Am I nuts??

As I approach my one year anniversary, instead of being thrilled that I have lost 130 lbs I am miserable that I am still over 200 lbs and my eating is out of control. I feel like I have lost control of my life. When I look at it from an OUTSIDE perspective I am in awe of loosing 130 lbs, but then I think, but I am still obese, will always be the fat chick and am out of control again. I know a few days back several people posted that they feel out of control... how are y'all getting back in control? I want to succeed but I feel like I am self sabotaging!! Come on Marchers, I need your help and I know y'all can come through for me. Do I need a shrink to get me back under control or do yall have a trick that can work for me? That nothing tastes as good as thin feels thing isnt working - I feel like I am too fat to know what thin feels like. (oh woa is me pitty me poor little me poor little me who has only lost 130 lbs. lol) I dont get why I am so unhappy with my success, except that I honestly thought I would be under 200 by my 1 year anniversary. Sherrie 368/237/(rather, 243 cause I gained a few back)/ 168??

I WAS ONE OF THOSE THAT POSTED EARLY ABOUT BEING OUT OF CONTROL. I WENT BACK AND REVIEWED THE "POUCH RULES FOR DUMMIES". I THINK THE SNACKING WAS DOING ME IN. SO I TRIED TO FIND SOMETHING TO DO WHEN THE SNACK ATTACK APPROACHED ME. I AM TRYING TO LOAD UP ON THE WATER THING. I ALSO STARTED KEEPING A DIARY OF THE FOOD I ATE DURING THE DAY AND KEPT TRACK OF THE CALORIES AND TRIED TO STAY LOW. IT HELPED AND I HAVE STARTED LOSING AGAIN. GOOD LUCK AND CONGRATS ON THE LOSS SO FAR!!! YOU ARE A WINNER IN BY BOOK!

Thanks for your response I know that tracking my food always helps I think that will be my first step toward getting back on track. -Sherrie

Sherrie, you're not nuts, you're not alone, HOWEVER, having said that, a little Tough Love is in order here. I was one of the ones who posted a bit ago about feeling out of control with my food. In retrospect, I wasn't "out of control" -- it was more like I was not staying true to my program. That's the key -- you must find a regimen that works for you and you must stick to it. It's not rocket science -- increase level of activity to burn more energy thereby decrease the number of calories-turned-fat. More exercise, less food, healthy choices = weight loss...more importantly, equals HEALTH. I have had an excellent week and all I can tell you is that I redirected all the effort, time and energy I was spending on THINKING ABOUT FOOD and EATING -- all that effort has been redirected to a strong, solid, hour-long work-out at the gym on my lunch hour. I feel so much better physically AND mentally because I've hardly given the scale a thought this week. I had to come to grips with the very real fact that if I sit around and do nothing except feel sorry for myself because I'm not a size 8, I AM sabotaging myself -- first by not enjoying physical health, which translates to mental health; secondly, all that sitting around creates boredom, which makes me want to eat, eat, eat. There's no secret, no magic pill, no fantasy dream that will take care of what we want for ourselves -- only we are responsible for that, not our jobs, our mates, our children -- the level of happiness I achieve in my life can only be a product of the amount of work and effort I put into achieving it. I hope I'm not being too harsh but you just have to slap yourself upside the head, girl! Start with baby steps -- just make a commitment to exercise, 1 day...get through it, then recommit the next day, set tiny goals so that they are manageable and achievable. The only other advice I can give you is to do some soul-searching; I suspect something about your life is making you feel miserable, unfulfilled, and unworthy of success, health and well-being -- or perhaps you feel trapped by something. Take a poke around inside your heart and soul and see if you can connect those feelings to your eating behavior. If I'm way off base, great, glad to hear it...but just in case, you gotta deal with it. I hope I have been of some help to you and I certainly understand what you're going through. It's temporary, if you chose it to be so. Your being "out of control" will last as long as you let it. You have the POWER to change. Heal better (pun intended). Hugs, Reenie

Thanks, Reenie - I appreciate your candor! -Sherrie

Sherrie, one thing that has helped me is to think POSITIVE. Tell yourself that you ARE NOT out of control, that you CAN do this, because you can. Tell yourself that you are a capable and beautiful woman, because you ARE! WOW, look at how terrific you in your latest posted picture! Before I had this wonderful tool of WLS I would tell myself I was too lazy, too dumb, too WHATEVER to lose the weight. Well that is just "stinkin thinkin". It's NOT TRUE. Those negative thoughts can send me running to the refrigerator. So I just don't let them get in my head!! I write down POSITIVE THOUGHTS and read them as often as I need to to keep me believing in myself.Focus on the 130 pounds you lost already...WOW..that is a great acheivement. And you can lose more!!! You can do it!! Hang in there!!!

I will try to get rid of that stinkin thinkin - thanks for the encouragement! -Sherrie

Sherrie, I don't think that you are nuts!!!! I think that you have just lost focus. I read your profile before I responded. Yes, the whole thing. I think you should go back and read the whole thing too. I did this not so long ago so I could reflect on what I wrote and thought back to how I felt when I wrote it there. You will find that you will remember the very point in time when each entry was made. You have come so far. My goodness you have lost 130lbs. that is the size of a seventh grader!!!! You are not out of control I think that we have all had times where we have eaten the wrong foods. Sometimes for days at a time. We are always going to think of ourselves as the fat girls! My daughter tells me all the time...Momma, take of the fat glasses. Some times we just have to remember that our minds have not caught up with the body yet. I believe that the Lord has us all with a wonderful tool. He will also lead us in how to use it. You have so much to be proud of and I bet your son is really proud of you too. Take care of yourself Sherrie, you will find that life is better than you know. Shannon The Irish Lassie 266/150/140 3/17/04

Thanks for those words of encouragement - I love the fat glasses comment!~ I will go back and reread my profile and see if that will remotivate me! -Sherrie

Sherrie, I am right there with you! Honestly. I have lost 113 pounds and although I am thrilled with that I still look in the mirror and see this obese person. In fact I am still severely obese for my height. I am stuck at 221. I snack too thats my downfall. I really try to get a grip on it but its really hard. I'm very thankful that I haven't sabotaged myself enough to gain weight but I really am down about not being under 200 pounds myself. I have this summer to look forward to so I am pulling my energy and incentive from thinking about that. I want to be as thin as I can get by this summer! I am running out of winter (once again) and really want to get this weight off. I haven't worked out in awhile being sick off and on and right now its on! sore throat and icky cold. we are preparing for yet another snow storm here in Delaware SOOOO... i wont get to work out today at lunch again because i want to get out of here (work) before the snow hits. I think when i get home i will do some moderate yoga or something to just get myself moving again. Its incredibly hard. I too feel out of control once again. (yet more control than I had before surgery) so all is not lost! ive been trying to eat normal food (turkey, cheese, chicken) when i get the munchies but sometimes I slip. Try not to obsess about it either because that causes stress and makes it even harder to loose. I tend to do that alot! i notice, for me, if I skip a meal that i always do better. Not saying you should do that but for me that works. Either breakfast or lunch. (you could drink a protein shake instead) I think I am going to do that today. instead of (what I call ) "heavy food" I will just have a protein shake. Maybe try that? Then after you have your shake sit and reflect on how great you will do if you continue to do good today. Its so mental! I struggle all the time with myself and my self control! Hang in there girl! We will get there! I'm right there with you! Be strong and dont ever give up! Elizabeth M