WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET?

Or in your pouch...I just scarfed 1/2 bag of gourmet chocolate covered raisins - and I'd do it again! Geez, can't wait for these holidays to be over!!!! Love ya, M.

I hear ya, Reenie. I hurl if I have too much sugar, but I seem to know how much I can eat and how far apart the scarfings need to be to avoid the infamous hurl. I can't tell you how many 1/2 cookies have made it down my throat this year. The only thing that has kept me from being totally out of control is being on the darned bike a couple of times a day. We had a ginormous potluck at work today and I managed to behave through most of it by setting up and serving. That kept me too busy to eat. That's when I should have stopped and walked away. I felt guilty that there were only a couple of people cleaning up after a crowd of about 100 people so I pitched in there also. That lead to grazing as I cleaned. A bite here, a taste there, a nibble... Oh well. Oh, here's something amusing.... sort of... This weekend we made about 20 dozen tamales to serve at this potluck. Frankly, I've been making tamales for weeks now and am sick of them so didn't get one when I finally sat down to eat. Actually, I didn't get a tamale because I knew if I ate a tamale, I wouldn't be able to eat anything else and I wanted to eat ham, turkey and green beans. One of the women at the table where I sat down made a joke about it being a bad sign that the person who made the tamales isn't eating the tamales. I have no idea why, but I lied and said that I ate a couple in the kitchen while I was warming them up. I could have just as easily said that I didn't want to take up pouch space, but the devil made me do it. Anyway, one of the women at the table is a wls veteran and she gave me the most incredulous look when I said I had already eaten 2 tamales. She knows that I could no sooner eat my head than eat two of those tamales. Then she just smiled and we shared a moment. I guess she's just as tired of explaining as I am. Sometimes you just get tired of explaining. Love ya huge, C.

I've had a rough few days with 'real' food .. have been barfin' up stuff for some horrid reason, so I've been in the junk because it will stay down ... What is WRONG with this picture ??? Right now I'm borderline queasy because I've been cutting fudge. I've finally finished cutting up the last of 24 pounds (12 batches) of fudge. All by 5 or so pounds of it has been packaged up and given away or ready to give away and the last of it will be packaged up and gone soon. I don't eat the way I would have pre-WLS but some how I can't seem to NOT eat it either. Hugs, Mo

Friend Mo! I wondered if you were doing the fudge thing this year. Golly the thought of 24 pounds of fudge makes kinda queasy. I'm horrible about 'tasting' stuff when I'm cooking sweets. I know I can't actually eat a so called portion but it doesn't keep me from 'tasting' it. That little bit left on my finger is usually enough to satisfy the MONSTER. He is definitely much more tame than he was pre-WLS. Va

This year when I baked my cookies I tried a few new recipies. I also sampled one from each recipie. I was always a cookie eater still love them. But so far so good only sampled. My biggest laspse is when I buy those stupid sugar free shortbreak cookies from snackwell. I can NOT have them in the house! Even though I know I am going to get incrediable tummy pains from the sugar alchol in them I still will eat more than the 3 per serving. One day I hate 6 cookies!!!!! Not good. that day when that happened I stood and reminisded about what had been years ago presurgery and what could be again if I didn't stop. I threw them in the trash. They've not come back into my house. Yet. I still feel like I am a recovering alcholic who has fallen off the wagon and needs to go back to my 12 steps. I'm not being funny. To me food is addictive. Certain foods. Like cookies. Thats my addition. Why I can do my baking and not go crazy with them is because I enjoy the making but not so much the taste of the sugared things. Real chocolate holds no thrill for me. Real ice cream same thing. Its too sweet! It gives my mouth a strange coating! I do not like the pouches reaction! Or the colon. My head should be telling me the same thing about those stupid sugar free cookies. It doesn't somewhere there is a short in the electrical system of my brain that says O sugar free! arggggggg

Right now only protein water its OK...but I would Much rather have a peppermint mocha from starbucks! !!! I am going shopping with my sis who is also a WLS graduate but sustains her life on protein bars and watermelon @@ She turned her food addiction into OCD I swear! I haven't found another addiction I certainly tried others but haven't found one that fit me like food did. I suppose that is a good thing but I know KNOW that i am still depressed and my anxiety is pretty high right now wit hthe stress of the holidays so I will be eating til sick...gaining 2-3 pounds...freaking out...focusing for a few days and then STARTING OVER!!!!! new addictions for old ones! it truly does help me to hear other people still have troubles, if I ask my sister she says NO way! I never think about food, I never wish for french fries or whatever...I hope its true but fear her snapping one day! nic

YUp, Made cookies last night to take to work today & had to eat & try them out before taking. Managed to get that fast pulse & feeling yucky after toooo much sugar, but, still ate another one before I went to bed. Didn't gain any weight, that will probably show up tomorrow. I don't have a clue why I do it, either. I no it gets me feeling rotten & still eat the darn stuff. Have a great Christmas, anyway!! It is almost over Marilyn, the BEarlady