The "Normal Life" 3 Year Reflections

3 years post- op........DAMN! It seems like only yesterday, yet it seems like decades ago. 3 years ago at this hour, I was in the recovery room........I don't think that I'll ever forget my first thought upon waking up........I'M ALIVE!! How prophetic that thought turned out to be! I re-joined the living that day. So, where am I at 3 years post-op? On the negative side: 1) I haven't gotten to my desired weight and I gained a bit from my all-time low. Well......my body is serviceable at this weight and that ideal gives me a target to shoot for! 2) When I lost all of the weight, my problems didn't disappear. This was my great fat guy fantasy! Well, guess what fool......Normal folks have problems too. It's just that all of that fat over-shadowed everything else in my mind. 3) Nobody mistakes me for Brad Pitt....another fat guy fantasy, but one I thankfully didn't take seriously! LOL Now for the positive side of the ledger: Visits to the doctor no longer put me in a cold sweat; I can join a large social group without feeling that everyone is looking at me with pity or disgust (or both); I no longer fear the dreaded "tight booth" at restaurants; Public transport no longer strikes fear into my heart; speaking of "Heart......I'm no longer constantly worrying about my health and whether my next trip up a long staircase will bring on "THE BIG ONE"; I no longer start sweating profusely when the temperature indoors or out gets to 70 degrees.......I can go on like this for hours and it's all stuff that all of you experience, so let's distill it all down to 2 words....NORMAL LIFE!!!! While flipping through the channels a few nights ago, I stumbled upon a show which I had previously managed to avoid (although I had no choice but to be aware of).......The Simple Life. As you know, it stars Paris Hilton. As far as I can tell, Paris Hilton's only claim to fame is too much money and too much bad behavior. Only in America can a rich bimbo with no common sense get her own TV show!! In my opinion, wealth which is not tempered by the disipline required to attain it is more dangerous than a loaded gun. Why do we Americans waste so much time following the lives of waste products like this?? Oh well......I digress.......the reason I brought up the subject of "The Simple Life" is that my own life has become a reality show which I call "The Normal Life"!! I find that living a normal life is sometimes as baffling to me as attempting to work a real job is to Paris and her fellow bimbo Nichole! I still find myself reacting to situations as a fat guy instead of a normal guy. This old dog apparently does not learn new tricks very easily! This is not a constant problem. Most of the time, I react as a normal guy would.....but sometimes, seemingly out of nowhere, the old reactions come into play. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever completely accept the new reality?? Of course, it's only been 3 years and I've got to overcome over 4 decades of behavior!! Maybe I'm being a bit too impatient. What do you think Marchers?? Do you find that sometimes your life is a paradox? The bottom line in all of this verbal spew is that despite the paradox and the occasional disappointments, post-op life is good. I thank you all for being here to support me for these 3 years. You've certainly smoothed over many of the potholes on my road to normalcy. Thank you my friends and please keep this board alive with your input. Mike

You are so funny...and speaking of funning, I am remembering on that 4th day in the hospital - remember how you, Kim, and I formed that bond and we walked that corridor...Kim and her sister, me and my Jim, you and Abby...sometimes together, sometimes passing each other by like a couple of Andretti's on the race course - and on that 4th day, we could not be released until we had swallowed down every bit of that 1 oz. of Carnation instant breakfast...well, I was headed into your room to say goodbye when a nurse stopped me to say that you had already left. "He slugged that drink down so fast, I can only imagine how badly he's puking right now." I laughed until I cried - and then I worried. Mike, you have got me watching your back for as long as you'll have me - I wish we could see each other monthly like we were able to manage last year; just know that I am always watching out for you and want the best for you - you know where to find me, how to find me, and that will never change. Be well, my friend. And listen - Brad Pitt ain't got nothin' on you...Love, Maureen

