she's back (again!)

Glad to hear everyone is doing well. We just got back from Atlanta for my son's college graduation. It was a fun filled time....my birthday on saturday, mother's day on sunday and we left for Atlanta on mother's day, and came back on tuesday. WHEW! Lots of food and drink, but I did my best to get a couple of walks in. I must say, I am looking forward to a touch of normalcy....and I say a touch because it is never really totally normal around here. My daughter is home from college and has transferred to a school in NYC, so she will be only an hour from home. This is a good thing for all of us. My weight fluctuates by 5 to 7 pounds depending on my digestive situation. My bowels are still terrible, and I am retaining water something horrible. I've actually had to cut back on protein in order for the bowels to function properly, increased the fiber and still have a problem finding my right spot. Another good thing is that we gave up alcohol during the week, and only have a glass or 2 of wine on weekends. I'm not a huge drinker, but have recently been interested in various red wines, and have realized how it can play with our systems, so I've cut back. We'll see how this works out for me. I've noticed that everyone seems to have their eating routines under control, and I wish I can say the same for myself. It has been a struggle. Anyway....be well everyone. I'm still here and lurk more than write, but I wish everyone well, happiness and health.... Love ya! Joanie

Ah, Joanie, I've missed you so!!! Welcome home, don't be a stranger - we're all struggling...

Happy Birthday!! I'm glad to see you. I miss your posts when you're gone. I know you're not talking about me when you say everyone has their eating routines under control. Food is my drug of choice and I struggle with it every day. I've never really felt in control when it comes to food. I think there is a 12 step program in there somewhere. I remember years ago I went to an Overeater Anonymous meeting one time and one time only. These people seems obsessed with the minutia of eating. There was a woman who declared a major victory for the week because she had french fries without catsup. At the time, I thought it was sad and pathetic and I certainly didn't fit in with people who measured victory in terms of catsup. Now I'm starting to relate. I'm in a world of legal drama and trauma right now (thankfully not my own) and it's triggering every stress button I have. It's a major accomplishment everytime I drive past a fast food drive through. Love ya back! Connie

Very good to see your Smile, here!! Glad you had a great trip & Happy Belated Birthday!! Marilyn, the Bearlady

Joanie, You sure ain't talkin' about me with that "eating routines under control" comment. Couldn't be further from the truth. It's an every day, almost every minute, conscious thought process - to keep my brain and my pouch in sync. It's kind of like the old demon on one shoulder and an angel on the other kind of thing - doing the infamous "yes you can no you can't" routine. Brain wants something - TAZ! says ain't no freakin' way - brain says just a bite - or maybe a couple - TAZ! says I'll put you on the couch sweatin' like a "you know what" in church!! Or better yet - how about 30 minutes of dry heaves over the porcelain GODDESS!! Brain says but I NEED IT!! Remember that statement quoted in the early days that was repeated so much I wanted to scream!! They only changed our plumbing not our brains! Well my brain is still waiting for the cranial part of the surgery that ain't comin'. OK I'll shut up now. You catch my drift. As always glad to have you back. Va

I certainly understand what you're saying. But...I don't know....I feel fat. Perhaps I need to get the plastics on my stomach after all, I don't know. I have a wonderful man...I just got engaged....3 CARAT DIAMOND.... wonderful house (3 blocks from the beach) wonderful job....and amazing kids. I have NOTHING to complain about. Except I want to lose about 15 pounds. I beg of you...what is wrong with THIS picture????? Love you all.... Joanie

Joanie, 3 K diamond!!! WOW!! Great guy - great house - great job. Good going girl!! The problem.....BDS (body dysmorphia syndrome) OK...this is a bit weird. It's my own self perception "body image" thing I know. But When I see my reflection in the mirror I recognize that I'm thin. But when I look down "my eye view" at my own naked self - no mirror involved - I see fat. My husband "LOVES" the way I look - but I hate how I look without clothes - HATE IT!! My upper arms are floppy, I have NO waist - ZERO butt - and my thighs look like someone stuffed cottage cheese into pinky/white pantyhose. EWWWW! I have had excess skin removed from tummy and butt (yeast infection nightmare). I won't have anything else done due to keloids. Most days I'm 90% happy with the TT and BL but the dealing with the ever present and morphing keloids can sometimes make that 10% unhappy quotient seem MUCH larger. Please don't think that I'm making light of your dissatisfaction with your body. I'm with you there all the way. My view is that if you believe it will make you more comfortable and happy - then have the plastics. Being disgusted with how you see yourself affects all other relationships. I think part of it is that we'll always have perceptive body issues. You have to come to grips with what your tolerance level is and work from there forward. I hope this makes some sense. {{{HUGS}}} Va