A WAKE UP CALL

So, I'm doing my usual workout on the track during my lunch hour, which I always follow up with a walk down to the water (Thames River); although the waterfront is part of the Connecticut College campus, it is always completely deserted when I go there, which baffles me because it is so beautiful and peaceful there. I consider the water a real perk of my job - I really take some "me" time to get centered there - finish my stretches and then just relax for about 10 minutes before heading back to the office. In order to get there I have to cross some railroad tracks; to the left of the tracks is an open field. All of this is normally absolutely desolate, not a soul in sight. Until yesterday. I noticed a man in the middle of the field. He was alone, on foot, no vehicle anywhere that I could see. And he was noticing me. What disturbed me right away is that he started looking around - as if to assess if anyone else was nearby. This sent my internal antenna on red alert. I kept walking. I crossed the tracks and got to the line of sailboats before I turned around to see if I could see the guy. Nothing. I thought I was being rediculous - even though my panic button was really engaged. It took me another 20 seconds to get to the end of the rubber pier, a beautiful extension over the water where I always do my stretching. In that 20 seconds, I was at the end of the pier and bending over to grab my ankles for a good hamstring stretch - I happen to look between my legs and he's there, right behind me on the pier. Twenty seconds from no one in sight to right behind me. He was watching me stretch and he took something out of his pocket - a cell phone or something, maybe took a picture, I don't know...then he started looking around again, assessing...assessing what? For what? My mind whirled - I knew by looking at him that he was not associated with the college. I pulled myself up and did the only thing I thought I could do. Start walking. There was nothing between me and this guy except the water. I imagined I would be raped and then drowned and who would know? I think I threw him off guard because I walked hard and fast and looked him right in the eye, glared, daring him to try to do whatever he was thinking of doing - I sent the message that he did not have an easy prey with me - I walked right up to him and as I passed him, said, "Hello. Beautiful day, isn't it?" I didn't wait for an answer, and didn't hear one. I started jogging. The more uphill the climb (and it's all uphill back to the college), the faster I went, until I managed to drag myself into the Athletic Building and called campus security. They came right over, went down to the water, and found no one. Not a soul to be seen. I believe with all my heart that this man had evil on his mind. Two thoughts about this: ladies, please, PLEASE always be aware of your surroundings, and trust your instincts. Here's the kicker - I actually had the thought, the thought really crossed my mind...that I must really have lost weight enough for some guy to want to rape me. Isn't that something? How sad, sad, sad, the saga of lifelong morbid obesity. Thanks for listening - my love to you all - always. M.

You know what...you did the right thing Maureen... they say to always look the person directly in the eyes and to actually say something to them. I remember a police officer saying that once teaching women how to protect themselves. Not that its a big defensive action but he said it throws them off when they have to "confront" their prey. I'm a big chicken at heart and ALWAYS on the look out. My husband is always rolling his eyes because I'm always on alert. "Self preservation" I always say. I've had some strange experiences and have been lucky. I see women walking in the parks by themselves and wish I had the nerve but I swear I would never jog in a desolate place by myself. But that could be due to some of the experiences I've had in the past. I remember being at a friends apartment. It was sorta late at night and I went out to my car to get something. Now my car wasn't far away just sorta down the walkway a bit. I got something out of my car and closed the door. There was this old large car that was sitting in the road waiting with its lights on... female instincts kicked in. I knew something was not good. It was just waiting there, it was FULL of guys about 5 of them. I straightened up and felt my heart just pounding. Then one of the guys stuck his head out the window and screamed "GET HER!!!!" the driver slammed on his gas heading right for me. MAN I took off like a bat out of hell and was able to make it in the apartment door as they were jumping out of the car. I FLEW into my friends house and lucky for me I had alot of guy friends there as well and they all went outside to look for the guys but they took off. Scared the holy crap out of me! I've been followed in my car. Had someone run me off the road late at night trying to get to me. Lots of crazy stuff. So I'm a big chicken. I'm glad you are ok though. Its so scary. YOU BE CAREFUL! especially now... not to scare you but if that guy now knows you go there he may look for you there again! I say don't go alone! I don't want to take away your beautiful sanctuary but I'm scared for you to go there by yourself if he knows now that you go there. Please tell me you'll be careful! Sometimes they watch and wait before striking. I dont' mean to scare you but... ... please be careful! ((hugs)) Elizabeth M

Glad you came out ok here. I will not breakdown what you did right or wrong, rather I will make general suggestions. In my line of work we always say there are two kinds of people in the world. There are wolves and sheep. I'm a wolf and so are the bad guys. You don't have to be a wolf, just don't look like a sheep. How you react determines a lot of what goes down. I have shared before that it isn't that I don't get scared, I just manage my fear and it actually can help because your senses can increase. Your hearing becomes better, eyesight more clear etc. Trust your gut. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it is probably a duck. Be aware, but not paranoid. Body languge speaks louder then you think. Understand that you are not helpless. Your voice can be one of your best tools and there are lots of soft body parts that you can inflict lots of damage on, enough to get away. And, depending upon local laws a can of pepper spray is quite small and might be something to consider taking with you. Too bad this happened, but glad it worked out.

Reenie, I'm so glad that everything is OK now, but what a scare. Listen, break up your routine or take someone with you. Predators count on people having routines and being predictable. I have a feeling that this guy might have seen you there before and was looking for an opportunity. Also remember that rape is not a sexual crime. It's a crime of hate and domination. I'm glad you're safe. Love ya huge! Connie

I'm glad you are O.K after all of that, too!! I think Ken said it best, is be aware & you were!! Doing exactly what you did, most likely kept anything from happening. So I agree with Connie, for sure make sure you change things around a little & make sure you take someone with you or at least take the Pepper Spray as Ken suggested. Your Angel was watching out for You!! Take care & Be Safe. Marilyn, the Bearlady