I'm ready to post

Hello each and every single one you. I've missed you all. I have been lurking here reading posts on a limited time. I've been a hermit. I've been having some big changes yet again in my life. nice ones. but big ones. BUT it is my 3 year birthday/annivesary!!!! hard to believe it has been this long. I've maintained between 164 to 167 for this past few years. The lowest after surgery was 157 I was that for a day and I remember that day fondly. I'd LOVE to be 157 someday again. Years ago BS (before surgery) i would laugh at my skinny friends who compained when they would gain 5 pounds and say their clothes didn't fit the same that they felt bloated and fat. HA! I would say. They are bragging. They are complaining about 5 pounds? Idiots! They should weigh 300 pounds to know just what feeling fat is like! They should wear dresses that are big enough to house a family! Then they would Know just what it really is like to feel fat. Well now I'm on their side. If I am 5 pounds over I feel it. 3 years have gone past... One of the biggys in my life this month has been my youngest son (28)moving out. Yes after all these years my 28 year old baby is gone and it is official I am a empty nester. I missed him terribly all that day then cleaned out his old room and painted it a nice bright marigold which translates to bright orange. I love it. It is now my office. I have cool pictures on the cool wall with bright green vases filled with bright pink flowers! I am cool man! I am single! I am an empty nester! Lonely? NO! WAY! Happy??? hell yes! its me the cats, dog and birds. WE are a island in the condo complex! my electric bill is 40 bucks cheaper my water bill has gone down another 50! so. when he moved out I went out and bought a brand new bedroom set for selfish old me. Hadn't had a new one in 35 years. It was being delived in a 2 week period and I wanted to get some nice things done to the room before the new set arraived. I gave my old set away and for that 2 weeks slept on my living room couch. During that time each night after work I would come home put on the old clothes and paint my room. 2 walls are a dark chocolate brown! Awesome and the other 2 are a lighter beigey brown. Then I put up a wall paper boarder around the top painted all the trim white. Put up some new pictures and curtains then had someone come in and put in a brand new wood floor. Thank god for income tax refunds! Finally the new set was delivered. Oh it is so beautiful. That day I put it all together with the new sheets & new spread this bed is bigger! I splurged and bought the finest sheets I could afford! 400 count egiptian cotton. O MY GOD are they awesome! finished everything up then stood in the middle of that room crying. it was quite a moment for me. i couldnt 'sleep in the room it wasnt' mine. finally at 1am i fell asleep and loved every single moment. When I woke up in the morning I made sheet angels in the middle of the bed. so met a new guy. he has a hot fast car. a corvette. he takes me out to dinner. nice pricey places. i get a weeks worth of meals from left overs! i'm enjoying the attention and him. not sure where this is totally going to go but who cares at this point??? i'm happy. so. I've not been on this site to post. This month has been as usual a time when I look back at the past years to what i was and what i am now. when i was on line i would come sometimes and read what everyone had posted for their anniversarys. I'd always think to myself O I've got to write something as good as this one or gee that one had such an excellant point to make. I'm not good at this. But here goes for mine. 3 years ago my life was changed forever. at my rebirth i added extra years tomy life. I became normal sized. 3 years ago I was made confident. I didnt' just have surgery I was given so much more than just being smaller. i was given me. i not only lost weight I lost friends who couldn't deal with the new me. I lost a 4 year relationship that when I am honest with myself wasn't good at all. I lost my closet in a very short length of time it was totally empty. I gained in this too. I gained nice new clothes! I gained the ability to run up my stairs when before the knees didn't work. I gained respect for myself. things I miss. I miss chocolate. I miss some of my old friends. things I like. buying off the rack. sitting in a plastic chair that doesn't have the legs curl up and throw me on the floor. the admiring looks i sometimes get from guys. things i worry about. gaining the weight back. or gaining the weight back. and gaining the weight back. did i mention i worry about gaining the weight back? i cna' tsay that i have a cross addition. i've always known and have alwasy said that food was my adicton and it still is my adiction. it will always be my adicton. i've not gone back to smoking. i don't drink too much alcohol i rarely drink at all. i can't tolarate it. 5 sips and forget it take the keys away i can' tdrive. i'm not addicted to sex but will concider it. opps sorry wheres the delete button? shopping has always been a adiction but it is under control. never was a gambler. i might be more of a work a holic now that i actually have energy. i'm really pretty dull and boring. and happy. happy to be alive. happy to be living a wonderful healthier life. thank you dr A, middlesex hospital, my insurance company who I dont' htink covers the surgery anymore, and to every single one of you here on this board. if it wasn't for all of you i'd not have adjusted as well as i have. love pammy

Pammy!!!!! I'm so glad to see you and so glas you shared. I remember the day I redecorated my son's room.... Ahhhh, what a great memory. It's the spare bedroom now and done in an Asian theme with cool green walls and burgundy silk tapestries and pillows. The new guy sound exciting. Enjoy the ride. Hugs, Connie

Great to hear about all the great stuff going on in your life. You deserve it. Be healthy and happy.... Joanie

Having heard from you, my friend, I might just sleep better tonight-without the fancy-schmancy new sheets! You sound good. I'm glad. I'm presenting on the SG panel at Middlesex on 4/23 - why don't you come? Would love to see you. M.

Pammy So very glad to here from you, We thought something had happened to you. Do not be so quiet for this long!! You know we worry. Glad things are going well for you & you are happy. I agree, enjoy the ride with the new guy!! Take care & don't be a stranger. Marilyn, the Bearlady

Hi Pammy! You go girl! Live it up! Enjoy those men... man... men yes men is better... have a little fun Your room sounds awesome I bet it felt really nice. Glad to hear you are doing well. Best wishes and big hugs! Elizabeth M