Please Help

Hello all... I just wanted to take a few minutes to write a quick post and plead for support and advice. I am so thankful for this March board. I have never posted before however I come here often for support. I feel comfoted by the few posts that I have read tonight - it seems that I am not alone in my feelings and concerns... But here is the deal: I am frustrated at my slowing of weightloss - in fact, I even go up and down around 3 pounds and it stinks. I feel so alone, I feel like I have noone to talk to and basically noone cares or wants to validate my feelings. I try to talk to my family, but all they can say is that I am doing "fine" - well, I don't feel fine. I am irritated that I haven't lost any weight in SEVERAL long weeks. I feel like I can eat too much although I don't let myself. But I am hungry most of the time. I feel sometimes that I shouldn't be able to eat a whole yogurt and not feel statisfied. Or if I eat a whole lean cusine, I feel bad. Bottom line - I don't want to be a failure. My sister had the surgery about 5 years ago and she looks amazing. I started out at 333lbs and now I weigh 232. I still would like to lose another 50lbs. I need to go to the gym - I admit that has been something I have been horrible at... however I work late everynight and when I have put in 10 hour days, I just want to relax... I just need to do it... Another thing, I called my doctor, but honestly the aftercare sucks and they tell me things are fine. I asked for an x-ray to make sure my stomach was okay but they said everyone wants an x-ray and I could not have one... gosh - if i just knew everything was okay inside I think I would feel better. Anyways - thanks for listening. If anyone has any advice, help, ideas, etc... I would so appreciate it.... Thank you!!

Jennifer, Due to some medical problems, I have not exercised as expected..the weight still came off. I did not measure my food... the weight stilll came off. No matter what I did I still lost weight. Now things have changed. I find I mus****ch more what I eat,drink the water as required, make sure I eat 3 meals and get the protein. If you do not do the formula, you will not loose any more weight. I think I had it very easy and it is now time for me to do the work if I want to loose more weight.

Jennifer, First off you've done GREAT!! Don't beat yourself up over a couple of weeks long stall. Sometimes, and you know this, the body needs a chance to catch up and rearrange some stuff. Second...you need to make the time to work out...walk...go to the gym...at home turn on some Music that makes you want to get up and DANCE ... something...but get your body moving. Third...Give us a normal day's menu and maybe we can put our heads together and help you jump start your weight loss. Remember we are supposed to do protein 1st, then veggies, then carbs. This far out we sometimes forget that protein is still our best friend. Are you doing shakes? I still do 2 sometimes 3 a day. Hang in there! {HUGS} Va

Jennifer - It's incredible but we are running right around the same weight right now only I started out 8 lbs less than you. I'm having the same stall as you and feel just as miserable. Only difference is that I'm walking every day (with a few exceptions here and there) and for an hour at that. My biggest problem right now is that I am able to eat more than I should, I feel, and the last few days I've wanted to eat everything in sight. I never grazed before but for some reason I am just wanting to gnaw through my arm because I want to eat all the time. I don't even want to share what my caloric total was for the last couple days. Too much is all I will say. Nothing I *should* gain on, but knowing me I would be the one who would. I am never satisfied with a yogurt. In fact, it just slides right through and about all it does for me is provide my tongue with a tickle. My pouch started out at 4 oz and now it is much larger. I can eat a whole tuna fish sandwich (with low carb bread, of course). I can eat a whole half a canteloupe. I can eat all but 3 bites of a double decker taco supreme. And I ate a whole $1.00 McDonalds double cheeseburger when I was famished last week. (I don't do fast food often, but it was a hard week and I gave in.) I myself am struggling with my annoyance over my appetite and the size of my pouch. It's always been an issue with me, and I feel a little cheated on that fact. I wish I started out with that stinking 1/2 oz pouch so many folks get nowdays. But I don't. I have a much larger one, and I have to learn to live with it. I have to be more dilligent than other people who have the surgery do. I can't go eating cheeseburgers and tacos all the time. Yet that is what I want to do right now. I didn't have those food issues for 7.5 months and all the sudden I'm feeling the anxiety over wanting to have all the bad things I shouldn't have. I hope I'm not too much of a downer. I know how you feel and I'm going through much of the same things. Only thing I know is I'm damned and determined to get to 150. I have some cukes and tomatoes marinating right now and will be loading my pouch with those every time I want to eat the wrong thing. I will be going to the store and getting some apples to eat for the times when I don't want cukes. I'll find a way.....and you will too. We just have to weather this storm and not let our disappointments sour the whole experience. Dina

