Fitting In...
I am a military spouse and we are currently living in Israel. I have to say that when I first arrived here, I thought I would never survive. The women here are beautiful and you would be hard pressed to find an obese person here, even an overweight one. I stood out like a sore thumb!! First, I am white as a ghost, have very blond hair, have an undiscribable accent and at the time weighed 268 lbs. In america, I fit in- not here. After 8 months of living here I was approved for surgery and now at 182 lbs, seem to be more acceptable to these people who are so confused on how I could let myself get so fat (thier words, not mine). I always felt like I had to defend myslef with the same excuse I gave everyone. I had been pregnant 5 times in 5 years and my body never recovered. I had 2 miscarriages and buried my 4 1/2 month old son who died from sudden infant death, causing me great depression and adding to my eating problem (all of this occured over 10 yrs ago). I felt like I had to defend who I was instead of just simply being who I was. One person here told me if my husband really loved me he should have told me I was getting to big. I am not offended by thier comments but I did inform them that I have been married to the same great, very good looking man for 13 years, I have two healthy, smart and beautiful sons and regardless of the size of my jeans, they truly loved me for me. But their view point is we can't love ourselves enough if we do this to ourselves, I don't think they understood the pain behind the punishment. They are much thinner here then we are in america and now that I am getting smaller, I no longer get the looks of distaste or the talking about me while I am right there. I fit in here physically, I fit in in america at any size, and I fit in emotionally at any size in my family- I like fitting in but realize it is not always without judgement. I am lucky for the gifts in my life and thank God for them daily.
What a wonderful post. This time of year always makes me look back at where I have been and where I'm going. I end up being thankful for my faimily, but this year it is even more of a gift. Last year at this time, I was to have surgery, but do to a thyroid issue, had to wait until March. I am so blessed that my health has improved so much since last year. I'm down almost 220 pounds. My blood pressure is now 106/72 vs 139/85 and I could go on with other examples but it is just boring to others.
But I think the real difference for me is how it has changed my relationshipe with my daughters. I have a nine year old and a set of 7 year old twins. Thank God they seem to have their mom's build and are tall and lean. But my example of getting up each morning to work out and watching what I eat has rubbed off on them. I have posted here how I set a goal of running a 10K race this spring, and now my oldest has said she wants to run with me and do the 5K. In addition, the fact that my energy level has gone through the roof, I'm not so tired after coming home from work and I can physically interact with them. Also, while it has never come up, I'm sure at some point they would have been embarassed about their morbidly obese father. As I attended their Holiday program on Monday, my wife had half a dozen people come up and comment on the change in me. ( She teaches at my daughter's school). One of them even used the "S" word. Slim!!!! Now I wouldn't go that far, I'm about 30 pounds from my goal and I'm sure I will need a TT, then I might use the "S" word.
Now that I have rambled long enough I must again comment on your post and your wonderful observations and viewpoint. Keep up the good work and continue to count your blessings.
Well said Dawn !!! It is good to fit in with other people , if they accept us like we are !! It is wonderful that our families loves us for who we are and not what size we are. I've lost 86 pounds and my husband is proud of me , but he loved me and was just as good to me at 255 as he is at 169. God bless you, Judy 
I have not seen you on here in a very long time, and occasonialy wondered how you were getting on. I am glad that things are getting better. You have been through a lot in the past and deserve some good vibes in your direction. As long as you are happy about where you are in life who cares about what others think. I know that is easier for me to say sitting here in the good ol' US of A than maybe for you in your current situation but that is how I feel. My husband was also in the millitary for 6-years and we moved quite a bit so I understand some of the adjustments that you have been having to deal with for the last 8-months and give you kudos for trying to stay positive and get on with what really matters to you. Keep it up and god bless all of our millitary and thier family's abroad. Thank you for the sacrafice.
Leslie
Goodness...you've been through so much! I give you alot of credit for being as strong as you are. People can be so judgemental and cruel, no matter where you are. I think it comes from a very old school of thought---"if you're too heavy just stop eating." If it were that simple, we all would not be on this message board right now! Unlike you, I am divorced and I'm starting to date again. Before my surgery, I was 250 lbs. Now, at 5'6, 147 and a size 8, the world has changed...in some respects. Being slender is an advantage, but finding someone I really want to be with is still tough. I find it better not to tell new people I meet about my surgical experience. I feel like they look at me as a former fatty who is destine to get there again (which I know is NOT true). My 20 year old son was against me having the surgery, and still worries about my health, even though I try to assure him that I've never felt this good. My daughter is a big girl, and I pray she doesn't have to go down the weight loss road I've been on. Teenagers are tough. They do things when they're ready...and she's not ready to commit to losing weight. Now it is easier for me to understand why my surgeon wanted me to have a psychological profile done....a person really needs to be ready for this new body image...and fitting in. Thank you for writing your heartfelt story. You seem like a wonderful person, with a great life and children. You're blessed. Don't forget it. Joan
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