Still Struggling/ DH is UPSET

Things are still rough here. I'm hoping some of this a learning phase. I'm a month behind getting used to my new pouch. I was hospitalized the first month with pancriatis so I'm just now learning what I can eat. I'm learning I can't drink with meals. I thought this was optional depending on how fast you wanted to lose but for me it means vomiting. Each meal time, I'm sonauseous I feel I need to get something in me to feel better. Then I overeat and vomit. I'm thirsty all the time and TRYING not to take big swallows. I can't get in the protein or the water I need. My dh said the WLS is was a big mistake. He's very upset. He says each day is crap shoot. He never knows if I'll be in bed or hanging over the toilet. Last night we had orange roughy (not cheap). I threw mine up so he dumped the rest of fish in the trash saying he can't eat it after hearing me vomit it. Its been hard on him. He had to take 3.5 weeks off work in March because I went back in the hospital. Now that I am home, he's doing much of housework and taking care of the toddlers because I can't stand more than a few minutes. We've been house bound because I get sick or diarrhea so much. I can tell his patience is almost worn out. I'm not sorry I had the surgery- still hoping I'll get better but if I it looks like I may lose my husband over this I'll be looking for a reversal real quick. Robin RNY 3/2/4 247/212/130

Dear Robin, I am so sorry things are so difficult for you. You sound as if the stress of how your husband is handling this situation is adding to your ill health. I would advise you BOTH go to the doctor together and talk this over. One of the things my surgeon's team stressed in thinking about having this done is we MUST have emotional support at home after the surgery. If we don't have unconditional support from our families, especially our spouses, then the chance of recovery and weight loss success is severely compromised. Your husband is being very insensitive, and telling you your surgery was a mistake is making matters worse. He needs a reality check. By the way, there is no reversal as far as I know. I hope you can find it within yourself to think differently about this, to tell your husband you know this is difficult on him but it's TEMPORARY and his help and support will go a long way in your ultimate success. You both need to talk to someone, together, ASAP. Get help with your kids. Take care of yourself. God bless and be well, Maureen

I will agree with Maureen and just pray for healing for you and for your husbands negativitiy!! ~Nicole

Dear Robin, I can't imagine the stress you must be dealing with. It sounds to me like you're struggling with the diet end of this. I agree with Maureen, take you husband to the Dr. with you. I would also strongly suggest that you talk to your dietician again and tell her what's going on. It may be that you need to modify your diet. You should not be throwing up at each meal. Remember to stay away from the fluids for at least 1/2 an hour before you eat and 1/2 an hour to 1 hour after you eat. This will help you make sure that you're eating to be full and not washing out your pouch. Also be sure that you're doing the "Chew, chew, chew". I've discoverd that I literally have to chew for 1 minute and then take a break for 1 minute. If any meal takes me less than 1/2 an hour, I'm throwing up and in pain. One other thing, you came to the right place for support, suggestions and help. This team of Marchers are phenomonal. I'm glad to hear that you haven't given up. You've had, and are continuing to have a number of setbacks, but you're holding in there. Not an easy thing to do and I admire your tenacity and strength. Let us know how you're doing. You have our prayers and supprt. {{hugs}} Cheryl

Hi Robin: I just want to stress that the advice here is excellent. You need to find out what to eat and the proper amounts. Talk to your surgeon or dietician and follow their instructions...this way if what they advise doesn't work they can then help you find what will work for you. IMO - I think your dh needs a break from all this too. Can you find someone to help you and give the guy a night out or 2, even if he just goes to the movies and forgets about all this for a little while. Take it from one of the older ones here...husbands are great and supportive but they do not always have the necessary staying power for long term problems. Giving him a break may help him get back to where you need him to be. Also start retraining your thinking - feeling nauseous at mealtimes is not telling you to eat more, but very possibly less and slower. I hope you start feeling better soon. I know that the panceatitis put you way behind in your recovery but you'll soon get into the swing of it. Good luck. Louise

The first order of business is to get your energy up. You need to find a protein drink you like that you can drink, and drink often. I personally like the Protidiet tropical punch (I've posted the link a few times, but if you just do a google search on protidiet tropical it will pull it up). It goes down really easy and is a good choice for those struggling with energy issues. Second is that you may need to drink with a straw. Some surgeons say not to, others say it's fine. I think if you are gulping too quickly, you might need a straw. Third - stay away from the meats right now. Get some vegetarian meats. They are easier on the stomach and loaded with protein. Try boca burgers or other such things. Fourth - it sounds like you are going too long between eating, which then spurs you on to eat quickly due to your years of conditioning. I would suggest setting a little egg timer or alarm that will remind you to eat at certain times. Staying with simple foods is probably a good idea right now. If you had pacreatitis I think that should indicate you need to be a little more gentle on yourself right now. And if you just can't hack those things, go liquid for awhile and drink your protein. Keep a sippy bottle with you and just keep sipping on it. Good luck and keep us posted on how things go. Dina

Hey Robin, My hubby, too is getting tired of my problems, but he keeps looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately it always seems to be another dang train!! Still having some troubles with nausea. I'm still pretty much carb sensitive so I'm forced to stick to almost strictly protein. That makes it real hard to have any energy. It's not really that I'm sleepy, I just don't have the energy to move. Just thinking about it tires me out. To top it all off, now my left knee, has gone out. The reason I had WLS was to lose the weight so I could have a good result from the knee replacement surgery I have to have on that knee. I was hoping to lose the majority of my weight prior to having the replacement surgery. BUT...now it doesn't look like I'm going to have that option. 6 weeks out and my knee is blown. I can only walk stiff legged and with a cane. GRRRRR!!!! I have an appointment with knee doc on Thursday, and one with my *wonderful* (not) WLS surgeon on Friday. When I get like you appear to be, I back peddle and go on yogurt for a couple of days. Yogurt seems to be my one consistent menu option that I can eat no matter what. Also HOT TEA before I eat a *solid* meal seems to help it settle better. I hope you turn the corner soon!! Happy thoughts, Va Was/Am/Wannabe 232/195/130