Parking the "International"!! (Long-winded)

Hi gang; Thought it was long past time to post an update. The good news is that unlike some of you, I'm not dealing with any major crisis at this time. The bad news is that I've done some backsliding lately. The good news in the bad news is that I've hit the brakes on the bad news. Things have been pretty hectic at work. It's taken a few months to get acclimated to working the middle (3p-11p) shift after 3 years on the "vampire" shift. I've also taken on a whole new set of office tasks which I'm finally getting a handle on. We've also been dealing with my "In-Laws" moving out of their house into a condo and dealing with getting the house ready for sale and making decisions on a lifetime's worth of "STUFF". There have been some minor daughter crisis' dealing with college, social life, etc. We've also had some close friends getting divorced and other close friends getting hospitalized. This all, plus other minor issues too numerous to mention. I've been living under that ancient Chinese curse: "May you live in interesting times"!!! The bottom line in all of this, is that my eating schedule had gotten all messed up; my exercise had slacked off; my grazing had gotten out of hand; my clothes were getting tight; and I was falling into a depressed state. Now let's talk about my grazing, for example: If you picture my kitchen as a cornfield, my grazing has been done with an International Harvester Combine!!!! There ain't much left when the ol "Cornbinder" got done with his business!! Well......enough of that ****!! I've parked that puppy in the barn an gotten back to business.......I'll be damned if I'm going to start buying bigger clothes again! I truly admire those of you who drag yourselves out to a gym!! I know myself well enough to know that gyms for me are another way to seperate Mike from his money because I will not do the gym routine unless it's at gunpoint.......and even gunpoint is no guarantee! What I can and am doing is getting back to serious walking again as well as doing some formal exercise routines at home. I figure that I might as well be realistic and do the things that I can have a likelyhood of sustaining rather than try for some ideal that I know I will never attain. I've spent too much of my life setting myself up for failure.....I'm better off building on what I know can and has worked. Besides, the walking has the added benefit that my wife likes it and my dog absolutely adores it, so it's a famiy affair!! In other news, I recently visited my surgeon for my 3 year post-op visit. The reason I went a bit early, is that my 18 month visit was at 21 months and I skipped my 2 year visit entirely which did not make him happy. Anyway, I've gained 15 pounds since my last visit which is about a total of 20 pounds above my all-time low. Actually the weight gain was less than I expected because I've also been studiously avoiding the scale! The good news in the surgeon department is that he is very pleased with my health and he said that my blood work was "perfect"!!! I decided then and there that if The Good Lord is kind enough to allow me this level of health after a lifetime of abusing this poor body, I had better stop spitting in his face and get back to business. So, my friends, I've confessed my sins and you can consider yourselves updated on "Mikey World". I'm sorry to put you through all of this excess verbiage, but I felt that if I posted my struggles, It would help to keep me on track. Thanks, as always for being here. Mike

Mike, you've made me a very happy girl today. I've missed you and I'm so happy to see you posting. Listen, you're in good company - so many of us are "slipping" and the key to getting out of that zone is to first get out of our heads. You've taken that step by telling us what's going on. I mean it when I say I can eat ANYTHING and in ANY quantity. The only reason I haven't gained any significant weight back (I put 5 lbs. on, take 5 lbs. off - it's been like this for me for over a year) is because I get my butt to the gym nearly every day on my lunch hour. If I didn't have that structure, I am absolutely certain I would be well on my way (or should I say weigh) back to 300 lbs., maybe more. I'm trying very hard not to be too hard on myself. I've given myself a great gift by getting this weight off -- but I never realized what a gift it was to my family. I will fight to the death to not compromise where we're all at today. Did I think life would be better? You bet. Is it. No, not really. Life is hard, hard, hard. Always has been, at 400 lbs. or 142 lbs., doesn't matter. I ate a lot of food today and I'm feeling pretty low right now. Your post has prodded my sorry ass to get back on track so THANK YOU for that. I'm glad you had a good and positive visit with Aranow. Did you share with him that you're eating more than you should be? Did he give you any advice - other than to see the dietician (remember, she has to earn her paycheck!) - I'm interested to learn if he spent any "quality" time with you. So often with him, I just feel like a number, not a person that he is genuinely interested in. Anyway, thanks for getting in touch. And please, please stay in touch, okay? Love, Maureen

Howdy Pardner! I'm afraid that I'm with you in the "Anything" department. I haven't found much that I can't eat. Some things make me uncomfortable, but I just don't dump!! If I have too much sweet stuff, I feel pretty unhappy, but sweets are not a problem for me. I need to control the same old stuff I always did.......bread, pasta, crackers, etc.. As for Aranow, I did mention my problem with the weight-gain and YES, he did say that I should see the dietician!! Well, other than the "Academic Paperwork Proof", I probably know at least as much about what I need to do as any damn dietician!! Other than that, Aranow did seem a bit more willing to listen than he had in the past. I also noticed that there seemed to be fewer patients scheduled at the same time as me, so it felt a lot less like an assembly line and I didn't have to wait forever to see the Doc. All in all, it was a much better experience than the last time. I realize that I haven't been posting, and I apologize for that, but time has not been on my side lately. I do want you and all of the other "Marchers", that even if I don't post for a while, I always look in on the board and see how everyone is doing. You are all important to me..... even if I'm not talking as much as I should. Be well, my friend. Mike

Hey Mike It is great to see you posting!! I also believe that we all have garbage to endure, but, we tend to handle it somewhat better than we did before we had this wls. So with all of your ups & downs of late, if you only had gained a small amount. It stands to reason, if you are upset at the outcome, you will get it back off. Before, we would not fight & end up 40 or 50 pounds heavier & just not care. So you have changed Yes, we all have to deal with STUFF & there seems to be lots of STUFF to deal with of late, but, hang in there!! Do Keep posting & that walking is a great thing to do, I started doing that again since the move to San Diego. Course I don't have the snow to deal with here, or the heat as in AZ. so Keep Walking, Keep POsting & we will help you through this as friends will do for other firends. Keep Smiling!! Marilyn, the Bearlady

Thanks Marilyn; I know that I haven't posted much lately, but I do check in on the board regularly. I have been keeping up with how all the "Marchers" are doing. Thanks, as always for your support and friendship. It's very important to me.....even if I don't respond as often as I would like to. Take care of yourself nice "Bearlady" and I hope that your Mom continues to improve. Mike

Thanks for posting back , I have missed your posts. Take care I'm sorry for your gain back. I hope you can work on it. God bless you and your family.