Imposter

Does anyone else feel like a size imposter? When I got into a size 20 from a 26, I was OK with that and it felt normal. When I moved into a size 18, I still kept thinking I wore a size 20. As I moved into 16, I felt like I didn't belong and that I was still supposed to be in 20's and there was some sort of fluke. I kept thinking that I really wasn't a 16, and the sizes were probably marked wrong. Now as the 14s are getting too big and I can squosh myself into a 12, I feel like I'm trespassing into normal people territory and I'm not supposed to be here. I know this is nuts, but I feel like I'm going to get caught wearing a size I shouldn't be wearing by the size police or something. Connie

I've fallen in love with those comfy pajama bottom things. So the hanes brand had these really cute ones look like sweat pants with the tank shirt, bought the pants in a medium, and they are huge on me. I just dont think I should be in a small, I mean come on me in a small, I can wear a junior medium sweat pants, so in the hanes stuff I should have bought the small, but it is soooo weird for me to buy something with the "S" on it instead of the "XL" ~Nicole

One of my favorite people at work came to me yesterday to tell me she was purging her closets and wanted to know if I needed anything. I looked at her like she was an alien, not the illegal kind...the outer space kind. I said, "Huh?" She thought I was insulted and started to back off; I said, "No, Dottie, wait -- what do you mean, you think you have clothes that might fit me?" She then looked at me like I was an alien and said, "Maureen, I'm a size 14 and I know in looking at you that my clothes will fit you." I simply could not wrap my head around this conversation. It's true I am wearing 16s comfortably and can probably get into 14s without too much of a problem, although I haven't tried to yet. But to realize that people see me as almost normal sized after living my entire adult life in sizes 30s, 32s, even 34s...and to not see this change for myself, well...I think I really need to talk to a professional about this. Thanks, Connie, as always for your very insightful post! Have a great day everyone. Maureen

You might be interested in checking out the book "Passing for Thin". Here is an excerpt from the back of the book: "Frances Kuffel had been obese all of her life, coming of age and beyond feeling like a freak. For years, she struggled with her weight until, at forty-two, she lost an incredible 188 pounds. Transformed at last into the "normal" woman she always dreamed of becoming, Kuffel found herself unprepared for life on the planet of the thin. With unflinching honesty and a wickedly dark sense of humor, Passing for Thin is the first memoir to take readers on the incredible journey from fat to thin, shining a light on the shared human experience of feeling, at times, uncomfortable in our own skin." I haven't read it but I've thought about picking it up. Jen

that sounds excellent I will definately check that one out! -Sherrie

Oh, I am so there with you! How many times in our life have we had our spouses ask "Are these new jeans for me???" When in fact the jeans in question are our own? My hubby couldn't believe that those were my jeans and that I could actually wear them without turning blue. I gladly and ever so willingly proved him wrong by putting them on for him! That was a banner day dears, let me tell you! Or how about the one where you send pics to people who haven't seen you in a while and they call on DAYTIME minutes to say DAAAAAAAMN! That's what both my son and a long time friend did. And on the heals of the 'who's jeans' controversy I just felt like I was weighing 120 pounds instead of 220 lbs. I told my hubby to look out, I'm going shopping in his closet next! His response: "I believe it!" L&H, Gayle

yes! its weird fitting into smaller clothes! I didnt know what to think when I put on my smaller size jeans. Oh I was ecstatic dont get me wrong... but yeah... it felt... weird. Like I was hiding something from everyone in the store. 'sigh' just those head games we play with ourselves about our surgeries and our outcomes! Hang in there and CONGRATS!!! Elizabeth M