Dearest Jennifer, first of all, I congratulate you for mustering up the courage to reach out to us with your very first post! I remember when I first found this group of incredible people, about a month before my surgery, and I lurked for about 3 weeks, just absorbing all the wonderful information and caring and sharing that was the nucleus of this board. I wanted so to post my first "hello" and share with these guys how TERRIFIED I felt at my impending surgery. I rememeber that fear and intimidation, all founded on years and years of feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. I finally posted about a week before my surgery, and the response was tremendous! This board and these incredible people are as responsible for my success thus far as anything I've done on my own. You are NOT alone! Stick with us and we will continue to pull each other through all the plateaus and any other rotten thing that life will throw at us. Having said that, it seems to me we are all at the same place...slow to no weight loss, feeling nervous about food, how much of it and what we can eat now, AND (and I think this is very important)...trying to come to terms with living life in these new bodies! It's not so long ago that no matter who I talked to, they couldn't keep their eyes off my very protuding stomache! I would try to engage people in conversation and try to make them keep their focus on my eyes and what I had to say, but there was this perverse fascination with how FAT I was, especially around the middle. I lived that way for years and years. It doesn't happen anymore. I am respected now. People compliment me on what I'm wearing, on the way my eyes look or my hair looks. I am dealing with this as best I can, accepting that people do not respect FAT people and, in fact, FAT people are pretty much loathed and treated as if they are taking up valuable space in the world. My MIND is still the same, but that doesn't matter. My body is not offensive anymore and so I am treated differently, treated with respect and dignity. What I'm trying to say is, DEAL with ALL of it. Don't cheat yourself out of trying to make sense of it all. If you are not getting the support you need from friends and family, do whatever you have to do to get the support you need. GO TO WLS SUPPORT GROUPS! Do you have a support group and have you regularly attended? This is CRITICAL to your continued success. I feel your pain, my friend, but get up, get going, and do what you have to do to feel the power of your success...keep going. And please follow Martha's advice -- post a day or two worth of the foods you're eating and let's see if we can all try to help make sense of it -- it will help all of us. Take care. Remember, you are definitely not alone. Maureen

Good Morning Jennifer, I hope that this morning has you looking at things a different way. It seems like reading your post says to me that you know what todo its the putting it in action that your having a hard time with. I think you were smart to ask for a xray. I've thought of asking for on myself sometimes! Did the doctor ask you some questions before he told you no to them? Maybe after asking those he knew as far as your tummy tool is your fine. I would suggest that you talk to your physic doctor too. All these changes are hard enough, yet wonderful, for us. The physic doc might be the one who can help you learn how to deal with alot of the issues you talked about. What about your dietician? When I started with the hunger that wouldn't quit and some of my old cravings I talked with both my pyhsic & dietician. Both of them helped in their own ways. One trick that has helped me my dietician told me that before meals to drink 8oz of water quickly. than wait 15 minutes then eat my meal. It really does help. The meal lasts longer for me & I feel full. I also every night look at what I have planned for my breakfast, lunch, & dinner for the next day. Then I go to the store for anything I might not have., I pack my lunch daily but if for some reason I've overlooked something & need to buy lunch I go to subway or someplace were they have healthy choices. Sure you can get some healthy choices at fast food places like MickeyD's but there are too many other bad ones and smells that would make it that much harder to stick with it. Why put yourself through that? Keep up the good work. Don't beat yourself up over the bad. Remember the rules of the pouch and love what you've done so far for yourself. You've lost alot of weight!That is awesome! If you hadn't have had the surgery where do you think you'd be now? I know I'd not be wearing my size 14's that I love so much AND are getting too baggy!!!!! Your a smart woman, your recognizing the problem, your looking for help. Please let us know how your doing? Good luck & god bless, Pam

