Mike Must Go

Not our own beloved Mike, but Mike the Date. Met Mike at the theater to see Sideways. I had the day from heck and hadn't had time to eat since breakfast. I'm standing at the concession stand, hoping that they have a hotdog, but no such luck. Mike asks if I want some popcorn and I tell him no. "What?!?! How can you go to the movies and not have popcorn?" I explain that I'm trying to lose the last 20 pounds and am trying really hard to stick with the program. He reassures me that I'm fine and don't need to lose anymore. I told him that I was hoping for a hotdog so I could throw away the bun and get in some protein since I didn't have lunch. This was an invitation for him to start a popcorn campaign. He just didn't want to let it drop. He finally ordered a large bag with butter and kept offering it. He washed it down with a large Diet Coke. I stuck to my water. I think Mike's a great guy and I'd love to be his friend, but I just can't hang out with him if he's not going to encourage good behavior. Connie

forgive me my memory lapse and i have misplaced my scorecard--mike is the (former)wls patient? connie---you are so right about not wanting to surround yourself with poor choices and lack of good behavior!!!!!

Yep, he's trying to sabatoge your success to make himself feel better about blowing it himself. I'm very proud of your courage and resolve to take good care of yourself. Hey, spring's just around the corner and Thumper Wisdom says you're about to become twitterpated - and that poor slob (whoever he may be) ain't gonna know what hit him! Kisses kiddo - Reenie

Popcorn is bad? I've been stuck at the movies with no food and have had some popcorn. Not buttered but plain. I know the hotdog has protein but it also has a lot of fat. I haven't ate a hotdog since before surgery. Hey, I dated a guy who insisted I taste his pecan pie...stuck a forkful right in my mouth. I spit it into a napkin. Talk about not listening to what I was saying...after I told him I couldn't have sugar. I'd have a hard time dating a guy who had WLS and doesn't stick with the program. Not a good situation.

Joan, Popcorn isn't inherently evil, just bad for me. It's one of my trigger foods and I will make myself sick on it so I just don't go there. This was one of the very first things that Mike and I discussed. We both confessed to being carb addicts and I told him that I have to avoid chips and popcorn like the plague. As for Pecan Pie Man, I would have been tempted to stuff a pecan up his nose. You handled it well. Connie

Oh boy! I know what you mean about that popcorn. Just took my son to see the Pooh movie and had popcorn I just kept eating and eating and eating... then caught myself and thought holy cow!!!! yep that was me... I think I even let out a little moo. I passed the bag over to my son who just was delighted to have the bag all to himself! Popcorn has NO pouch limitations...just breezes right on through! Its dangerous!!! most wls patients know this. Its really ashame that he couldnt handle the fact that you were sticking to the program. Im shocked he is so flip about it and trying to force ya to eat it. ugh. not good I dont blame you in the least! ((hugs)) Elizabeth M

OH an by the way... Im sooo proud of you that you are sticking to your guns! Your just inspriational. Today is my anniversary and I thought... I HAVE to stick to the program today!!! your story gave me a little more incentive! Thanks Connie! Elizabeth M

Connie, I'm glad you were able to make the decision to keep Mike in the friend category before you got too attached to the idea of dating him. That's a great sign that you're a mature dater. If I was single, I'd probably be doing the same thing I did before - trying to make things work with whoever I met first or next. I have a girlfriend who is a WLS patient and who has achieved goal, but she hasn't internalized her self-worth yet. She's trapped into still dating losers. It drives me nuts, why can't she see it? Guess it's a good thing I'm not a therapist, apparently I suck at it, and I guess it's also good that I'm not on the prowl right now and doing the same thing! Anyway, keep your head up, there's more out there. In fact, since Mike does have good qualities, and you're likely to continue a friendship with him, maybe you'll meet someone THROUGH him. Stranger things have happened! Jen

Jen, I've had the great fortune to have some awesome relationships in my life and know how wonderful life can be with the right person. I promised myself a long time ago that I would not settle for less than excellence. I don't mean that someone has to be perfect, but I'm not about to settle for mediocrity. Life is just too short. I also have several girlfriends who have had wls and have broken man pickers. I can't believe what they put up with. You're right, so many of us have a very poor sense of self worth. Connie

WHAT??!! OH.... THE OTHER GUY!! WHEW! You had me worried there for a second. I was having visions of irate "Marchers" with torches and sharp objects pounding on my door! Well Connie, I'm sorry that it didn't work out, but it sounds like you are right. If he's going to try to drag you down with him, its time to go. We can make enough bad decisions on our own without outside help. Like you, I'm a carb hound and that's the thing that scares me the most. I congratulate you on staying the course and hope that you find someone or several someones who will support what you are trying to do instead of plant minefields in your path. I'm rootin' for Ya Kiddo!!! Mike