Trapped in my mind to my body

Saturday i was shopping and i realized i was still looking at size 26 clothes. I wear a 18 and alot of 16's but yet i don't see my body as different as it was at a size 26. I even picked up a pair of size 16 pants and thought to myself, "this is huge" And i felt like i have not lost enough to make a differance. There are moments i feel good about the weight loss, but i feel alot of times i haven't lost enough, that it will never happen for me. Friday night my boyfriend made a comment to me as he pulled in to a dairy queen and i said no i didn't want anything from there, he said "come on i need to fatten you up" I have never had anyone tell me i needed to fatten up before. I am only 50 lbs from my goal, but like that is so much, and that it seems impossible to happen for me. I am so afraid to fail at this. Does this all sound crazy? AM i losing my mind along with weight?

Oh boy, I feel the same way!! I still consider myself a fat chick. In the office the other day my boss said this aint over til the fat lady sings, and I stood up and busted loose with a high c - most people just laughed but the guy next to me said sit down you aint the fat lady. That floored me!! Ive spent so much time as the fat lady it never occured to me that I might not be. I still think I am gross looking with or without clothes but I will sometimes see myself in the mirror and I am startled at how much thinner I am. I have heard of people that have this surgery and 5 years later still feel like they are dressing a barbie doll. I just wish I could get over fat brain syndrome! -Sherrie

I don't know what to do in the clothes store. If I see pants I think I like, I pick out three consecutive sizes, starting with a "safe" size, a possibly realistic size, and a 'no way will my fat $%@ fit in that' size. I take all three into the fitting room. I put the safe size on, and it's dumpy in the rear, and baggie in the thighs. I put the possibly realistic size on, and it's ok... maybe a little baggie in the back but with a little overhang in the waist- but not uncomfortably TIGHT. And then I put the no way size on, basically for ha has. It might not be pretty (leastways not without a shirt or sweater to blouse over the pronounced overhang at the waist...) but the 'no way' size fits my butt & legs better. If I can get away with it, I'm going for the no ways 95% of the time. I am still trying to get as much useful time with the clothes that I buy as I can. Starting at "possibly realistic" and DEFINITELY at "no way", I look at the leg hole and can NOT believe I'm going to be able to get them up and buttoned. Sometimes I pull clothes out of the dryer and as I'm folding them, I can't help noticing how much less fabric there is, and I think about how much easier normal size people have had it all this time - I'm starting to figure out how they managed to cram a week's worth of clothes into a carry-on bag. Most of the time I don't see the change in myself. I did for awhile but I haven't lately. I can feel the difference, though, when I lay down at night, or wrap up in a towel after a shower. Although I don't always see it, I know my body is smaller all around. I'm "only" 30 pounds overweight now. I've never "only" been 30 pounds overweight, for as far back as I can remember. I know I feel better even if I don't always see it. I'm confident that it will come in time. It's only been six months! When I think about it, I've lost 33% of myself in 2% of my lifetime. I think it's ok if I don't always "see" it. I think I'll be ok.

The mind is so much slower than the rest of my body! I look at my clothing now and am SHOCKED at how small it looks, a size 14 is NOT small but my brain says HOLY CRAP WHO IS WEARING THAT???? I guess all those years of 26's and 28's warped more than just my car seat huh? I have days where I think OK...this is it I cannot get any smaller or I will look ridiculous and other days where I am like...oh man I gotta loose 60 more pounds...UGH...my brain is fighting me every day! Hang in there! Nic 291/186/???

From a guy's point of view...I have a lot of the same issues with clothes. I was given a LOT of hand-me-ups from my support group, and I sorted them into various sizes and packed away the clothes that made me chuckle and think to myself, "Yeah...someday..." Six months later and 183 pounds down, and I'm wearing those clothes...but every time I pick up a shirt or pants, I still think, "There's NO way this is going to fit." They still do, though. When I shop, I have to believe the sizes, though. My shirts are either 2x or 1xl these days. If I had to pick them out of a lineup, I couldn't, so I have to trust the sizes they list. I still can't think they'll fit, though. The funny thing is that I was in denial about my size for several years. At my peak, I was well over 500, but when I got to 350, I could look in the mirror and think to myself, "THERE'S where I always thought I was." I knew I was big, but I never knew I was THAT big. In some ways, that's helped me as I've gotten under 300. My body image isn't as far off from my current body as many folks because I was in such denial. EC

Thanks for your post...... I just posted the same kind of post under the name DEPENDS ON THE DAY..... I am glad I am not alone -Kim

Thanks for your post...... I just posted the same kind of post under the name DEPENDS ON THE DAY..... I am glad I am not alone -Kim

I feel the same exact way. I think that I have been heavy for soooo long that no matter what the mirror tells me I close my eyes and I am still the fat girl. I dont know if people are looking at me because I have lost weight, I am still fat or they can see my awful deflated skin. I am so self conscious....I wonder will that ever go away. and I am not like that all the time, just sometimes....thanks for listening. Sue -91