Jennifer, Congratulations on reaching out. I've read everyone's posts & you have got the cream of the crop on your side!!! I've been a "slow loser" since the beginning & dealing with it is a day to day struggle. But I try not to let it get me down & bask in the joy of how I feel compared to 7 months ago. It is very hard to not compare yourself to others that are doing twice or three times as good as you. I go to support groups twice a month & there is a fellow Marcher there that had her surgery 5 days after me & she has lost over 150 pounds compared to my shakey 78. It is so discouraging but I know this......I am consistant in losing 5 pounds & then staying the same for 3-4 weeks. I don't obsess over the scale. I usually weigh myself on Friday mornings & sometimes I even forget. I even forget my anniversary date sometimes. I am trying to concentrate on how wonderful I feel, how my sense of style has returned & how I love to shop for clothes now, how I'm going through all the different size clothing I saved for all these years & finally getting use out of them. I feel wonderful, I love people commenting on my new outfits everyday & I have to push those feelings of doubt out of my mind. I will get there & so will you. Do all you can do to make it happen. I'm drinking 72oz of water a day faithfully (just upped it from a faithful 60oz), I take all my pills daily, I drink my two protein shakes a day (could do better & make it 3) & I go to Curves faithfully 3 times a week & go 3 times around instead of 2 (this is another area I could improve on, perhaps go to a regular gym & work out like a maniac). So I do have room for improvement, do you? Ask your self what more you could do & then do it. You are in control to a certain degree & you can always do better. Good Luck, Ellen RNY 03/26/04 315/240i****5 PS....I also wanted to mention what great support you will find here on the boards. I can not tell you how much I enjoy reading Dinka Doo & Reenie B.'s posts (Happy Girl too). The three of them are real inspirations. Dinka Doo is one of the funniest people I've ever not known personnally, ha ha & Rennie B., you should be an author. You write beautifully & have such ceribral thoughts it is amazing. You should cash in on this talent of yours!!

Jennifer, We are right around the same weight ^ yes I feel I can eat more now then when I started out. Everyone that has had this surgury befor me say this is the period that we have to really choose to stay on track. The appetite comes back & you have to fight the urges to go back to old habbits. You have done great & will continue to do great. Just don't give up. Keep doing what you have been doing. But you have to drink the water. I haven't been very good at it either ^ when I started drinking more of it I started losing again. Hang in There this will pass & you will continue to lose. Marilyn, the Bearlady Bullhead City AZ (3/15/04 RNY 115lbs gone)

Jennifer, Congratulations on making the century club! You have lost 2/3 of your excess weight in a very short period of time. The loss cannot continue at that rate, and will naturally slow down, but WILL NOT STOP. Plateaus will happen, even for a month at a time, but the loss will start again. The great part is that you are at the point where each pound lost shows up more than it used to, so from an external observer's point of view, your loss may appear to be SPEEDING up! I also work a long hour, stressful job and it is hard to carve time for me. Don't beat up on yourself or be a perfectionist about it. Just do what you can. Park a bit further from the door and use the stairs when you can. It is natural to be eating more, especially soft foods. I feel like I am eating as much as I was preop, but I know I'm not. I tend to eat one almost full-size meal and small portions the rest of the day. I get the muchies a lot and keep SF popcicles on hand for those occasions. Thanks for posting. You are not alone. This journey is a real emotional rollercoaster! Joy -72