Angry

I'll share something with you that maybe some of you have gone through, but until this point have not. This past weekend I helped a friend of mine move some stuff out of his house. I qualifiy this by saying this was due to his divorce and it didn't go well. He is a Dr. and now has a much younger girlfriend. So I'm sure having five of his friends going through his Ex's house didn't put her in the best of moods. But, she mentioned to me how good I looked. And then she said to me, " Did you do it the old fashion way or did you cheat and get bypass?" Now, my first comment I wanted to make but didn't was "Yes, I did get bypass, did you want the name of my Dr?". ( She could use it) But, I did respond by indicating that yes, I had bypass and it is the hardest diet I have ever been on. She commented on how fast my weight has come off and I was eager to respond that while it has come off fast, a lot of it has to do with being at the gym by 5:30 everyday. I was pissed at her comments. The reaction to my weight loss has been great and this is my first negative reaction. And just when I thought she had said it all, she told me not to over eat my pouch because she sees people who have everyday. (She is a radio tech). Rather then respond, I just kept walking away. One other note. I attended a college football game and while the tailgate I saw somebody I knew. I yelled at him and shook his hand. I could tell he didn't know who I was. So I asked him if he recognized me, to which he replied he didn't. I told him my name and he about died. The reason this is interesting is because this is my former boss who has since been transferred. Pretty cool.

I would not worry to much about her comments. You have done an amazing job at your loss& she probably doesn't have a clue, that we tried all the other diets int he world before this was our option. Some will never understand. There is no point in ever trying to tell her about it. It certanly is not the easy way out by any means. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving & Enjoy our company instead of letting her words upset you. Marilyn, the Bearlady

Ken, I guess it's no big mystery why your friend has a new girlfriend; his ex is a real peach. You know what they say - Ugly is to the bone and that is one ugly attitude she has. Isn't it great not to be recognized? I think you're doing awesome and I commend your dedication to getting to the gym every day. Connie

Hi Ken. If you spin this a little and realize that her comments are founded in ignorance, meaning she doesn't have a clue, you might be able to let go of your anger and resentment. I have shared with just about everyone the fact that I had the surgery. I'm regretting that now. What success I have achieved thus far is a result of eating the right things and moving my butt, fast, hard, every day. These are the things I didn't do before "the surgery" because I literally couldn't move. And because my hunger was never satiated. So, yes, the surgery gave me that tool I needed and I've taken good advantage of it. But I have been successful because of my mind, the choices I've made and continue to make, as hard as it is. Yes, we can gain this weight back any time, just like any other means of losing and then regaining. We MUST have a healthy mind in order to maintain a healthy body. Let it go. And don't feel you have to tell anyone that you had "the surgery" -- you're responsible for your great success. And don't ever dismiss that. Take care, Maureen

Hi Ken; Maybe she is one of those people who is unhappy with her own life and eases the pain by knocking down the success of others. To me, her comments make her pretty small and not worthy of your time. She's certainly not worth getting angry over although you handled it beautifully!! Unfortunately, ignorance is rampant when it comes to weight-loss surgery. I have been pretty selective when it comes to telling people about my surgery because I don't want to deal with ignorant B.S. like that. I'm fairly new on this board, but from what I've read, you've done a terrific job and should be really proud. I keep a pair of my old size 56 jeans in my closet for when I get angry or frustrated. It's amazing what a morale boost I get just looking at them!! I can invite a friend in and still have room to spare! The bottom line in all of my rambling is: don't let one fool get you down.....celebrate your success and enjoy your new life!!!!!! Mike

I guess I must be surrounded by people who have a bit more tact than that, or I open my mouth and let them know what *I* think before they can put their foot in theirs because I haven't had anyone say anything like that to me yet. I'm thankful because I'd no doubt verbally shred them into confetti if they did. Dina - who has little patience with idiots

Thanks for all the comments. It was just so shocking to me as people have been so happy for me and so kind. I did let it roll off my back and justified by the fact that I'm friends with her Ex and that she is probably not happy with herself. Combine that with the fact that my Dr. used to do things with my friend and his wife socially and that she is a radio tech who does lots of swallow tests on a weekly basis. I just wanted to see how things have been for others out there. If she wants to think I took the easy way out, so be it. At least I got off my fat ass, took a risk and made a choice to change my life. I was lucky, but I was a timebomb who could have left a wonderful wife and three little girls without a husband and father. I would do this all over again if I had to and not have to think twice. My quality of life has gotten so much better, I won't let one comment from a sad women bother me.

Just chalk it up to her ignorance.

Welp that just bites. Your there helping your friend and she comes out with the bitterness or just plain stupidity. She was probably trying to be "im big too and comfortable saying what I'm thinking and will "kid" around about it" not realizing that what she is saying is just ignorant not funny and not what you are thinking. Make any sense? I have been lucky as well. BUT I think that is because I am automatically on the defense. Someone will ask me "SOOO how much have you lost now??" or "what did you do?" etc... and I say oh... well I have had gastric bypass and it was hard and I go to the gym every single day and really have to be careful of what I eat or I will get sick. Even though I do splurge and its so hard not to splurge on the junk and overeat isnt it?? They just sorta look at me and agree that its hard and get my point I guess. Sometimes they will ask "can you eat sugar and junk food???" I say yes I certainly can and while some makes me sick others dont and I can overeat just like all the rest and gain weight. They just get that its not the "easy way out" that it is something that helps not cures! I think it comes out all in one breath now. I pretty much have it memorized!!!