Thanks as always for watching my back Dear Friend......I also miss seeing you at the monthly meetings. I'm sure that at least a couple of meetings coincide with my vacations and other time off from work. Let's see if we can work out some scheduling....it's been too long since I've attended a support group and way too long since I've seen you. As for that Carnation Breakfast in the Hospital.......Yeah, that was not one of my brighter moments!! All that registered in my mind was "DRINK THIS AND YOU CAN GO HOME"!!!!! Unfortunately, the part about "sipping it slowly over the course of an hour" didn't register!! I just wanted to get the hell out of there. Well.......I wasn't doing much puking, but I was pretty damn unhappy (Belching and Farting up a storm) for the rest of that afternoon. My dear wife had a few caustic comments, but it turned out to be a good object lesson. I paid a lot more attention to post-op detail after that!! The way things look now, a day supervisor job will be opening up late this year due to retirement and it looks like I may have a good chance to get it. If that all works out, I'll be on a day shift by our 4th anniversary and I can start attending SG meetings regularly again. Thank you for the thousanth time for your continued support and friendship. Mike

Hey Mikie Great Words!!! I still have a week to come up with some decent words to put to this board. I only hope they will be as entertaining. We have all had those ups & downs as we stumbled through these 3 years & Wow, it does sometimes feel like yesterday. Thanks for your update. Marilyn, the Bearlady

Thanks Marilyn, Don't fret about the words you use. We like you for who you are and what you have to say.....not the particular words you use to say it. What's important is that we all stay in touch and support one another. This journey is much easier when others are here when we fall down to pick us up and dust us off. It seems like when things are lagging on this board, you are here to keep things going and prod the rest of us to get back to posting. Just be you, Marilyn......That's plenty good for me. Mike

I love your post Mike. I know what you mean about living the "normal life." I remark often how I both feel normal and yet NOT normal. I couldn't have put it better than you. Especially the part about that media ***** Paris Hilton!

Thanks Dina; Yes.....it really gets a bit schizophrenic at times in Mikey World! "Let's see......is Mike going to be Normal today or is the Fat Guy running the show......Can't decide.....well, let's let both of them play and see what happens!!" It's always great to hear from you Dina, stay well and please stay in touch! Mike

I'm betting on you living a normal life long before Paris lives a simple life. There are still so many nay sayers about this surgery and just once I wish they would take a peek at this board. Of course there are risks, setbacks and inconveniences, but how can someone negate a procedure that allows a vital, vibrant man to go up the stairs without fearing a heartattack? My life is a paradox. Somedays I find myself feeling as big as a house and other days, I forget that I ever had a weight issue. The other day I ran into someone I haven't seen in a couple of years. She kept ranting about how I look and I couldn't fingure out why she was so effusive with the compliments. It wasn't until several minutes after we parted ways that I realized she was talking about the weight loss. Maybe that's normal. Hugs, Connie

Thanks Connie; I'm glad to know that it isn't only me living this bi-polar post-op existence!! Tell me this, do you occasionally find yourself turning sideways to slide through a space which is more than large enough for you to walk normally through??!! This happens to me a lot!! My wife is forever teasing me about "sucking in my gut" to pass though a more than large enough space!! I guess that I'll eventually get the hang of this body, but it still hasn't happened yet!! On the subject of the raves of the person who hadn't seen you in a long time......I'm not suprised at her reaction. A look at your before and after pictures is a look at the butterfly emerging from the chrysalis!! One of the most enjoyable aspects of communicating with other post-ops is the transformation everyone goes through. Ever notice how the "after" pics are always "SMILEYER" (is that a word? smiley, smileyer, smileyest!!)?? As for the the risks and setbacks of this surgery, I totally agree with you that the nay-sayers are doing their nay-saying from a position of ignorance. This surgery was worth all of the risks and all of the effort both pre and post-op!! I now have a life where previously, I had an existence....and not much of one at that. Thanks again Connie for your wit, wisdom, friendship and support....it's what keeps me going on those bad days. Mike