Friday/Bad Day-Need Your Help

Marilyn - My heart truly goes out to you. I know depression as well, and my dad battled it all his life, so I know how this can cast a pall over your whole life. It is interesting that I came in and read this because I had a bad day yesterday myself and had that grey pall over my whole day/night. I realize for me part of it is hormonal, spurred on by a really bad dream and just some over-sensitivity on my part. But regardless of where it comes from, the most important thing is to do what you are doing and that is seeking a way out of it before it gains a foothold. Easier said than done, but important to try nonetheless. I hope your meds and good counselling can help you out of this darkness. And just remember that sometimes the darkest days can put you on a path to your brightest ones. I have had that experience more than once in my life where had I not gone through the rough times, I wouldn't have been presented with opportunities for better things yet to come. So sometimes it seems like it's all just crap, but sometimes going through it leads you to the treasure. Dina

You Know Dina that is exactly what my associate pastor told me today. The closer we get to God's word the more the Devil tries to beat us up. If it was not for the dark days we would not become the stronger individuals that we become because of it. Since my pcp never called in the script on Saturday I plan to be at her doorstep at 8.00 a.m to find out why? & get started on something tomorrow. I did have some paxil in the cupboard & I have taken it over the weekend. but, it is the timed release stuff & since we don't obsorb a lot of things like normal people I was not sure it would work, but, I am a lot better today so it has got me out of some of the dark (at least) I am not talking about finding ways to get out of this life anymore. My friends won't let me do that, anyway. I know the disease can kill, as I have said before that is why I lost my Brother I will get the help I need as I do not want to follow in any of his footsteps. Thanks for evryones suppport, that is exactly why I posted this in the first place, as I knew you would all be there. Love you all Marilyn, the Bearlady

Marilyn, I understand where you are coming from - all too well. I feel for you and what you are going through right now. I too, was contemplating the easy way out not too long ago. Probably the closest I've come to a complete and total meltdown. Then I thought of my kids and my friends and how they would feel if I left them. I've turned to food for comfort too many times to even count. As I've progressed through my divorce/financial/employment turmoil, I've put on about 30 pounds. Not proud, but I finally quit beating myself up for the bad food choices. I also realize that I could have turned to any other substance to numb the pain, but I didn't. It could be much, much worse. What you are going through tests your faith, your strength, your character. This too shall pass. Hang in there, come here for support (I sure do!) and keep your head up. I think that going to church can only help. Pray for strength. God will give it to you. In the meantime, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us up to date on how you are doing this week..... Hugs to you! -Wendy