argggg

its been about 4 months since i broke up with my financee. while i miss him i know i did the right thing. the holidays will be hard but am coping. we were members of a local community service group. he is president of it this year. i've stayed away because i don't want to see him. it makes me feel bad plus this is an important year for him and i want him to not think about us when he is doing his job. me sitting there would be a reminder. word has gotten around by now that we aren't together when we were always together at all the functions. today one of the "catty" (cause i can't say the B word here...) sent me an email. we write back and forth about different things she's one of those people who is always having the tupperware, pampered chef, clothing type of partys and i had ordered something from her at one of them. this past week i had called her last minute to see if i could stop at her house to pick up what i'd ordered. she said sure. she didn't tell me that they were having a meeting at her house with everyone. ok so maybe thats not up to her to do that but knowing the type of person that she is she did it intentional just to see what woud happen. this i know. soooo i had another stop first of someone we both know. then got to her house and from the road i could see all the cars plus the ex's truck. i drove past. came home and did somethings here then the next morning called her and told a lie. i'm not a good lie teller don't usually believe in it sometimes ya just gotta do it. like telling the boss that you have a migrane and ahve to go home when the migrane is caused by the work type of thing! well today i get the email. i swear i could hear the meowing from her lips! it had a message at the top that said "women waiting for the perfect man" then you scroll down to see a group of skeletons dressed at a dusty table. oooooo not nice. becasue i am a good person i will not call her out on it. i sent her another email saying this was funny have passed it on to a few friends then said i would be picking up the thing this week did you get my message on your phone that i left? i wanted to say it could be a group of women who have settled. i could have said it could be a group of women who stay in a relationship becasue they don't think they can handle being on their own. i could have said it is a group of women who live with a nasty, arrougant, pushy, abusive, cheater who i dont' have a clue as to why they do but they do stay with that person. i could have said it and would have been discribing her husband but i didn't. what good would it have served? my ex is a good man. there were issues that are between me and him. he knows what they are thats enough. no one can change another person but if there is an issue that is important and the person can't help it or just doen'st see it than the other person has to make a decision as to what is right for them. i choose what is right for me. and maybe i'll be one of those skeletons and maybe i won't but i'll know i took care of myself and didn't settle just to be with a man. standing on soap box! tadaaaaaaaaaaa

Hey Pam It's O.K. to rant, that is always better than keeping it inside. I am kind of in the same boat, I spent the other day with my X & all of a sudden he think everything is O.K & we will be back together. NOTTTT going to happen. He was with me when I saw the "Budweiser Cleysdales". I don't want to spend the holidays alone either, but, I don't want to go back to an alcoholic that does not want to do anything to help that situation. Oh yeah he says he will, but, I haven't seen any type of change since we have been a part, so why would I believe that for a second. Anyway, Stick to your guns, even though at times we hurt, I as well as you know we are better off. I also have other issues that are between him & I & he also know what those are. If getting it out instead of holding it in helps you. Than Rant Away. That is why we are here!! God Bless You & Have a great Week!! LOL Marilyn, the Bearlady

thank you marilyn for your reply. your right and i appreciate being able to rant on here! sometimes friends who are in a stable relationship don't always understand how difficult it is and think they know everything about what happened in your failed relationship when they dont' have a clue! i know i did right for him and me by breaking up that doens't mean that i didn't love him and miss him. it does mean that i will get over this and so will he and that int he end we both will be better off. whew. its hard growing up! LOL good luck to you and god bless. Pam