Ugh! I am so tired!

I think we will each face some highly stressful hurdle that challenges our total recovery. I'm so sorry to hear you have to do it RIGHT NOW before you have even recovered from the physical part of the surgery. I'm experiencing the famous fatigue and the thought of a family emergeny is, well....I get it. I've read all these excellent response and also have the experience that many in our generation now do -- my stepfather (who was it for 30 years, so I think he gets a real dad certificate, believe me!) died last year and I was back and forth between San Francisco and the Midwest as it unraveled, as my mom became very ill and everyone else literally crapped out on him. So it was him and me at the end in Kansas City and here I am also in San Francisco for gawd's sake with two kids and also running a company. So, of course, I did what I've always done -- gain 40 pounds. So I've been sitting here asking myself what I will do when this happens to me now, as my Mom has recovered but is very elderly and fragile. I know that you have to put yourself first and I do not say that lightly or in ignorance of what is really going on. I think you know it, too, it's the doing it that's so hard. One of the things I thought about as my stepfather lay dying is how short life is. My stepfather enjoyed his life greatly, he wrang every drop of enjoyment out of every situation and I want to be more like him. We on this board have good cause to know how short life is. With the surgery you have had, there is no choice, you must attend to your health. There are a number of ways to work on boundary setting and inner peace in the face of tremendous adversity. Some people do it with prayer here, but I am not religious so that doesn't work with me. I know you are pursuing some of the other avenues. I've started meditation through Stanford Hospital and it's pain-clinic and stress related, not woowoo. If you like, I will pass you the name of the book that outlines it. It gives all the techniques, many of which take only ten minutes. I'm amazed how much calmer it's made me feel, and I'm also facing other challenges in my life that won't be put off, along with the family thing. Be well, Joy. Gano

Joy, is your husband in the military? I ask that because you mention hiim being out of leave. My husband is full time ANG and he took family sick leave. It appears that the sick leave that is given to them is also available for sick family members. It is just a thought... if this applies to your situation. Roz

Dan works for the state of Ark. He has been there less than a year, and he took all his sick leave with me! He's trying to build up a bit of vacation so we can go diving in the fall. Neither of us wants to sacrifice that. He does really well with my mom--much better than I do. He will do all he can and then some! I went by to see her and she is doing well. I almost fell asleep in the chair and SHE SENT ME HOME!!! Thanks for your concern and prayers. Joy

Joy, I know you love your Mom, but sometimes Mom's can really put us through alot! I just want you to take it easy girl. I hope Mom feels better soon and is released from the hospital soon too. I know you'll feel better when you can walk it off. I hope Pepe LePouch isn't giving you any trouble...Can you eat anything beside liquids? Karen L