Here's a Story

As most of you know, last week I went to Vegas beacuse my father was in the hospital. At the last minute, we decided to take my 3 year old niece, Scout. The first morning in Vegas, I was in the tub taking a bath when Scout came in, took off her clothes and climbed in the tub with me, announcing that she was dirty. She's a very uninhibited child. I rinsed us both off in the shower and got out to dry off. Scout looks at me and says, "Aunt Connie, your pagina looks funny." I'm trying to figure out how Scout can see my vagina and wondering why it looks funny. No one else ever told me my pagina looks funny. I need to ask The Man if my pagina looks funny. Why has he never mentioned this? Then I wonder why I'm taking a 3 year old's word for it that my "pagina" looks funny. Then I realize that anything below the waist on a woman is a "pagina" to Scout. Nobody ever bothers to correct her and tell her it's a vagina and exactly where it is because, let's face it, we're chicken. There's no telling where the child will go with accurate information so we leave her in the dark. After questioning her, I finally realize that she's talking about my tummy tuck scar. My sister comes into the bathroom and Scout says, "Mom, Aunt Connie's pagina looks funny." To which my sister responds, "That's nice, brush your teeth." For the rest of the day, doctors and nurses and hotel desk clerks and waitresses and gas station attendants heard about my funny looking pagina. Connie

i wish i had a smart reply but im having a hard time typing and trying to wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes...argg hard to see the keyboard!!!!!

oh Connie Could you change the names to protect the innocent (or the guilty as the case may be ) and submit this to Readers Digest. I think it beats anything I've ever seen in their humorous little ditties!!! Hugs, Mo

You simply MUST write a book!

Dear Connie Thanks again for the laughter for the day. We never get bored with your stories. I haven't laughed this hard in awhile (very good for me) under the stress level I have been under of late. Take care & keep writing!!! Marilyn, the Bearlady

Connie, You really should submit this stuff for publication! It's a scream....like Mo said...Readers Digest would love this story. My vagina story--- One of the first prescriptions I ever got filled after becoming a military wife in 1983...the airman announced over the intercom..."Prescription ready for Vagina H***"...then he choked...coughed...cleared his throat and said sheepishly..."that's Virginia". The roar of laughter from the pharmacy was impressive. You always keep us laughing girl. Va

Connie, Well, at least it's good to know that your pagina is "normal" and according to a 3 year old!! My 3 year old is constantly coming up with embarrassing coments at the oddest of times. You just have to roll with the punches! You did a great job! This will be another one of your stories I re-tell to my friends. You crack me up, woman! By the way - how is your dad? Hugs! -Wendy

I'm speechless; and I can count on one hand the number of times I've been speechless in my lifetime!. You crack me up. Reenie