love--not always easy when you have so much emotional investment!!! You have my prayers--for your whole family. My feeling is that Britton will be fine. Children are very honest about their feelings, but because they acknowledge them instead of denying them, they usually work through the pain and heal faster and better than adults. Let him know it is OK to be sad and worried, and that you are sad too. Give him some projects to do for her to show his love. (Make a big I LOVE YOU poster, or something similar!) My husband and I have experienced the "cancer" diagnosis 7 times in our immediate families (parents and siblings). We were blessed with 3 successful treatments and lost 4 family members. Every time it has been an emotional roller coaster. You are not alone. Lean on friends! Joy

Hey Nic Sorry to hear this kind of News. Big Soft Huggs headed your way as well as prayers for you & all of your family dealing with this kind of health issues. Take Care & were here if you need to vent at any time!!] Marilyn, the Bearlady

Awww, Nic... You know that you and your whole family are in my prayers. I think that you asked your mom the right question and you onl had your mother's best interest at heart. Hang in there and know that the collective we are here to support you. Many Hugs, Connie