Blast from the past - it's me!

Hey - remember me? I'm the prodigal child who has returned just in time for the holidays! I've been lurking, but haven't posted for various reasons. Mostly just not having any time to get my thoughts together in black and white. I've certainly missed all of you and for those who have emailed me directly, thanks for checking in on me!! It has meant a lot to me to have such a caring community on my side. The past year and a half has been filled with trials and tribulations. I have grown in ways that I never thought posible. For those of you who may not remember, I have been going through a sticky divorce (part of which my ex and I were living in the same house together), my ex was unemployed for about 7 months, he had just found out that his mother had an agressive form of melanoma (but is doing well today, thank you). I was working part time at Starbucks (needing to get out of the house and needing to get health benefits), I put my dream home up for sale (11 months on the market, it sold), my ex moved out just 3 months before the house sold and lived with his mom (which meant that he couldn't take custody of the kids when he was supposed to because there was just not enough room in her one bedroom apartment for everyone), I began seriously seeing someone I had been friends with for over 20 years (more on that later). My ex found a job in May and in September, moved into his own place. I found a job (which I love) in August, I moved out of my dream house and into a cute townhome with the girls in August as well. I'm very happy in my new place - it's very homey and cozy and ALL MINE! The ex moved his girlfriend into his place in October (ouch!), the ex still won't take on the custody schedule he agreed to, so it's a crap shoot for me as to when and if I have any "me" time. I've had my heart broken - a few times over, but ya know what? I'm still standing. I'm still thriving. I'm still me with very few battle scars. The divorce was "official" on November 7th - ironically 13 years and 1 day after we took our vows. I've had some very difficult moments - moments when I wondered what I was doing. Did I try to make my marriage work? Did I give up too easily? I can be assured that I wanted it to work, but there has to be 2 participating parties to make a marriage work and I couldn't have done it alone. I'm OK with who I am - the choices I have made; the person I am today. I'm a good mom with 2 well adjusted, beautiful and happy daughters. Just when I don't think I can take any more on, they look to me and I forge ahead. Up until this past week, I had been romantically involved with my best guy friend for over 20 years. He and I live 1000 miles away and I think that the distance finally took its toll - at least for now. We had a huge argument and things were said that can't be taken back. I'm hurt. I'm wounded, but I will go on. I have great friends, great family and while I might not be the poster child for successful wls, I am still happy and confident and beautiful. If nothing else, this guy has made me realize that I'm the total package - no matter what the outside looks like. I sincerely hope that he and I can be friends again, but right now I just don't have the energy to put into it. I'm going to work on the outside. I've done so much work on the inside, I have let the outside get a little soft and fluffy. It's all about making time to do something for me. It's the whole oxygen mask theory - put the oxygen mask on yourself and then assist others with theirs. I wish everyone here a happy holiday season. I miss all of you and I'm sending a big hug your way. Love, Wendy

Hey there, Wendy! It is great to hear from you. So sorry for the tough times you have been through, but it sounds like you are living your life--with all its ups and downs. You are grasping the joyful moments and dealing realistically with the down times. And you have learned something we have all struggled with--to be kind to yourself! Life is a journey, not a destination, no matter what the fairy tales we read as children led us to believe! Keep travelling! (...and checking in with us from time to time!) Hugs... Joy

Wendeeeee!!!!! I've missed you, girl. I love the oxygen mask theory. The best gift you can give your girls is a strong, happy mom and you're doing it. Hugs, Connie

Wendy, love, so good to see you posting again. No matter how tough the times get for you, you always exude warmth and a positive outlook. You've been through it, girl, and you are a great role model for your girls. More than anything, teach them this: never, ever settle for less than what you need and desire in life. Stay in touch, Wendy. M.

Good to see you here again. The one thing you and all of us for that matter need to come to grips with is that we will never be done. We are all works in progress and need to get the notion that we will at some point look in the mirror and retire. Keep in mind where you need to go, but don't forget to look back at where you have come from. Just keep at it, life does have some karma in it and you appear to be a good person.

Well said, Ken, and a wonderful reminder.

Wendy, I too have been AWOL for some time. Just found the site again. Any of the old crew lurking? Where's da Queen? Good to finally get back here again. Happy holidays everyone.

I remember you!!! We haven't seen the Queen since right after surgery. She seems to have abdicated the throne. Don't know what happened to her. Glad to see you back here. If I remember right, you had a couple of issues right after surgery. Hope all is well now. Connie (One of the Old Timer Niners)

I sort of remember you - glad you found us again! Provide an update, please, inquiring minds want to know (by the way, what's your name???) Maureen

Hi I don't remember you either, but, Welcome back & no offense girls, but, we can always use another male around this here board. I am sure it's hard for Mike & Ken to keep up with all of us. I agree with Reenie, gives an update on you & how you are doing? Oh Yeah & a name to go with you Pic Marilyn, the Bearlady