Just the two of us??!!

WARNING...LONG AND LOONY RAMBLES TO FOLLOW!!!!! Roses are red....Violets are blue.....I'm a schizophrenic (And so am I)!!!! I really need to know if anyone else feels this way or if I should just shut up and go get a "Check-up from the Neck-up"??!! I feel like I've got a split personality thing going on sometimes. Most of the time the guy is somewhat together. He is really happy to have gotten himself healthy. He appreciates the second chance that he has been given by this surgery, but recognizes its limitations. He realizes that it is a means to an end but not an end in itself and that serious work is required. THEN......There's the other guy.....He of the un-realistic expectations and foolish fantasies. His grip on reality makes his teenaged daughters look mature and ultra-realist!! He can't understand why his weight loss hasn't solved all of life's problems even though life is so much better. He still has to go to work every day. He still has to face college tuition; taxes; monthly bills; saving for retirement and all of the other financial headaches of life. He has spent so many years dreaming of being "Normal" that he doesn't know how to handle it now that he's aproaching "Normal"! He doesn't want to accept the fact that even the slimmest of people still have problems. When he looks in the mirror, he doesn't see Brad Pitt looking back at him and his net worth doesn't resemble that of Bill Gates at all?!!! WHY NOT???!!! It's not fair WAHHHH!!!!! Now before you send out the guys with the big butterfly net for me, please understand that that guy only comes out to play occasionally, but he does like to lurk in the background and whine a lot! Pretty crazy Huh?? Mike

MIKE! I am chuckling with you! but honey YOU GOTTA GET OUTTA MY HEAD!!! It is CROWDED IN THERE ALREADY!@@ ugh! I too had some "funky" unreal expectations and TODAY... I KNOW THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE! [[hugs}} nic 291-161-150

Hi Nic It's really strange the way the head works sometimes..... Isn't it??!! Mike

Hey, Mikey....no matter how much weight we lose some things are still constant. Work, bills, taxes and chores. It's not fair....but as my mother always told me...."who ever told you life was fair?" Look, now that you are thin, you can become a male stripper and make extra money....lol! No, you're not crazy. You are doing something we all are doing...it's called....LIVING!!! Take care and chin up!!! Joanie

Thanks Joan..... What's scary about all of this, is that I'm fully aware that these thoughts are absurd, while I'm having them, but it doesn't keep them away. As for being a male stripper...... that's too absurd to even ponder!!! The flapping skin slapping me in the face as I dance will hurt too much, although my admirers (The blind ladies club e.g.) can tuck dollar bills in the skin folds. Mike

Mike, Mike, Mike, Maybe we should introduce your whiney extra personality to my evil, subversive twin, Connella, who is full of doubt and self-criticism. Sounds like they'd be a perfect pair. So when I lost weight, I was supposed to meet the man of my dreams who was going to sweep me off my feet. After all, the only reason it hadn't happened before was the extra weight. I was sure that as soon as the weight was gone, my love life would be taking off on a rocket. Hmmmmm.... Not so much. So now the evil twin inserts thoughts like: So.... It wasn't the weight after all. You're just not attractive, may as well face it. Maybe your personality sucks. Maybe you have major personality issues and you just don't know it. There must be something seriously wrong with you because you just seem to attract whackos and freaks. I'm thinking that maybe we can get a group discount on therapy. Connie

That's a terrific idea, Connie. If we get the evil twins together, they can spend all of their time whining at each other and leave us to live our lives. Don't let Connella get you down, I know that you are a good person....you just seem to be destined to kiss a lot of "Frogs" before you find your "Prince". Maybe we can find some doctoral candidate studying "pshrinkage" of one sort or another willing to do his thesis on the psycology of former fat folk!!! Mike

That evil twin needs to go...I say NONSENSE to all of those thoughts, completely off-base, just plain wrong. Of course, I know what you mean about the self-speak, though, so I don't want to diminish this. But you sound blue and if that's true its the MARCHERS TO THE RESCUE! Love, Reenie

Hey Reenie, I'm not really blue, just tired. Tired of the whole dating thing. Breaking up with the Dude this weekend was harder than I thought it would be. He wasn't happy and felt that I hadn't given him a chance, but when it's not right, it's not right. He left for a European tour today so hopefully we'll both be feeling better by the time he gets back in a month. Thanks for caring. C.

Mike, Mike,MIke You are not crazy. If you are, then all of us are right along with you on that account. We all thought that losing weight the problems would go away. maybe they did, we just see problems differently now than when we were heavy. Trust me all those probelms are still there, are hope was that they would all go way. we are just not that lucky Hang in There!! Tomorrow will look better. Just think about how well you can move around with those teenage daughters of yours, better than you ever could before, & hopefully, that will get you through the rough stuff. Marilyn, the bearlady