Don't Even Know What to Title This

A couple of noteworthy events this week. First the ooky and then the sad. A year or two before WLS, I had one 1/2 hour date with possibly the strangest guy on the planet. I had talked to him on the phone several times before meeting him at a restaurant and he seemed pretty normal on the phone. He's in the same field that I am and very bright. The date was only a half hour long because he was so strange that I high-tailed it out of there. He had decided he was in love with me, started crying when I told him that I didn't know him and therefore couldn't love him, it got stranger and stranger so I left right away. As I was leaving, he asked me to tie his shoes to prove that I loved him. Uhhhh.... No! As soon as I left, he started calling and e-mailing and I had to block his e-mails and phone calls. Even though he didn't know my address, where I worked or my last name, the guy was so creepy that I saved the e-mails and even kept a copy in my truck and the house for a couple of years in case something happened. I was cleaning things a couple of months ago, came across the e-mails and threw them out. I had wiped them off my computer a long time ago. So two weeks ago, I'm interviewing for a vacant supervisor position that I have. I always have other people interview with me to get more than one opinion. We have an interview set for 9:00 am and the guy doesn't show. At 4:00, he strolls in the door and it's Mr. Whacko. There's no mistaking him and he's every bit as strange as he was three years ago. He doesn't say anything about knowing me so I figure that he doesn't recognize me after losing 130 pounds and breathe a sigh of relief. After he left, I ask the other two what they think about the interview and they both say that he's one of the strangest people they've ever met and they don't want me to hire him. Great, problem solved. Last Thursday the phone rings and it's the whacko, who by the way, has a different name than the one he gave me on our date. Whacko: We both know that you won't hire me. Me: I haven't made a decision on who I will hire. (Which is true, but I do know that it won't be him.) Whacko: We both know why you won't hire me. Me: I have a meeting right now, but thank you for calling. Whacko: You know me. Me: I'm afraid I don't and really must go. Whacko: I'm very honored that I've been with someone who has so much power. Me: Goodbye (click) Last night, it dawned on me that the whacko now knows where I work, my last name, and to make matters worse, he's the database administrator for the state department of motor vehicles and has access to my home address. Now for the sad.... While I was busy trying to get approval for wls years ago, a woman that I worked with was also trying to get approved. I didn't talk about my insurance struggle because I didn't want a thousand and one questions while I was trying to work through it, but Charlie was really excited about it and talked about it all the time. Before she could have surgery, Charlie had a stroke and was never able to have surgery. About 6 months after she took sick leave from work, I promoted into her position and took over her team. Charlie died last Sunday leaving a husband and three young boys; her funeral was yesterday. As I sat in the church, I felt so sad and so guilty. I almost felt like I'm living the path that she wanted to take, but never got to. I had the surgery she wanted and the job she wanted, because I had the opportunity to have wls and she didn't. I had surgery in time to save my life and she didn't. Once again, I'm reminded of how fortunate we all are. I may struggle with food choices and cravings, but I'm here. I'm 130 pounds lighter and I'm alive. We all go through relationship troubles, money troubles, emotional troubles, but we're here. I'm blessed and I'm grateful. Hugs, Connie

connie-thank you for sharing...i understand your feelings baout charlie..wow.. as for whacko--if he misuses his work computer system to haunt you(stalk you) it is illegal--you know it and so does he--please be careful.....that would be 9-1-1...... hugs from ohio

I agree that if Whacko tries in anyway to contact you again. Put a stop to it immediately & let the police know it is happening. Thanks for the posting of feelings. We have all had some problems, but, all in all so much better off than 2 plus years ago almost 3 now. Keep Smiling!! Marilyn, the Bearlady

wow. i think back on all the people who i've known who have had a need maybe even stronger than mine but becasue of insurance have not been able to have the surgery. i just wish that the need for all could be addressed. to think that there are people out there who need medicines that do not get them. its something that we all have a right too. it shouldn't be no you can't casue you dont' have insurance. everyone should have insurance. this wacko you need to watch. even though i have not met you i do feel you are a strong individual who takes good care of herself. so if mr wacko comes around again or calls you know what to do.

Be careful, kiddo. As for Charlie, gosh, I know you feel terrible; you'd feel terrible even if you didn't lose the weight and take over her position because that's the kind of person you are. So go ahead and feel what you need to feel and then maybe send Charlie a little mental telegraphic note, just to check in - and tell her whatever you need to say. Love ya, M.

Hey Connie, Please be wary of this guy.....he sounds seriously unstable. As for Charlie I share your sadness and understand your guilt, but I'm sure that she's smiling down at you for doing the right thing at the right time. Never forget her, but celebrate the fact that you were able to do this and help yourself. Mike