Reenie Update

I've not been in touch because I've been dealing with some very big issues. My husband and I have walked through fire and find ourselves on the other side, intact and different people. I can't emphasize enough the benefit of good, solid therapy -- as individuals and with the people you love and who love you. Jim and I are together--and committed to staying together, although we both absolutely reject the state of ill-health and dysfunction that our marriage has always been. We know what we're dealing with now and we go to sleep together wrapped in each others arms for the first time in years. We are communicating in a totally different way, caring and kind and listening, really listening to each other. The state of our marriage had become intolerable and when I say I've walked through fire, I can only tell you that I've never been in this mental state before. As for now and our future, I am frightened. This is totally new and foreign terrain for me - for both of us. But I am hopeful. We have always loved each other but our marriage has always been sick, contaminated by what we both brought to it. This board has always referred to the weight loss as a "journey" -- Jim calls it my "Odyssey" - and we are for the first time dealing with all of it - how fat I got and why and his role in it and what it means to be married now - together. I wish you all peace in your lives. Love, Reenie

Awesome!!! This isn't even my surgery date board, and I missed having you around! It must be soooo difficult, walking through our journey, having been married to someone for so long and then everything changes.....Tough stuff.... I was lucky in a way....I was single. But it was still hard...I think it is tough stuff, no matter what our situation is... Kudos to you and yours for hanging in there Reenie!! Good for you!! Wecome back!! Lyn

Nonsense! Our board is your board, there are no boundaries for membership here other than offering unconditional support and friendship. That's what family is all about! Thanks for your kind words of encouragement, Lyn. Take care, M.

Hey there Partner....... This is GREAT NEWS......I'm glad that you two are working things out. I don't know about your marital issues and they're not my business anyway, but I do remember seeing you two walking the halls of the 4th floor in Middlesex Hospital after surgery. There may have been issues there, but I also saw love and caring. I hope that you can continue to work things out. Many relationships are unsalvageable....especially after the shackles of obesity are removed, but I think that in your case it will prove to be worth the work. At least that's my reading of it.......I hope that I'm right. In any case, Maureen, I'm here......we're here......stay with us no matter what. Be well, my friend. Mike

Congratulations on your new marriage!! It is a huge advantage that it is to the same individual that you married the first time, but now you are getting to rebuild the relationship into the marriage that you both want it to be!!! I don't know how many people on this board really understands from experience, but I sure do. You and Jim are being given a rare gift--make the most of it. Keep your eyes and ears and heart open, ready to listen, see and love. Don't be fooled--you will still annoy each other! But you are now able to love past that. Blessings... Joy

I know you get this, Joy. If only we could all really know the impact we have on each others lives...you kept telling me to hang in there and do the work, do the work. Man, I've been workin' -- and it's the toughest work I've ever done. But so worth it. I know we've got many many battles ahead of us; but we're different people. We've changed - and it's all good...thanks, my friend. You have no idea how indebted I am to you and Dan. Love, M.

That is good news!! It must be in the air as at 7:30 a.m. I got a call from my X & he wanted to take me to Breakfast. O.K. Sure!! Well I made the decision that I am going to go back with him. My life has not been any better without him & we are going to work out our problems & I will work with him on getting thecounseling we both need to make this work. You are absolutly correct that therapy is a good thing. I have needed it for a long time & just realized how much I do need it!! He needs help with the Beer & we are both going to work on ourselves & the realationship. I hope we have the same luck as you have had!! Congrats on your victory & prayers for you that you both continue to grow in all aspects of your lives!! Marilyn, the Bearlady

Best of luck, Marilyn. Don't accept anything less than a good, respectful, honest relationship. And break a sweat to get it. M.

Reenie, As the Grateful Dead say, "What a long, strange trip its been." I have to commend you for hanging in there. I know it's been tough for you and it's been a haul, but I have faith in you. Sometimes I think I was really blessed by being single through the first year or so. It's hard enough wrapping my own head around this whole process, much less taking someone else's head with me. We're here. Don't stay away. Love ya, Connie