I am the Nursing schools science experiment...

Hey, I can so relate to all of you all. I am in nursing school and after the surgery I have been subjest to many comments, some nice and some horrific. I had my surgery on March 8, 2004. Many classmates had not seen me over the summer, and by mid fall people several fellow students I had not seen since spring semester said they didn't know who I was till I started talking. I had a guy ask me out at school. My husband who also attends the same nursing school was standing right beside me. I had to answer the guy with, "Sure, but can I bring my husband along". (Hubby shot coke out of his nose!) I have several guys ask what the secret to getting thin was? "Um, I dont eat anymore". I had a girl say to during a break, Dang, you were so fat, I mean really fat, and then she nudged another girl and said "You know what I mean". I wanted to crawl under the break rooom table. My friend spoke up and turning her head sideways said, in a very quiet whispered voice "Its the chemo and she is touchy about it" Oh my gosh, I was rolling, I have not laughed so hard in a long time. Fellow students ask horrible question while we are in the hospital setting like "Were you on this floor when you for your weight reduction surgery", right infromt of other nurses and doctors. I have had instructors come and sit with a group of us at lunch and ask, "Are you going to be able to finish the whole chicken breast". People actively watch to see how much I will eat per setting. At the risk of horrific dumping, I have wanted to cram the whole chicken breat down and announce, "Damn that was so tasty, I am going back for another." I have had faculty come up to me during a med/surgical rotation and ask if I will show my scars. (I politely say sure, but only if you are willing to take off your top and show 'em your boobs".-Almost got kicked out of school over that) I've been asked if I am going to get all the baggy sking removed(How do they know I have beggy skin? I keep it covered.) I sometimes feel like a medical experiment in progress, I love my classmates but I feel like I am in a fish bowl of my own creating by being open about the surgery. It would have been impossible to keep the surgery a secret. I went to another town and had surgery but had several fellow nursing students doing thier clinical and were my nurse while I was in the hospital. Think of it like this, Imagine your co-worker, or boss coming to the hospital and trying to help you (half dressed) to the toilet the day after your surgery. It makes it hard to find casual conversation in the weeks that follow. The dean of the Nursing school took me aside and patted my on the shoulder and said, "Hun, I am so proud of you for losing all of your weight". I think it was a complement, but I had an icky feeling afterwards. It was almost like she was welcoming me to the thin peoples club, but I never before realized when I was fat that I was not a member. I like the complements, but I am shy about how to accept them, I almost feel unworthy, it is super hard to put into words. Alot of times I will just look down at the floor and shuffle my feet until they are done. Any suggestions for the out of bounds comments I get? How to deflect them or handle them? I often use humor but at times, I want to be known for me, not the fat person that I was, but the person I am trying to become. Christy Rny 3/8/2004 (264/156 now/-108/126 goal)

Wow do I hear you!!! Its hard to accept the compliments and it does feel like you are being accepted to the skinny peoples club. Its just strange. I always get asked "do you feel better?" DUH What a stupid question. Why even ask that question I always say "of course I feel better I weigh 109 pounds less!" Just strange little requests and questions and comments... Enough is enough! And MAN I really feel bad for you being in the medical field! They are probably having a field day with you and not even thinking about your feelings and how private it is for each individual! People tend to think its open field day on us because they know we had surgery. I am going to start to respond to people that ask and say things all the time that its really personal and I feel a little uncomfortable talking so much about it. People can be insensitive without even realizing it. Especially when it comes to weight!!! sheesh! I wish you the best and hang in there! I know how you feel!!! ((hugs)) Elizabeth M 334/225/??? -109 lbs

i hope i dont get out of line here, but i'm a nurse and i'm wondering what kind of nurses your classmates are going to make by the comments they made to you. that is just horrible. just because you lost weight doesnt mean that they can now say "oh you where so fat" that is mean. you where that person once, just because your no longer as big doesnt mean the comments dont still hurt. for me i always wondered what people thought of my weight, but i'm glad they dont come out and say it like that. i hope they dont talk to their patients in a rude manner someday. btw...when do u graduate?

