count down til vacation

i wil lbe leaving for NH to care for my elderly mother while my sister goes on a golf trip tournament with friends. what was i thinking to volunteer to stay with mom for a week??? ok i was trying to be a good daughter. i was feeling guilty cause my sister Saint Patty has constant care. mom doen' tlike to be alone and it was a warm fuzzy moment in janaury where I said O I'll come up and stay you go have a good time. Pleaseeeeee dont' get me wrong I LOVE my mother very much. WE are very different. And as she ages I get angry not withher she can not help getting old. i get angry with me casue she is getting old. Ok so now you've all called your family doctors to schedule an appointment for me. I hate that she can't move like she did. She use to out run me to the clearance racks on sale days. She would go dancing all night. Mom loved to travel and has been so many different places. One time we all went on a mini cruise. Thats when I found out that I get VERY sea sick. In my defense it was the weekend of a hurricane and we were out there in the middle of it. Everyone on the ship was sick including most of the workers. But there was mom running up and down all over the place. I will never forget or forgive her hanging over me saying Youwon't believe the food buffet they have everything! She was in her 70's!!!!! Saint Patty has gotten mom a motorized cart (I hate saying wheel chair) and now she moves much quicker. I hate that she can'thear like she use to. That woman could hear me whispering when I woudl hide under winter clothing in a closet under the stairs that was 3 floor levels away. Now she can't hear me when she is sitting right next to me. My sister Saint Patty got her a hearing aide that works great. Now she can hear just like before. ut oh. I am looking forward to having mom all to myself. Saint Patty will be gone and I will be given the baby inthe family status that I so enjoy. I will be number one! YES! Right now my sister Saint Patty is shaking in her shoes. She enjoys number one status all the time. But for this one week with mom being with "The baby" she will be bumped down a peg or two. hahahaha I'm not telling how my daughter the highly honored only grand daughter, the potentially maker of the much covenated great grandchild might be coming along for a few days. HA! let her find out when she gets home and mom tells her allllll about it. hehehehehe sister wars are such fun. O I'm looking forward to this vacation.

Your mom sounds a lot like mine. She was a real go-getter. She never had any patience with people who acted old! It made me angry when a frail old lady replaced the active person she had been. And she became more like a frightened child. And she lost the ability to see me for who I am. I felt like she had died without anyone noticing it and that this dependant negative person had taken her place. The only part of her that stayed completely intact is that she still wanted to run my life!! I was the caretaker. I did the best I could. Sometimes it really go the best of me and I sunk into depression or avoidance. But sometimes, for short periods, even in the last days, we were able to laugh about silly things together like we used to. When she passed away at age 92 I felt mostly relief--for both of us. But now I miss her. I don't miss that weak old person--I miss the strong active life-of-the-party person that she once was. I hope you have some of those lovely moments with your mother this week... Joy

Hey Pam I can soooo relate here with your stuff. I have been living with my Mom since January and it gets very trying at times. She also can't here very well & the TV get very loud. She is doing much better than she was & does still work, but her eyes are not as good & her feet always hurt. I suppose at 85 & she still can work I should not complain too much, but, I also have a problem with my Dogs being in AZ & the new boyfriend being there as well. So guess what I don't want to be in San Diego. I also have had much worse allergies since moving out of the Dessert. I wold really like to breath again. Anyway, Good luck with you Mom & hope you have a good time. Marilyn, the Bearlady

I totally get it! My mom is 70 and I just noticed that she is becoming frail. She had chemo-radiation for 6 months and it was Ithink too much for her to recover from. We were at a triathlon yesterday watching my sister and we went to move a picninc table into the shade and her back went out...there were 5 of us moving it and she went down. It scared the **** outta me...all of the sudden it hit me "SHE IS GETTING OLD!" and I was MAD, PISSED OFF actually. I think it is a normal reaction. My sister and I do the favored daughter status thingie... Altho, I was there to help yesterday and take care of her, it was HER day cause it was HER race LOL! that's ok... I will win, OH let me tell ya those grandkids really do help weigh in on the contest ! LMAO!!! My daughter who is 6 was so sweet yesterday, there was a woman running in the race at aged 78, she said "Oh Nana she is even OLDER than you ARE, I think you should race, but how about tomorrow since your back hurts today??" Enjoy your time with your mom! Nic