LEARNING TO LIVE WITH FOOD

I had two cookies yesterday. Two large, chewy, delicious chocolate chip cookies. I hadn't planned it, it just happened. I was preparing food for a cook-out to which we had invited a few family friends. I was arranging the cookies on a plate and I just ate one. No thought involved, no thunder crashes, nothing...except the extradinary taste of that first bite. I didn't eat the second cookie until a few hours later. It was nearly as good as the first one. I lay awake all night thinking about those cookies and what I had done. And I realized something pretty important. I have spent the last five months (nearly) concentrating on WHAT I can eat, what my body can tolerate, what feels good and what makes my new system hurt. This process has evolved to the point that I can now tolerate just about anything and in normal quantities. I didn't realize this until yesterday when I gave in to my cookie craving. I need to mentally and psychologically -- and probably emotionally -- shift to this new stage. I need to concentrate on managing my food choices so that they are healthy, will assist me in continuing to lose weight, and will be manageable for the rest of my life. This is not to say I can never have a cookie again. But I am at a crossroads. I can begin the whole vicious cycle of eating food that I KNOW will result in weight gain. Or can I learn to eat well, healthily, in a manner that will support my weight loss goals. As for the cookies, they're history. Back to basics, folks. Just had to share. Maureen

Maureen, Thanks for your honesty and sharing your heart and head. I have struggled the past few days as my family was camping with 4 other families and there are truck loads of nasty foods around the campfire, game tables, and meals. A few times I gave in and then I was feeling guilty and defeated, but now i am home again and back to my normal routine, WOW home is better than ever before. I refuse to give up on what has worked for me, thus far. I feel your struggle with the unhelathy foods we used to comfort, nourish, and stuff ourselves. I like the way I feel -100 pounds, but I also liked those sugary junk foods. I have to look myself straight in the eyes and say no more, pick myself up and move on to the next 10 pounds gone forever. WE ARE COMMITTED TO THIS AND WE WILL CONQUER!!!!!!! Best Wishes, Janelle

Thanks Janelle! Great words of encouracement! M.

Dear Maureen: I don't know about you but preop for me meant that I could eat a whole box of cookies. Now when I want I have one or two. I also watch my calories each day and never go over 1200. Louise

Yes, Louise, I had that thought as well. Thanks for the reminder of how it used to be for us. M.

Hi Maureen, good post! I have been at this point for awhile now. I can eat a cookie or maybe some muffin or something of that nature and it wont make me dump, but again, we dont eat the whole bag or a whole huge muffin just a small portion. This is something that our tool helps us with! Which iis wonderull..but iits now up to us to make sure that we dont "graze" on this type of stuff throought the day. For me I want to see the scale moove down sooo bad that I know when I eat that cookie or chip that the scale will stop in its tracks for me. Its easier for meto make the right choices now. Its still a struggle which I knew it would always be but its not as bad as it use to be. I still crave for those bad things but KNOW (AND HERE IS THE KEY FOR ME) I know that if I eat that way I will get sick. Physically in the long run becuse we need to be super careful now that we eat the healthy foods first becuase our bodies already are not absorbing the nutriennts like they use to so we have to get those healthy foods in first. to stay healthy. get in the supplements and such. I have noticed that at tiimes I get sooo hungry and I know that if I eat my protein first I will stilll be hungry because I cannot eat but a few bites of chicken and then im full but still have that head hunger or whatever it is. I think to myself...man I could chow on some popcorn and really get rid of this head hunger!!! thats when I know im in trouble hee hee. I really struggle to say... no I have to eeat protein because i need to stay healthy and I dont want any more of thiis hair to fall out!!! I have to really psyche myself out. And sometimes I cave and when I do I really know what I have done and feel bad.. but its still not as bad as before. I know Im just chatty cathy toniight. so i amstepping off my little soap box and also want to just apologize as i have the WORST keyboard in history here thati am using so sorry for all theypos its a touch pad keybard and its awful ... Just ultimately want you to know that you are definitely not alone in the struggle but take comfort in knowing that it isnt as bad as it use to be and we are in this together! Best wishes!!! Elizabeth M

Elizabeth, sharing your strength is always good for me! Thanks! M.

I am in complete agreement with you Maureen. I just wish I was doing better making that shift. I shouldnt say this..but I wish there were things I couldnt tolerate at all. Sounds awful that I cant wrap my own head around the probelm and take control huh/? I am working on this in therapy actually. A side bar issue to some of the other stuff going on in my life! Hey..this is off topic..but I have to ask..since I cant post it any other way... Is ANYONE else out there on the March Board having trouble clicking on 'post a message' over on the left hand side when you want to intiate a post? I have been able to do it until recently. I thought it was a fluke..but it happens every time..I get an error message when I click there.and it says/"the page you are trying to access doesnt exist" I have written to OH for assistance but havent heard from them. Its irritating..b/c I DO want to post a message...and cant. I can do it in the main forum or any other forum.just not Marchers? THoughts..help!??? Thanks Hang in there everyone... Kris Oh well since I have you all here..I am going to tell you my post. I WENT TUBING ON A LAKE YESTERDAY! OH MY GOSH! And...it was a date...sort of..I can't believe I did it..Put on a bathing suit...and then put my somewhat smaller, but still chubby butt on this tube and was yarded around this lake at very rapid rates of speed! What fun. I was screaming my head off...(I think I was getting my anger out..over whats going on in my life) but itwas so much FUN...time to live life! If I ever get to post I will put up a link of me on the tube! TOO FUNNY!!! A must see..But I am damm proud of myself. Never in a zillion years would I have done that...and I still weigh 225 pounds..but its not 300!! There you have it..You may see this post again.. Sorry Maureen to steal your post and make it my own! But since we share our surgery date..I figured I could do it!!

Way to go Kris!! Joy -57 lbs

What fun, Kris! You go, girl...do whatever you have to do to deal with all those feelings of rage and frustration and sadness...within reason! Can't wait to hear more about this "sort of a date" thing!! I also kicked up my heels a little bit on Friday -- got on a BICYCLE for the first time in 14 years! Went riding with my husband and 10 year old son -- Devin had NEVER seen me on a bike in his entire life! Took a little while to get my balance but once recovered, I was yelling "WWHHHHHEEEEEEEE!" with the best of them going downhill. Of course, you don't want to know what I was yelling when I had to come back UP hill....you're doing great, sweetie, keep it up. M.