Hello, I dont think you are out of line in the least, I agree with you and I have often thought the same thing about my classmates. We are going to be Nurses because we are kind and sensitive. We are constantly grilled about being kind, compasionate, and super sensitive to patient needs. I will say that today I had clinical, and I ran into a few people that I went to community college with. They went through the 2 year program and are already out practicing. One of the ladies that I ran into Debra, was so happy and suprised at how good I looked she started crying. She had remembered back a long time ago when I started talking about surgery and she was so happy for me today. It was nice, genuine, and loving. If luck holds out, I will have my BSN by next Christmas. 13 Months, Yeah Baby...... Hang in there! Christy

Christy, *I* am not loving your classmates. They sound like catty B@%@es. And I'd suggest that when you have a class on HIPAA you ask lots of loud questions about it. http:// www.hhs.gov/ocr/hipaa/ Jen

Hi Christy, I ran into a couple of people that I haven't seen in months today. One of them didn't recognize me. She kept saying, "Oh my God, you're so beautiful!" over and over again. I wanted to tell her that I was just as beautiful 100 pounds ago. I didn't know whether to be embarassed or flattered. I finally decided to be flattered. She meant no harm and was genuinely happy for me. I did finally tell her that she was embarassing me and she stopped. The other woman who was with her was also really happy for me. There's some irony here. She had lost about 50 pounds on Weigh****chers a couple of years ago. When she found out that I was going to have wls, she tried to talk me out of it. She tried to convince me to go to WW with her and give it another try. That would have been my 8th attempt at WW so I declined. Hey, 7 failed attempts is enough for me to learn a lesson. I'm no dummy. Anyway, today I felt bad for her because she kept telling me how good I looked and how proud of me she is and then told me that she had gained back about 30 of the 50 pounds that she'd lost. I still think she looks great and was really glad that she wasn't catty or viscious like some people have been. I guess my attitude about people's comments has been that I'm just going to take them as compliments and move on. I think that people are really trying to be supportive and encouraging. It's just that sometimes they act like oafs. Big Hugs, Connie

I know how you feel, I get a lot of the same response. I started out at 510 lbs and now weigh in at 330. What people don't seem to realize is that the only thing that has changed about us is the outside, we are all the same inside. I have had several off of the wall comments, and at first I didn't know how to take them either. I am proud of what I have done, so now if someone makes a comment like that I make sure that they know that I didn't appreciate it. People want to know what has happned to you, or see your scar, or know about excess skin because they are nosy. Plain and simple. If someone asks me a question about it and I am not comfortable answering I just tell them that it is none of their business. I find that the only other people who have any right to ask such questions are fellow WLS patients because we use it as a comparison.

Connie, You are a doll. I totally agree! Keep up the great work, you deserve it. Heck we all do! Kudos! Christy

Yikes! I admire your ability to hold your tongue. No doubt I'd have popped off with more about them flashing their breasts! Of course, I'm kind of an "opposite" girl. When someone says something nasty like that, I up the ante and make it even more ridiculous. (i.e. "You were REALLY FAT!" with my response of "Yeah, I bet it was tough being around such an enormous lard @ss so much! Poor you!" I have no class...... Dina

DINA, You are a trip. I love your sense of humor! It is often times very hard to indeed keep my tougue, but it is even harder to present the dignified character that Upper level Nursing students should show. It is sometimes hard to not say off the wall things(Ex: booob reference). I am a very sensetive person, I can nevver hide my feelings and tend to care too much. I turly wich I could say what the heck (WTF) more often and not be bothered. I will say, in my favor; Being such a caring and sensetive person, I will make a good Nurse. Yesterday, In clinical, I had a patient that did not realize she had a bowel movent, I felt very bad for her and tried every way posssible to make her feel better about it and about the fact that I was having to clean her rear end as well as giving her a bed bath. I went back later to tell the lead Nurse that I found it strange that she had a lack of sensation and wanted to let someone else know. I told the Nurse that I tried my best to make her not embarrassed and to put her at ease. The nurse replied "You are sensitive", "You will burn out real fast" I asked her why she said that and she stated, "Because you will end up caring too much, you will be too kind, you will give too much and you will take the job too serious". "In short you will make a fine Nurse", "You will be good at it, I watched you today, and I like what I see". -----HOLY Crap Bat Man! I have never gotten such a nice comment. It was like winning the Lottery. I have for several months now agonized over whether I will make a good Nurse. Most of my Friends Including my Husband are "Hot Shots" they know the answer almost before it is asked, they are right on the money. I am not that fast, or dazzeling. But I am tops at giving comfort. I am persistant and will advocate for my patients to get them the best care. I dont give up. When Life hands you the worst, I will be at my best to make you feel better. I had better get back to the paper that I am writing or I wont get to be a nurse if I funk out..... Hugs all. You are so special and safe to be around. I know that I can come her and find understanding, comfort, humor and encouragement. Christy 155 pounds as of this AM.. Whaoo baby, Its like that!