I'm Glad We Are the Way We Are

I belong to another wls support group that is moderated by someone who shuts down the conversation everytime things get heated. No forget heated - even luke warm. One of the other members got the nerve to speak up about this and I'm glad she did. Her post made me think of the Marchers and some of the disagreements that we have sometimes. I'm glad we have the right to disagree and vent and whine and gripe. Maybe we are a little harsh with each other at times and we could be more considerate in the way we phrase things, but at least we get things out in the air. Her post is below. Connie You may not agree with what I say, but please do not doubt the sincerity of my thoughts. I know you're trying to keep everyone happy, but I need to say this because life isn't always happy. I am honestly not trying to be rude here, but how come every time we actually start to get real about things... someone suggests we stop? These are the issues behind it all. These are the things I personally want to work on. Yes, people get angry. That's part of life. The part we used to have to stuff down with food. Now we need to deal with things in different ways. Why can't this be a place where we can hash these things out? Does it always have to be sunshine and roses and hugs? Life happens. Sometimes it makes us mad. Sometimes we make each other mad. If all we ever talk about is FOOD and our little POUCHES and we never address the issues that make us worry about FOOD and our little POUCHES.... we lose ground as far as I'm concerned. I understand that this is POSITIVE SUPPORT, but when is it going to be OK to be real, to be me, to say how I feel about something and not be shut out? I like it when the topics get heated because then we get to the core of what is really going on for us. To me, that's support... talking about the deeper stuff. And yes, I am writing this with the best possible intent for good. And yes, I might make someone angry. And then... if someone does get angry, shouldn't he/she ask him/herself why? I'm feeling too chicken to actually hit send on this e-mail, but I'm going to do it anyway. Confrontation is one of those issues I would like positive support in working on. 10 of you will probably read this e-mail and think I'm hostile. Maybe a few of you will agree with me. Maybe someone will laugh. How you react is going to be unique to you and I have no control over that. I'm going to take this risk. I want to be supported, not coddled. Does anyone else feel this way? You know what? Sending this e-mail and hoping for some support is going to feel better than ignoring my thoughts and feelings until I feel like eating them away. So, I'm hitting send instead of bumming myself out about all of this and eating. HOOOORAY for me! I'll pat myself on the back!

Connie, reading your posts always makes me feel better, even when I'm already feeling just fine! Your upbeat and positive attitude is contageous. Thanks! Maureen

Go HER!!!!! Thanks for sharing this!!!!

I am glad we have this board, to help each other and lean on one another. We need this kind of support from others who know what we are going throu. Sure our friends and family can support us, but do they really understand what it is like to deal with WLS? That is why i am glad we can help each other with everything that comes along, pick us up when down and keep us up high when we are flying!! Everyone is doing a great job with their weightloss, and even more so all the support here is awesome. Way to go Marchers!!!

I'm glad we have the right to disagree and vent and whine and gripe too, Happy Girl. I find it very interesting that Kathy Cade and KimK feel free to spew whatever villainous bile they're gargling on any given day, and when called on it, they try to save face by saying things like, "This was already cleared up in private e-mail." or else they moan about how sweet Kathy Cade is (cough, yeah right) or how no one has the right to disagree with them or say anything in response that doesn't agree completely. Happy Girl, you said, "I understand that this is POSITIVE SUPPORT, but when is it going to be OK to be real, to be me, to say how I feel about something and not be shut out?" AMEN! I beg all of you to not let those with bigger mouths shout you down.