Embarrassing confession--I'm gaining! Help!

I posted this on the main message board, but I wanted to share it with my fellow Marchers, also. I'm 13 mos. post-op, & I've gained 3 lbs. this month plus the pound I gained last month. So, I had lost 86 lbs and now it's 82 lbs. It's completely my fault because I've slipped back into snacking, eating junkfood and not concentrating on protein. I have started walking 3 miles four times a week, but all the empty calories are catching up with me. I'm posting to be accountable to you guys and also as a warning to those who are tempted to go back to our old eating habits thinking a little won't hurt. I wish I could stop at a little, but I've managed to figure out a way to eat a lot of the wrong foods a little at a time, and I'm miserable. It's not worth it! I've started back today on protein & carbs from vegetables & some fruits and I'm off of sugar, my arch enemy. Any encouragement or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. Carla

Hi Carla: I know it's easy to go back to old ways and bad foods. But just think how easy it is to lose weight since we had this surgery. So just make the efort to avoid bad junk and don't keep it in the house. I find it is better for me not to have goodies in my house. I weigh daily and if I go up 2 or 3 pounds I just cut back for a few days and off it goes. That is how I have learned to maintain. All the best to you. Louise

I agree with you. I, too, weigh in every day. I have terrible problems with food/water retention/constipation right before my period. It's awful, but I do find that weighing in every day helps you curb what you eat. Joan

Hi Carla; I know that you must be depressed about gaining weight at this stage, but I would like to move your focus back to the "big picture". Let's compare numbers for a minute.....86 lbs. lost......4 pounds gained. Right there I see a lot of success and a small, I repeat, small setback! You have already done the right thing by realizing what you have been doing and getting back to what you need to do. I would say that that is a success in itself. I'll bet that in the "Bad Old Days", If you had a minor setback during a "diet", you would have said "the hell with it" and fallen totally off the wagon. I know that this is how it happened with me. Your are to be congratulated for seeing the problem before it gets out of hand and doing something about it. Your problem, as I see it is that you are HUMAN!! Humans are not perfect, we make mistakes. Try to stop beating yourself up and enjoy the benefits of being 82 lbs. lighter. We all know in theory that this surgery is a tool, but we need to understand that no matter what happens, this tool will still be there when we climb back on the "Wagon"!! I have had a few small weight gains too, but when I returned to the "Program", I was able to take the weight back off. It's taken many years to develop all of our bad eating habits, so why should we expect to change them overnight??!! It took a lot of courage to confess your "sins" to the group and ask for support. I, for one, admire you for it. You're not alone here, Carla, lots of us are struggling to change our relationship with food. Hang in there.....we're with you!! Mike

Hi Carla, where have you been??? It's so, so good to hear from you again. You've done the right thing by posting and we're here for you! Here's the thing I've discovered and it's a daily challenge to deal effectively with this -- if I stay in my head -- that is, if I keep it all to myself, what I'm feeling about food or how I'm behaving with food, the cravings, the need to eat emotionally, all of the way in which I deal with food on a daily basis...if I keep it all locked up inside my head, I'm in trouble. It's secret living; it's living an internal life where there are no other inhabitants, just me -- and food. When I get to that place, I am in deep doodoo. Now, here's what's different for me from the old days, my old ways...now, I recognize it! I know when I've retreated into the recesses of my head, I know when I've become secretive about food and the minute I own it, I do whatever it takes to get out of that place. I involved my family, I tell them I'm in trouble; I get on this Board immediately! Just like what you did, good for you! It's as if I jumped overboard into a black sea swarming with all sorts of unimaginable things that can pull me under and I scream, "Help me!" ... on this Board and before I know it, a hundred life lines are tossed my way. So, here's your life line, sweetie. But here's the kicker -- you have to grab it. You have to make the choice to grab hold, but we can't save you if you don't want to be saved. Start swimming, Carla. Make the choice to do what you need to do to stay healthy, keep you weight off, and feel good about yourself! Staying in my head, living a secret "food" life fills me with shame and that's a hell of a way to get up every morning. And you're right to realize that the phenomenon of losing weight because of the surgery is over for us. In order to maintain we must do the work ourselves by making healthy food choices every day, getting in the protein and water, and moving our butts, hard, fast, every single day. When you do that, you're swimming. Hell, you'll be pulling us along then! And we need you as much as you need us. Baby steps. Start today, just today. Good food, good exercise, lots of water and happy, healthy thinking. Take care and stay in touch! Reenie

Reenie, I've been busy falling off the wagon in secret, don't you know? Thanks so much for your post. It's so true how we hide our eating problems and struggles as if we can conquer them on our own. Well, I've come out of the closet, and I'm opening up about my failures and I feel better already. Yesterday was better. I did great all day until 10pm when I saw an open bag of peanut m&ms (2/3 of small bag), and I dug into them like a drug addict needing a fix! My first thought was I obviously can't eat right, so I might as well go back to my horrible eating habits. But I woke up, had low-carb creamer in my coffee and a protein shake, and I feel great. I'm going to keep trying and keep posting. Thanks for all your help! Also for the other encouraging posts. You guys are great. Carla

Carla, It does seem like a very long time since we have heard from you. Ya know we are kind of struggling right now, I think it's suppose to get harder so we keep reminded that we have to fight those food deamons all the time. We are here for you & glad you felt that we could help you through this. We have all been there, but, you have done the right thing by recognizing where you are going wrong & get back on track. Get rid of that snacky stuff in you house today, & think Protein & water and you CAN DO IT!! The difference in this tool & weight loss we have incurred as we can make those choices, whereas before we just kept eating to deal with stressful situations, now we can fix it so we can turn it around now. Hang in There, it will get better & you will drop those 3 lbs very soon. Like Mike said, don't beat yourself up, Make those choices & get back on track. Marilyn, the Bearlady

I know exactly how you feel !! Everyday I say I'm not going to eat any sugar, but before I know it I'm eating the stuff !!! I tasted it at Christmas and I just can't get back to where I want to be. I gained 5 pounds in Dec. and I've lost it and gained it about 6 times in the last four months. I feel so hopeless again. I'm out of control. I don't know what to do !! Well , I really do know what to do , I'm just not doing it. So I'm going to try harder. We can do this together with all our friends on here. Judy

Carla, I don't know if this will apply to you, but here's one of the best things I did to help my weight loss: I stopped thinking in terms of "days", "tomorrow" and a "fresh start." The formerly chunky (hell, who am I kidding?) FAT Connie thought things like, "Crap, I've blown my diet. I'll start again tomorrow." The rest of the day was a feeding frenzy because after all, I was starting a diet tomorrow. Well, when you do that for 30 or 40 years, a girl's bound to put on a few pounds or tons. Now I get back on task immediately. I don't wait until tomorrow and give myself permission to blow it the rest of the day. I think that it was Jen that posted a long and beautiful reply to someone about all or nothing thinking. Just because I had a few chips at lunch doesn't mean that I need to give up control for the rest of the day. I didn't blow a whole day of eating well, just a few minutes. I really do applaud your courage for posting this. There have been times when I've felt out of control and should have come to the board. We're here for you. Please let us know how it's going. Hugs, Connie

Hey guys, Would you believe after two days of doing better, I weighed this morning and lost the 4 lbs.! Is that normal? I've been weighing once a month for a while, but I'm going to start weighing every day or so to keep a better handle on things. Thanks so much for all the encouragement. This is a lifelong task, and we can do it! Carla