Need to share 13 months post op

I don't want to be bashed by anyone, I don't want to feel ashamed, and I don't want to beat myself up because I have done that all my life with my weight. I will say that I have gained about 5 pounds over the last two months. My weight goes up and down those five pounds. I can't even believe that I am sharing this but it is happening to me. I could give excess to why: stress, loneliness, head hunger. I can say that it was much easier the first 10 months out of surgery. Food wasn't even on my mind. I didn't feel the desire to eat. Now that is different. I fight the temptations to have just a bite of this or a bite of that. I also have to make a conscious effort to eat just an enough to satisfy my need for nutrion and not feeding myself to feel full (I don't want to stretch my stomach). I get tones of compliments on how great I look. I just wish I was being noticed by the opposite sex. I would love to be loved by someone. God is teaching me to be patient. I just wanted to share what I have been going through the last month. I haven't lost any weight since Christmas. I am very happy that I had surgery. Now I have to keep myself on the path for success. If this is one year out of surgery, what will it be like five years out of surgery. I want to make this a plan for life, not a struggle for life. (wow what powerful words). Thanks for listening. Wendy Ann -147

No need to feel ashamed ... Once you get closer to goal, you will bounce around within a 10 pound radius. I have heard a lot of older post-ops talk about fluctuating between 5-10 pounds. Note that you will have weight gain of 2-5 pounds monthly with your cycle. If you are not dropping weight, and you want to lose a few more pounds, then try upping your protein intake by drinking an extra shake, eating protein for all of your snacks. The trick to keeping your eating in check is to eat protein when you feel like "snacking" or "grazing". I found that when I grab a boiled egg or a 1/2 pork chop etc... I do not have to worry about gaining pounds. As far as men are concerned, though its hard, try to be patient, and ask God to send someone who is right for you. Be specific in what you ask God for and do not settle for anyting less ! Try going out more and hanging out with single friends so that you can meet people. You have done a fantastic job with your weightloss and you are very beautiful woman VAL

i certainly will never bash you for your feelings--i have the same types of feelings in re my weight loss-i have sat at about 155 # for two-?- months now going on three-i am trying to get into the 120's--it is attainable-those last 30 pounds seem sooooooo solidly packed in-after all they have been there for about 30 years!!!! i just don't feel that i have worked hard enuff for it yet--and somedays i am afraid of succeeding--that sounds stupid but it does happen--i have had that fear many times in life regarding jobs and other things-it can be debilitating! back to you-and me-and many others-sometimes, wendy ann, it is becuz we see so many ppl who have acheived their goals-either in numbers of pounds or by the fact that some marchers (same time frame as us) have hit goal or even gone on to plastics already--so we compare--we know that we shouldn't but we do--it's natural--we wonder what is wrong with us-why can't we be saying i am at goal or i hit the century club or whatever-well-tootise-we are all different! wouldn't it be a dull world if God had made us all exactly the same???? i know-probly doesn't give you much comfort in what i have said-and i pray that i haven't upset you--it was not my intent! i give you a lot of credit for coming here to us-your peers-your family--to say what you have--and i applaud you the terrific loss you have acheived!!!! now that winter seems to finally be behind us--get out and walk a bit extra-or add some extra protein to your day--make sure you are getting your fluids--all teh stuff you know-shake up your routine a bit surprise your body!!!! and-as valerie said-be careful what you ask God for--you are special and you do NOT want just any ol opposite sex paying attention to you!!!! oh please -maybe i should hit delete--i hope that you take this all with the right perspective!!!!!guess taht i am in a weird mood tonite

Wendy, Wendy,Wendy..... Nobody on this board will ever bash you.......I, for one, admire your courage to post your struggles! Lots of us (if not all of us) are going through struggles of one sort or another. You certainly have nothing to be ashamed of......God girl.....you've lost 147 pounds.....THAT"S A WHOLE PERSON!!!!! I have been bouncing around in the same weight range for months, so I feel your pain there. It seems like the closer we get to goal, the more the pounds want to stay with us. You need to dwell on all the good things that have happened to you instead of bashing yourself over that 5 pounds. I struggle with this every day. I've noticed that one character trait that all of us seem to have is that we are perfectionists. If we do anything wrong, we beat ourselves bloody! We need to convince ourselves that we are human and as such, not perfect!! As for your other worry, I'm not comfortable advising others on their love life, but I would like to make one observation: What people are feeling inside seems to transmit to others. If you like yourself and are happy and comfortable with who you are, it shows on the outside and people will notice and respond positively. You shouldn't walk around under a dark cloud of your own making. You are a beautiful woman who has done wonderful things for her health. Stop beating yourself up and celebrate your success!!! Mike

Wendy Ann, I agree with Mike & all the others You have done fantastic & we will never beat you up for speaking your mind. That is why we are here & sticking together with this. We no what everyone is dealing with better than anyone else that hasn't had surgery. Hang in There!! We will get through this & SURVIVE. I have freiend that our 4 & 5 years out & they struggle with some of this same stuff as you are talking about. They say this time is the hardest & you will start to lose again. Its like our bodies are trying to catch up with all the weight loss & when it does, It will start to lose again. Do not beat your self up. You have done all the right things & will find the right person in you life. Maybe find a church to start going to. They have great people there to meet. and its much better than any bar. Good Luck & post anytime you want! Marilyn, the Bearlady

Thank you all for your love and support. It means so much that you care. Wendy Ann

wendy, welcome to my world! I could have written that including the sig...lol. My life has changed so much but I still want to eat all the junk that got me to 432 pounds! BUT...I decided this weekend to get my act together...I've come too far to go back now...I'm lc'ing again and feeling much happier with myself. Hang in there...hugs and kisses. wendy, too!