Interesting Business Retreat (Long Story)

OK--I warned you it was long! I am getting really into doing the home spas for BeautiControl. I found their products whild searching for something to tighten my sagging face. Last weekend I went to a retreat to spend some time with other consultants and to share ideas. I expected it to be a fun girl-time weekend and I was not disappointed. There were about 50 women at the retreat and we spent 2 nights at a state park lodge. While I am totally open about WLS with other patients, and with those who ask about my weight loss, and with those who express interest in weight loss, I do not tend to make a public issue of it. There are a couple of obese members of our team. When they learned that I had had the surgery, they were full of questions. Do you remember how single minded we were when we were detemined to have the surgery? Well, one of the gals (I will call her Ellen), was very persistant, and very public with her questions, comments, and discussions. It turns out that she uncovered the fact that out of the 50 girls there, 3 had had WLS! Imagine! 6%!! That created a LOT more interest and the retreat more or less was hijacked into a WLS seminar! I felt like I was being scrutinized every minute, especially at meal time. Ellen would not give it a rest! Most of my non-WLS friends know I had the surgery, but by now they are used to the idea. These were people that I did not know well or had never met before. It was a very strange experience. No one was negative, but I felt a bit like I was in the center ring of a circus side show! I found myself sneaking out of sight to eat! I think the other 2 girls were equally uncomfortable with the public scrutiny, but we all dealt with it, and I think we were able to give each other some support. I found it to be an interesting experience. I hope I was helpful in spite of my discomfort. Have any of you found yourself in similar cir****tances??? Joy

wow Joy, I've not had an experience like that. It must have been uncomfortalbe. Takes away the reason for being at the retreat. When I was going through my jounery into deciding what to do with surgery there was 2 women where I work who had it done. They were a year apart from each other. I watched them but I have to say I did it on the sly. It was back when there was a lot of discussion about the con's of surgery. A couple of movie stars had had it done too but I never am close enough to movie stars! so my two fellow employees were the stars I watched. They helped me to make my decision to go ahead with the surgery. Without even knowing it. haha I know there are times that friends watch what I eat. Especailly the one who was so against me having the surgery and who always had yet again another nightmare story about the bad stuff that can happen and even now tells me all about all the people in the world who have had it and failed. never lost a pound and gained every single one back plus more. arggggggg becasue you know (her words not mine) that surgery doesn't work. she's thin and kinda liked her fat friend pammy. almost 3 years out and now she has laid off that stupid song alittle bit. your a star!!!!!

Hi sweetie, I've missed you. A post by you is a might fine way to start my day. Joy, I'm at the point where I find myself really wanting to move away from the WLS spotlight and focus instead on healthy living. I maintain what I've always said - the surgery was a wonderful catalyst to gain control over my life and failing health but the fact that I am maintaining is due to my strength and resolve to stay committed to the behavioral change I have adopted and embraced in my life. I will never shy away from the fact that I had this surgery -- anymore than one who had a triple bypass to save a failing heart would chose to hide that fact. But the true grit here is staying healthy by sustaining the weight loss through regular physical activity and mindful eating. The surgery really had little to do with our successes -- and failures -- in learning how to live full, vibrant lives in healthy bodies. I'm still learning. Some days it's a struggle, while I sail through others without a hitch. I akin it to smoking -- I used to be a smoker, many, many years ago. Today, I don't go around telling people I'm an ex-smoker who choses not to smoke anymore. Today, I am a NON-smoker who hates being around cigarette smoke. Being a non-smoker is different than being an ex-smoker. Same with the weight. Living life from the perspective of being normal sized is different than constantly looking over my shoulder as a formerly super morbidly obese person. While I will always be connected to my formerly very fat self, it's really not the business of the rest of the world. I want to help - but I think I can be of help to people as a person who is making the hard choices of keeping my body fit and healthy...and sharing with folks how I go about doing that - than suggesting in any way that WLS is the magic wonder pill that every obese person is looking for. The fact is, the surgery will not be successful without the behavioral change. We will gain it back. That's the hard truth. Taking cover, your Reenie

I've found myself in that situation twice. The first time was at a training during lunch. I always take a plate full of food and then leave most of it behind,. My mission in life is to waste food and kill off children in India and China by not cleaning my plate. Oh stop.... I'm kidding. Anyway, after a few days of training, someone asked why I always leave so much food and I told hem I had surgery a couple of years ago and couldn't eat it all (nevermind why I take so much food in the first place). Another woman at the table who is fairly chunky said that she had also had wls 10 years ago. Unfortunately, someone looked at her and made the comment, "I guess it doesn't work for everyone." The other wls person got up and walked out. I was so upset for her and of course told off the insensitive idiot. Since then, I've been kind of cautious about opening my mouth. I have no problem with proclaiming my own born again status, but I'm sometimes afraid of the consequences. The second time was last month at a conference. Same scenario around a dinner table. Me loading up my plate and then picking at my food, someone asks me if I don't like the food and I explain about the surgery. I noticed that a very normal looking woman across the table didn't join the conversation when people started asking questions. Later on, when we were alone, she told me that she had surgery 4 years ago. Apparantly she's not comfortable with being outted and I respect that. I'm finding that this is similar to being gay. OK, maybe I don't really know if it's similar, but I'm finding that some people are out and some are not. Some people just aren't comfortable with having everyone know their "biznezz" and I try to respect that. About a year ago, I ran into an old boyfriend while I was with a couple of other wls people. When I dated this guy, I was at my not so chunky phase of adulthood (which lasted all of 6 months) and he never knew me at my largest. In fact, I intentionally avoided him when I got large because I was so embarrassed. When we ran into him, he asked how we knew each other and one of the girls told him we had all had wls surgery. I never would have lied about it, but I was mortified that he knew I had ever gotten so big. I've never hidden the fact that I had wls so this woman would not have dreamt that I would be embarrassed, but I was. That was the one and only time I didn't want to be outted. What was the question? I've rambled again..... Time to sit in the hot tub with a Bloody Mary. Did I mention it was a Virgin Bloody Mary? No that's a lie. It's been a rough week. There will be booze in that sucker. OK, just a little booze. Hugs, Connie

You are always so entertaining, my Dear!!! I admire you so much for maintaining humor in the midst of the worst days! I don't mind people knowing if they don't make me feel like a side-show freak! Some people just don't have any sense!! I give WLS all the credit for my loss. Was it a push-button easy fail-safe weight loss? NO! (As we all know!) But without it, I had no chance of success. It give the edge to wage a fair fight with obesity, and for that I am grateful. It's so comfortable being in here with fellow freaks! LOL! Love you all! (And of course, I mean that in the best possible way!) Joy

I can realate....as usual.... My problem seems to come about when I order a little amount of food or leave a lot of food on my plate. Then the questions come: Is that all you are eating......Is there something wrong with the food? Last night we went to a Mexican resturant. My hubby had the buffet. I knew that would be a waste of money so I decided to order from the menu. I got a California salad which was stemed vreggis over a bed of rice with chips and steak and I had them put the melted cheese in a bowl. I ate part of the veggies. some rice and some steak. I was sitting back watching my hubby eat and we were talking. The manager saw my plate and he went to the waiter and spoke in another language to him and the waiter immediately came over to ask if there was something wrong with my dinner. I told him no, it was good but I could not eat very much and could I have a plate to take the rest home. They expect everyone to eat a lot of the food handed to them, no matter the portion amount. If I had whipped out my card for 1/2 meals I would have gotten "the funny look". I seem to not be able to win in any situation, but I would perfer this than being obese again.