How do we get to Normal?

I have been pondering my idea of normal and wonder if I really know what normal is. If one has lived their whole life needing, wanting, and working on losing weight how do we change our perspecitve and actions to be a person who now needs to maintain? I am at goal and do not need to lose anymore, but I dont know how a maintaining person functions? How much (food, exercise, etc) is enough, too much, and for a lifetime? As much as my body reflects a normal size person, my head doesnt reflect normal thinking and I dont exactly know how to get to normal thinking because I dont know how a normal sized person thinks. I do know that I have some distorted thinking about food and I want to get that under control, I do not struggle with sweets and bad carbs (also helpful is the fact that I dump pretty itense), but more struggle with letting my guard down once in a while and say its okay to treat myself to something, getting a few extra calories, even of something healthy. This is a lifetime journey and I dont want it to be as screwed up in the other direction as the first part of the journey was........ Janelle

Janelle, I AM NOT SURE THERE IS A RIGHT OR WRONG ANSER TO THIS ONE. iF WE KNEW HOW TO DAEL WITH ALL OF THE CHANGE & HEAD STUFF ALONG WITH THIS SURGERY. wE WOULD NOT HAVE NEEDED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. IF YOU GET ANY GOOD ANSWER TO THIS LET US KNOW. I DON'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT NORMAL IS ANYMORE, EITHER. JUST KNOW THAT IF FEEL BETTER THAN EVER & CAN DO MORE THAN I EVER COULD BEFORE LOSING THE 140 LBS THAT I HAVE LOST. I STILL HAVE ABOUT 50 LBS TO GOAL & WILL BE VERY HAPPY IF I COULD JUST GET TO THAT. SO FAR HAVEN'T HAD MUCH LUCK. STUCK ABOVE THE 200 LBS MARK. MARILYN, THE BEARLADY

Janelle, Never in my life have I been normal and I don't want to be now. Normal won't work for me. The normal woman in America today is a size 14. I don't want to be a size 14. If I ate the same way my "normal" sister does, I'be be back up to at least a size 20 by the end of the year. She can get away with eating normally and be a size 8 or 10, I can't. According to my surgeon's rules, normal for me should be eating 3 meals a day. Period. I can't do that kind of normal. When I only eat three meals a day, I'm starving by the time I eat, stuff myself and then pray to the porcelain gods. I get run down between meals and find it hard to concentrate. I need to eat 5 or 6 times a day. Today I started with two ounces of turkey and an ounce of cheese. 3 or 4 hours later, some pork skins. A couple of hours after that, a few bites of Terriyaki chicken. Is my surgeon happy with this? NO. She calls it grazing. I find it's the only way to get in all my protein, stay full and not make myself sick. It's my normal. I say screw normalcy. Find your own normal. Find what works for you and stick with it. Don't let yourself be influenced by what others call normal. Connie (Who's feeling a little wound up and full of herself today)

Thanks for being wound up, it actually made me feel better. I do not eat 3 meals a day...I am a grazer too. I ate a south beach cereal bar at 8, some goat cheese at 10, 1/2 c cottage cheese, and 1/2 c low carb yogurt at 1, along with some hard pretzels. Protein Crunch thingie at 3, and some whole grain crackers and goat cheese for dinner. I'll have a salad after my daughter's concert tonight and call it a night. I am with you about the 3 meals a day. Last time I did that, I, too, "prayed to the porcelain gods." I think it's all a matter of trial and error...and we find what works. I cut back considerably on the turkey jerkey....the sodium made me blow up like a balloon, even though it is a fantastic source of protein. We go out to dinner alot, and usually order one meal and split it, including dessert...I'll have a few bites. This is my normal...and it works for me. Love ya babe! Joanie

I enjoy reading these postings so much. I agree with the one I just read about being normal. I think that as far as all the things that we as a group have gone though to have this surgery are now a pretty much as normal a group there is. I listen to my "normal" sized friends and they talk about the same things that we do. They worry that they aren't eating right or enough or too much and that their butts are too big or to saggy or have celulite. and now when I'm out and about and meet up with someone who is chatting weathers its in the grocery store or at the hairdressers when talk gets around to all these complaints that each of us surgery-skinny or regular skinny we are all talking about the same thing! Gee we hit normal an didn't even realize it! I'm also a grazer. My problem being if I don't eat 5 to 6 meals aday I get very tired and can't function well at all. The brain freezes up and I become sluggish. If I wait til I get to that point then eat well I might just as well forget the rest of the day cause I'm gonna have to find some place to bed down cause I'm gonna be sleeping for a while. I get low blood sugar. So my doctor has told me to have more carbs. HAHAHA! imagine being told by your doctor to have more carbs??? Gotta love it. I eat the right things I don't go too crazy. I've not been brave enough to take that chance on eating a snickers bar but I have had birthday cake. There was a twizzlers episode but I've overcome that monkey on my back! I weigh in once a week on mondays. That helps to keep me good. If I've gained that pound I play with then I weigh in again on fridays. I try very very very hard not to do the weigh in thing daily cause I'd be one of those people who would go the other way and maybe turn into a skeleton! all things in moderation including scales.

I'm a scale-aholic. I get on every morning. I think it helps me define my "normal" and helps me adjust each day. Not sure if it is the right thing in general, but again, it works for me! Joan

I have low blood sugar, too. I weigh most days, but I allow myself a window of five pounds over my lowest weight for water, etc. If I get to the five pounds, then I react, otherwise, I wait and see before I get upset over it. So I think I'm not getting crazy with the scale and at the same time I'm keeping an eye on things. When I was getting heavier and heavier I never used to weigh myself, so weighing myself is part of my awareness of what's going on with my body. I'm doing ok with maintaining where I'm at so far. Jen

It sounds like for the most of us we have to eat small mini-meals throughout the day. I find if I don't I eat to fast, don't chew well enough and end up sick. My Doc prefers I eat 3 meals and then 3 snacks, I really end up doing more like 6 snacks but I am maintaining very easily right now. That may change as time goes on and I will have to adjust, isnt THAT what normal people do??? I hate that word normal, I am "sizewise" smaller than the normal woman, it is just that my head still sees my size 26/28 body not the size 6/8. I get glimpses of the size 6/8 person occasionally and I like to see her. Hopefully she will encourage herself to stay! For me normal is beig able to play with my kids and not feel like I am going to explode, to be able to lay down in my bed at night and literally not struggle for breath, to be able to wrap a towel around me, to fit into the bath tub, things that "normal" people never even think about! HERE"S to NORMAL! Nic 291/161/150