One year ago today for me too..

As I write this, I have tears in my eyes. It's been a long journey, but one I've been fortunate enough to travel. At 5'6" tall, a year ago today, I went into surgery weighing 247 pounds. I was so embarrased at the way I looked, only the surgeon has pictures of how I looked that day. I was a mean, horrible, miserable person. Everything was everyone's fault and I felt a lot of hate towards the world in general. Four years out of a bad marriage, and my fat shielded me against the world. I was fortunate in the fact that I had no complications from the surgery. Did I dump? Yes. When I realized I ate something that didn't sit right in the pouch, I never ate it again. I followed the rules, as I try to do to this day. I wanted to get healthy and feel like I was worthy as a person. I wanted to be admired, to be liked and maybe even someday, be loved. Well, I've come a long way. Today, I am down 105 pounds, went from a size 22 to a size 6, discovered that under all that fat was a physically beautiful woman. When I wake up each morning, I am happy to be alive and I love life. I've realized so much during this one year...more than I could ever put into words. When I wake up each morning, my hand goes to my stomach....my little stomach...I feel my hip bones stick out...and I smile. I am alive again. I silently thank God for the chance I've been given and this little body I now possess. Today, everything I do conveys the joy that I feel about my life. Today I can do things I only dreamed of doing a year ago. I have energy I never thought I'd have. The girls at my daughter's high school call me "model mommy" because they tell me I look like a model. I am more used to my body now, for the better part of this year it seemed to belong to someone else. Men look at me differently. Last year I could have been a contender in the world of singles. This year I am a contender. I am confident in the way I look. At almost 49 years old, I could pass for at least 10 years younger. And then, of course, there's you guys. My support. At times, my lifeline. The only people who could understand how I feel and where I'm coming from. I may not know each of you personally, but you've helped me in more ways than you'll ever know. Reading about your experiences, your opinions, your feelings, has given me insight into so many things....a thank you isn't quite enough. Keep posting and keep sharing. We help each other through our experiences. Thanks for all your support...you guys are the best...and I wish you only greatness and health. Joan

Ah, Joan, what a gorgeous post, thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings so openly and generously. Would that we could all have the chance to meet face to face, to share, to talk, to laugh together in the same room...you ARE beautiful, inside and out. Have a great day. Reenie

Joan, Happy Anniversary! Congratulations on your weight loss! We all have come so far and have changed so much! Alot of sadness has been relieved and replaced by joy!!! It does feel wonderful! I wish you all the best that life has to offer! ((hugs)) Elizabeth M

What a beautiful post, Joan! It's so easy to get caught up in minor negatives such as an extended plateau etc., that we sometimes forget how far we have come and all that we have to be thankful for. Thanks for re-focusing my attention as my own anniversary approaches!! Congratulations and Happy Anniversary!! Mike

Bravo! Beautiful post and what a testament to facing our own harsh realities head on! I just LOVE the "model mommy" title you have, and I have to say, I agree that you look at least 10 years younger than your real age. Dina

WAY TO GO.... CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ANNIVERSARY!